All posts tagged Tom Brady

Tom Brady Montage of Ammonia-Soaked Sadness

By | January 18, 2011 | Football, NFL, Talking Trash | 7 Comments

Now that a few days have passed, let’s revisit some of the moments that Tom Brady had to apparently sniff ammonia to get through, as the Pats lost to the Jets on Sunday.


Yeah, ammonia, Brady said on the WEEI Dennis & Callahan radio show Monday.

We all do it. It’s kind of a receiver and quarterback thing.

It’s legal, sayeth the NFL. The New York Times reported that NFL rep Greg Aiello e-mailed to say it wasn’t prohibited but it was a practice monitored by their “medical advisors.”

But anyway, it didn’t help.

Brady also got some shots in at Antonio Cromartie and the Jets, basically saying it was too bad that they got their confidence from trash talk and that was why they won the game.

When you’ve had a good year, you can say whatever you want to say. I wish we’d won just to be able to shut them up. But we didn’t, so it just validates what they think it takes to win. That’s where they get their confidence from. Like I said, I certainly wish we’d went out and executed a lot better. But we didn’t.

This says nothing about what it takes to really win a game in the end, which is to put more points up on the board. The Jets may have mouthed off pre- and post-game, but it wasn’t just their confidence that kept Tom Brady from scoring, right?

There there, ammonia boy.

Images, from top:

Elsa, Getty Images
Jim Rogash, Getty Images
Michael Heiman, Getty Images

Rex Ryan and Wes Welker Take Foot Fetishes Mainstream

By | January 15, 2011 | NFL, WTF? | 2 Comments

So I’m watching my local news last night and sports reporter Lindsay Czarniak started talking about Pats’ wide receiver Wes Welker giving a press conference about their playoff game tomorrow against the New York Jets.

She said, and I totally paraphrase, “Oh, you know how Rex Ryan loves his wife’s feet. He thinks they’re sexy. There’s a video going around the Internet and everybody’s trash-talking him.”

It should be noted that Ryan has never officially confirmed or denied that it is actually his wife in those videos or that he filmed them. But yes, this presser with Welker stood out because it just happened to be littered with foot-related comments. This was an homage, one can make the mental leap, to the world’s exposure late last year to Ryan‘s foray into internet displays of foot fetishism.

Wes Welker jabs Rex Ryan over foot fetish video: MyFoxBOSTON.com

Several players had “great feet,” Welker har-de-har’d. They needed to put their best foot forward and be good little foot soldiers. I got bored of counting at nine foot references, but some places say there were 11. Afterwards Jets linebacker Bart Scott puffed out his chest and got all indignant (and kind of threatening, it must be said) and said Welker should be careful what he said about Ryan, because his “days in a uniform will be numbered.

What? What is Bart Scott going to do? Get Wes Welker fired? Steal his uniforms? CRUSH HIM LIKE A BUG?

Players on both sides have been yapping for days. Antonio Cromartie called Tom Brady an asshole. Brady said he hated the Jets awhile back in an interview about their appearance on Hard Knocks. And Peter King from Sports Illustrated tweeted that NFL Vice President Ray ANderson reportedly contacted all eight playoff teams and told them to knock off the trash talk and respect the game. (No word on whether he had a special phone call for Hines Ward.)

Now, I’m a big fan of Lindsay’s. I can’t imagine when she sleeps. She covers pretty much every sport, is constantly on location, does features with players that don’t suck and is in the studio for the late-night news more often than not. But it made me twitchy to hear her giggle over Rex Ryan’s videos of his wife’s feet on the internet, while she’s reporting on a press conference even where several double entendres about said feet were made. I’m not sure her affectionate, virtual-punch-to-Rex-Ryan’s-shoulder tone about how this silly little fetish has been big news lately really works for news.

Or anything, for that matter. I don’t think Rex Ryan’s foot fetish makes me comfortable at all. Maybe that’s the problem and I need to work that out in this forum.

Or maybe I was just in danger of dying from the stupid of it all, who knows.

And yes, I know they were allegedly his wife’s feet and not those of some anonymous internet foot fetish floozy, so that’s good. Do what you need to do to keep it fresh and exciting, I guess.

I just don’t think it needs to be pardoned on the nightly news. Or discussed in a press conference, for that matter, but at least that was funny.

That’s called putting my foot in my mouth, if you’re playing along at home. Next step? Actually watching a football game to see who actually wins at something other than running his mouth.

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Hatefest In New England

By | January 13, 2011 | Football, NFL | 1 Comment

Tom Brady hates the Jets and he hates Rex Ryan. Rex Ryan hates Tom Brady and the Patriots. And now, the Jets’ Cromartie is feeling the hate.

In an interview, Cromartie said things that can’t be printed on regular sites like, ”asshole” and “Fuck him.” Make no mistake, Antonio Cromartie hates Tom  Brady and the New England Patriots, all the way back to when Cromartie was on the Chargers and didn’t like the way the Patriots celebrated.

He also might be a little peeved about about the Patriots/Jets last meeting, in which Brady operated with all the precision of Dexter, carving up the Jets secondary in a 42-point victory. It doesn’t help that after each time he burns you, he points to your sideline and flashes his million dollar smile. It’s exactly the kind of thing that makes you hate a man, if you’re the type of man who hates people for doing the same thing your friends do.

Is anyone else troubled by the way “hate” is being thrown around here? Brady threw the first hate bomb during an interview when asked about the Jets being featured on the show “Hard Knocks”.  Brady said he hated the Jets, and ever since, everyone hates everyone.

Fellas, calm the fuck down. Don’t make me get physical, because I will do it.  Get ready for 165 pounds of whirling baby fat coming at you for seconds on end. Someone has to take control of this situation.

Tom, Antonio, Rex, football is a game. It has a ball and everything. You happen to be the few lucky enough to make millions of dollars doing it as a real job. The word “hate” should not be in your vocabularies, especially if you also claim that the reason you win is because God wants you to. Whether or not any of these three have made that claim specifically, I don’t recall, but as it says in the Bible, “Stop being such a tool.”

I understand the passion football inspires. In fact, only a few weeks ago, my friend and I were an inch away from bludgeoning each other with whatever was closest to us. Why? Because the Bucs can’t beat the Falcons. Ha. Do I hate him? Not today, but if he roots for the Packers this weekend, yes.

Don’t do as I do, do as I say. I’m a horrible example and you’re missing the point. You guys should be dancing on a cloud, throwing money in the air and weeing like that pig in the Geico commercial. I’m not sure I could hate anything if I made millions of dollars for watching House re-runs, which I have to like as much as you like playing football. My point is, don’t make me come over there and separate you boys. Play nice. We can try to rip each other’s heads off without being so negative. Jeez.

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Halloween Roundup: Sports Costume Edition

By | October 30, 2010 | Basketball, Celebrity Athletes, Football, Tennis | 2 Comments

Got Halloween and associated costumes on your mind? If so, you’re in the company of many athletes and fellow fans:

Like so many things, this is all Hines Ward’s fault. He was on one of the morning radio shows this week, saying the Steelers hoped to convince Casey Hampton to dress as an M&M, and Mike Wallace as a pretzel. Once I erased that horrifying image from my brain, I started to wonder what other athletes might dress as for Halloween.

This young man is a striking version of former Texas Ranger Ron Washington.

ron-washington-halloween(Image originally TwitPic’d by Gordon Keith.)

Look out Boston. Newest Celtic Shaquita is coming your way and he’ll be riding the T in a potentially offensive costume for absolutely no reason whatsoever.

We’re supposed to be over it — and him — by now, but Brett Favre seems to be on everyone’s list, whether you want to put him in a trench coat or a banana costume (as DDS writer HeadlessMom suggested). Alternatively, just put on a Jets’ jersey and carry a cell phone.

Brady’s Bieber hair is still getting some attention. And Eli as Peyton? Brilliant.

Sports Illustrated’s vault has a fantastic gallery of athletes in costume. My personal favorite is John McEnroe as a younger version of himself.

john-mcenroe-halloween

Follow @si_vault on twitter for lots more.

I absolutely love this photo of Jeff Gordon dressed as a “one night stand.” The creativity winner, by a mile.

jeff-gordon-halloween(Image: Getty)

Want to be Lovie Smith this year? It’s easy. “Randomly throw red things around without rhyme or reason.”

How about the 2010 Red Sox team. You can be ALL of them, simply by putting “a cast on your hand, a splint on your ankle, drip some blood all over and paint a black eye on your face.”

football halloween costume

Closer to home, my son decided to “be the ball” this year. We reminded his eighth grade buddies to protect the pigskin at all times. Needless to say, they were far too cool for that sort of nonsense.

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Bieber Fever Takes Over New England Locker Room

By | October 28, 2010 | Crazy People, Football | Comments Off

First it was Tom Brady.

tom-bieber-brady-more-hair

Now it appears as if it has spread to Julian Edelman.

edelman-bieber

What the hell is going on in Foxboro? I didn’t realize that haircuts could be catching.

Adalius Thomas looks nervous.

Adalius-thomas-96-partiots

[photo by Ted Fitzgerald]

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