All posts tagged steroids

Marion Jones Signs With Shock

By | March 10, 2010 | Basketball | 3 Comments

Marion Jones is going to play basketball in the WNBA.marion_jones_flag

Yes, that Marion Jones. The same Marion Jones who won five medals in the 2000 Summer Olympics in Sydney and then had to give them all back when she admitted that she had been using performance enhancing drugs. The same Marion Jones who served a six-month prison sentence for lying to federal agents during the BALCO steroids investigation.

Well, it turns out that in addition to being a really fast runner and a felon, Marion Jones is also quite the basketball player. In fact, she played point guard for the 1994 UNC National Championship team and she was drafted by the Phoenix Mercury back in 2003.

Now Jones is back and she will be playing basketball with the Tulsa Shock.

A shock indeed.

[photo: BBC Sport Online]

[source]

MLB Will Not Punish Alex Rodriguez for Steroid Use

By | September 12, 2009 | Baseball | 3 Comments

After completing their investigation Major League Baseball has decided not to punish A-Rod.A_Rod_Alex_Rodriguez

Well, why the hell not?

Is it okay to cheat as long as you come clean about exactly how long you were breaking the rules and you were telling the truth about that?

Oh, you just used steroids from 2001 until 2003 – no problem.

No wonder he always looks so smug.

The Yankees had no comment. I can only assume they didn’t comment because “We’re having a big party that involves lots of gloating, drugs and hookers, but don’t worry, we’ll admit the exact details of our transgressions later and Selig will be cool.” sounds really bad as a sound byte.

I am starting to really hate the entire MLB organization.

OH MY GOD SOMEONE IN BASEBALL USED STEROIDS??

By | May 7, 2009 | Baseball | 1 Comment

I’m serious man. Could I CARE LESS about anything except like Brittnee Spears (or however she spells her name).
Historically, it all started with the GREAT BASEBALL STRIKE. Remember the STRIKE? In 1994 they cancelled BASEBALL. Remember? They cancelled an entire sport?
And America said, “Okay Baseball -well, mostly fuck you too.”
I mean, you gotta like baseball, baseball games are a blast to go to – you drink some six dollar beer, get really drunk by the 7th – sing the song LOUD during the stretch (especially if’n you are a Cubbies Fan) and well………it’s an event.
But you know, that LOVE. That warm OH MY GOD THE BIG RED MACHINE IS ON TV TODAY AND I’M MISSING IT sort of love……..well….it faded.
Well then the strike was over and we were all supposed to come running back and make sweet love to a sport that had gotten up and left before we got ours that summer.
And we didn’t.
We said “Yeah well we can see you when we’re not washing our hair or you know, out on a date with someone we take seriously like the NBA or NFL…….you can be our bootie call. But a steady relationship? Mmmmmm, you’re JUST not steady relationship material, baseball. You flaked out babe, I dunno.”
So they decided to get smexy.
The players had to break the records, it had to be AN EVENT. GREAT AMERICAN HISTORY BEING MADE as heroes were hitting them out ONE after the other after the OTHER…..
and well…..

Just like a bunch of girls……we were kind of excited. We enjoyed the fancy restaurant and the dancing but you know….long term? Well, we decided to date you but left ourselves open to date other people.

But you’ve continued to use steroids, Baseball.

And here is what is sort of new, I guess. Like that boyfriend who just won’t put down the joint – eventually – we don’t even care anymore. We’re looking for other things out of you to keep us happy. We might not know what that is yet, but we’re still looking for it – and have been since 1994.

I’m bored, let’em dope. Manny Ramirez – enjoy your time off.

And boom goes the dynamite

By | February 9, 2009 | Baseball | 2 Comments

“No.”

That’s a pretty cut-and-dry, definitive statement by Alex Rodriguez, affectionately and forever known in Boston as A-Roid. It was his answer to Katie Couric when asked by the “once perky” anchor during a 2007 interview on CBS, “For the record, have you ever used steroids, Human Growth Hormone or any other performance-enhancing substance?”

“No,” Rodriguez replied tersely.

Turns out that’s not altogether true. Actually it’s not true at all. There is zero truth in that one word so often spoken by my two-year-old daughter. So, he lied to America’s favorite second-favorite third-favorite a network anchor about using performance-enhancing drugs during the season in which he was named AL MVP and ran away with the home run title. So what has been billed as pure talent; as raw devotion to the game got a boost from time-to-time…over three seasons. Hmm, that ain’t so pure or raw.

Now I’ll ask this question (actually a few questions): will A-Roid (I have to do this, I am contractually obligated by birth – sue me) be run out on a rail now that he has openly admitted to using? Is his HoF lock now in jeopardy? Do we just agree that Hank Aaron is the home run champion, close that book and be done with it? Does Rodriguez have the same amount of scorn heaped on him as Barry (still no info there)? McGwire (never proven)? Canseco (gloriously out of the roid closet, syringes in hand)? Clemens (still in question)? Sosa (never proven)? Giambi admitted the error of his ways to the baseball gods and Bud Selig and was subsequently welcomed back, but then again, he appears to be a nice guy. A-Roid? I’m not sure even his dog likes him.

I was listening to WFAN on my way home yesterday (comedy gold to a Bostonian). Now, admittedly I am a homer when it comes to Boston sports having lived and breathed it for nearly all of my 41 years. But, listening to the callers yesterday I was struck by how quickly, fervently and vocally many of them came to A-Roid’s defense when a year ago they were burning Clemens in effigy in the Bronx based on the still-disputed testimony of the somewhat creepy (who keeps syringes and gauze?) Brian McNamee within days of the Mitchell Report. Now that’s he’s admitted to cheating – and that’s what it is, let’s not have any illusions – when will New Yorkers start throwing syringes at dart boards with A-Roid’s face tacked to them?

In the grand scheme of things, I’m happy I don’t have to explain any of this crap to my kids. I honestly could not care less that A-Roid was using whatever he was using. I do love that he just took every ounce of wind from the Yankees’ sails regarding their off-season and that Spring Training will be a media circus – woo-hoo! Repeat after me: Scha-den-freude. I also love that it will be great fodder for the bleacher dawgs at Fenway – that Madonna cheer last season was nothing compared to what’s coming.

Speaking of: Is there any way any of this can be blamed on Madonna?

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