All posts tagged NHL

Racism is in the Eye of the Beholder, Unless You’re Racist

By | September 30, 2011 | Hockey | Comments Off

So, let’s say you’re at hockey game and someone makes a play that you, in your infinite wisdom do not agree with. Do you:

A) Yell that your grandma plays better hockey from her wheelchair with her guide dog.

B) Yell that they should replace said player with the team mascot for maximum effectiveness.

C) Yell that you, as a mid-level manager at a dog food supply company could play better (insert position here) than said player.

D) Throw a banana at said player, who happens to be black.

If you chose D, like the douche who threw a banana at Philadelphia Flyer Wayne Simmonds (one of the few black players in the NHL), I should like you to consider the following.

Douchey McKKK is admitting to throwing the banana, but is flummoxed at why people would think it’s racist. His lawyer adds that, if anything, Christopher Moorehouse wishes he’d chosen another fruit:

He was horrified when he saw the implications a day later as to how it had come out, and he said to me, ‘If I had an apple or an orange, I would have thrown that out onto the ice. I did not realize the significance. This is a young guy who’s guilty, if anything, of an act of stupidity.

Um. I don’t know. It might be racist because you threw a BANANA at a BLACK guy. This is not a complicated algorithm. So yes, Christopher Moorehouse. When you premeditated your offense by bringing a banana to a hockey arena to throw it at one of the few black players in the league, you can rest assured that what you are doing is, indeed, racist.

You can also cease acting shocked that everyone else thinks so, too.

At least Simmonds got the goal.

Photo Credit

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The Game That Changed My Life

By | September 6, 2011 | Hockey, NHL, Why I Love... | 4 Comments

Hi. I’m Canadian. That means I’m morally obligated to love hockey, unless I want to be exiled, eh? Sadly, this love didn’t come to me until I was 13.

On October 4, 1991, I attended my first Vancouver Canucks game. That was also the San Jose Shark’s very first game – I still have my puck like the one above. My grandfather had four tickets, but they were not together. I sat with my dad for the first and second periods in the lower bowl while my brother sat with Grandpa in the upper seats; we switched for the third period.

It was unlike anything I had experienced in my life. Attending a game is not even remotely close to watching it on television. The atmosphere and excitement is electric. (Although, to be fair, I still find it somewhat difficult to follow along without the play-by-play.) The sights and sounds are overwhelming – well, at least for a 13-year old from the sticks they were.

I’ve been a Canucks fan ever since, and support the local hockey club whenever possible. I haven’t been to a Canucks game since I was 19 (14 long years ago), but I’d probably have to sell a kidney AND my liver to get good tickets now. Because of the family I’ve gotten myself into, I will also cheer for the Habs, but not when they’re playing Vancouver, obviously. And when it comes to the playoffs, if my team is practicing their golf swings, I’ll cheer for whichever Canadian teams are left.

I don’t know a lot about hockey: I just know that I love it, and that’s good enough for me.

[Source]

Hockey and the lack of it which shall surely make me go slightly left of insane. Or, right of insane. Or maybe smack dab in the middle.

By | September 2, 2011 | Crazy People, Hockey | 5 Comments

I love hockey. You may have gleaned that by my utter lack of writing about anything else except for hockey. Oh, and Brett Favre. But, mostly hockey.

Right now, there is no hockey and that gives my heart a sad and makes me more than just slightly unbearable in daily conversation. So, when my husband-to-be-I-completely-hate-the-word-fiance and I bought our season tickets this year, we were stoked to hear about open house. You get to go and have pretty much free run of the arena, find your seats for the season and make an ass out of yourself in the same place your beloved team plays your favorite game.

Since we are super high- falutin’ we sit here, where noses bleed. The players can still hear me yell.

I am slightly concerned, now that I am a full-fledged season ticket holder that when I talk crap, they will totally know where to find me. Since I was wearing totally ridiculous shoes and had already tripped 7 times while finding our seats, the only logical thing seemed to go walk around on the ice….before they put ice on it.

Nothing says high quality journalism like handing your significant other the camera and hoping for the best. Here I am, blurrily in the sin bin, voicing a protest. Or, having a convulsion.

Also, yes. I wear sequins to the hockey arena. Suck it.

4th line for life, yo! Here we are riding the bench and me almost being inappropriate with my hands.

I am always impressed with line changes, how players make them look so totally effortless. So I asked him, I asked,  “hey, let’s do a line change, won’t that be fun?” To which he promptly replied, “yeah, why don’t you fall directly on your face? Won’t that be great?” Also, no. I don’t know what’s going on with my hair in that photo, it was very rude of you to ask.

Jeeves, be a fine chap and get me a scotch, would you?

On our way through the player’s tunnel and into the home locker room, we passed the immensely fancy Toyota Club lounge. Which, strikes me funny because to afford the tickets that allow you into the lounge you would have enough money to drive something a wee more high-end than a Toyota. I mean, I drive a Toyota. My happy ass is not sitting in that lounge. The inequity. It burns.

Missing Stanley.

Our trophy case. *le sigh*

Wow. My livingroom> this player’s lounge.

Now, I am almost entirely certain that there is more to the player’s lounge than these rockin’ 80′s couches and the enormous TV that isn’t pictured here. Because, this looks pretty stingy.

I should work here. Partially because I am a kick-ass massage therapist and partially because there are naked hockey asses on these tables.

Because of my profession, I was actually super excited to see this room. I literally said “oooooo” at all of those beautiful supplies. These guys are incredibly well taken care of.

Compete like a champion and STILL get swept in the first round!

Inside the workout facility, ponytail lady is stealing Coyotes water. Have some class, people! All I did was rub my ass on the recumbent bike. Let my decorum be your guide.

Keith Yandle #3. He has touched this. I may need a moment to myself.

My boyfriend hangs his stick here. Take that however you’d like.

As we exited the Coyotes locker room and facilities, we sneaked back across the iceless ice, to the visitor’s facilities. Apparently, we were not supposed to be there.

Gary B Bettman, president of EARTH denies you access to these areas. We went in anyway.

However, our rebellion was short lived as a man in a very white polo with a very stern expression gave us the stink eye until we felt self conscious. Then, our transgression adequately reprimanded, we left.

But now, I want hockey. I want it so bad I can taste it (it’s really salty). I have lost all interest in football, and all I can think of is putting on my gear and losing my voice at a game. I want the excuse to wear the cutest pom-pom hat known to man, to eat hot pretzels with loads of salt and to watch athletes who are not only physically amazing, but who play for love of the game.

Come on, hockey! Hurry up!

Sidney Crosby: Not Retired, Not Returned

By | August 25, 2011 | Celebrity Athletes, Hockey, injuries, Missing Athletes, NHL | 3 Comments

Twitter chatter picked up yesterday about the status of Pittsburgh Penguins forward Sidney Crosby, pointedly absent and silent during the off-season, as teams prepare to go to training camp.

The word “retired” appeared at least once as I scrolled past.

“No way,” I said aloud, to no one. “No. Way.” I may have gotten a little chill, I admit it.

I don’t like Sidney Crosby, as I am contractually required not to as a card-carrying member of the Washington Capitals Irrational Penguins Hate Club. I hate his commercials where he hits pucks into garbage cans or whatever in his mom’s basement. I don’t care for his attitude, about which I know nothing, really. Small detail. I don’t call him names (I really don’t) because that’s just not my bag, but I dislike him in the way one can only irrationally dislike a star player on a rival team. This is America, man. I don’t need a reason.

However, I’m not interested in any guy going out of his game at the age of 24 due to brain injury, or even having a brain injury. Yes, I’ve watched the hits over and over that got him in this situation. No, I don’t think the Winter Classic hit from Dave Steckel was dirty. Yes, I think Victor Hedman should have gotten more than two minutes for checking in the hit a few days later in Tampa Bay, which I believe in my uneducated, unscientific brain is really what got him into this mess in the first place. It really makes no nevermind to me what caused it, at this point. I just know that a career-ending injury would be devastating for him, the city of Pittsburgh (where I have friends with whom I like to keep my rivalries friendly) and, really, the NHL. The league and the fans benefit from having gifted players on the ice, and that’s the kind of hockey I like to watch.

Also, Canada. I like some Canadians, and he won them that medal that I didn’t begrudge them in the slightest. And although I fully plan to celebrate a Washington Capitals’ Stanley Cup win when it happens, I don’t want to hear that it happened because Sid wasn’t on the ice.

I have a lot of feelings about this, apparently.

So when I finally caught up with the Sidney Crosby news tonight, it appeared that there was no news. This didn’t stop the Sid alarms from going off all over the hockey web, but mostly it was defensive press release-y kinds of stuff. I could find no more mentions of the r-word, just a lot of “We can’t speculate” and “He’ll come back when he’s healthy” and “Hey, chump, last time I checked training camp hadn’t started. He’s working out. Go away.”

His manager Pat Brisson said Monday:

Sidney hasn’t been shut down by anyone, He has simply adjusted his summer program according to the different needs for the appropriate recovery.

Alrighty. He’s done the different things for the things for the appropriateness of the stuff and the program and the things. Quotes like this make me wish these guys would just recite the lyrics to Yankee Doodle Dandy while the reporters stare back slack-jawed, because that would at least be newsworthy, and slightly more interesting.

Anyway, Brisson gave more vague details about Crosby’s recovery, and said pretty much nothing, insinuating therefore that there was, quite simply, nothing to say. He would return when he was ready, and so far he isn’t. His primary symptoms have been headaches, but he expected him to be back on the ice when he was healthy and to play for many years.

Pens coach Dan Bylsma said Crosby has been working out, so stick that puck where you can fit it:

Sidney’s progressed nicely this summer, he’s had a long summer, he’s worked out in June and July. We’re hoping for Sidney to come back in and be ready to go for training camp. I know he’s worked out more now than he has probably the last three summers.

I’m now envisioning Sid the Kid rolling up to training camp like a beefed-up boss, with solid gold shoulder pads maybe, just for the entrance.

Concussions are serious business, and the truth is that erring on the side of caution seems better than throwing a guy out there who isn’t ready for whatever reason. And if I were a Pens fan I’d be banking on two things at this point. One, the hope that Sid gets better soon, because they love the crap out of him up there, and let’s face it, last season didn’t look so great over the long haul. And two? Play some golf, Sid. Get some spa treatments. Heal, and pop up just in time for the playoffs.

Stranger things, my hockey friends. Stranger, craftier things.

Source: NHL.com

Photo: Getty, Jamie Squire

Breaking — Former Canuck Rick Rypien, 27, Dies

By | August 16, 2011 | Breaking News, R.I.P. | 1 Comment

NHL forward Rick Rypien, 27, formerly of the Vancouver Canucks and slated to return to the newly reformed Winnipeg Jets this season, died today in his Alberta home.

The Royal Canadian Mounted Police released a statement saying that Rypien was discovered dead at approximately 12:30 p.m., of natural causes.

Rypien spent his entire six-season career with the Canucks, with some breaks to play for the organization’s Winnipeg farm team. He reportedly suffered from depression and had left the roster twice in the past two years to get help for his condition. He was suspended and fined last October for an altercation with a fan in Minnesota. He said in a press conference in March that he was at a place where he was ready to handle his personal issues and play hockey.

“I missed a lot of hockey, but certain things needed to be dealt with. I’ve got a totally different mindset now and I’m very excited. I’m more excited about playing hockey than I’ve ever been in my life.”

The Winnipeg Jets released the following statement:

We are deeply saddened to confirm Rick’s passing. As many people are aware, he had strong ties to True North Sports & Entertainment, the Winnipeg Jets Hockey Club, the former Manitoba Moose Hockey Club and the Vancouver Canucks. We would like to express our sincere sympathies to the Rypien family as well as Rick’s friends. We also appreciate all of the support that has come pouring in from Rick’s fans. Rick was a talented player with an extremely bright future. His hunger for the game made him a valued team member both on and off the ice. This loss has impacted us as more than just a hockey team.

The Canucks also released a statement Monday night:

It is with tremendous sadness that the Vancouver Canucks confirm the passing of Rick Rypien. Rick has been a beloved member of the Canucks family for the past six years. Rick was a great teammate and friend to our players, coaches and staff. We send our deepest condolences to the Rypien family at this most difficult time.
Rypien is the second NHL player in his 20s to pass away this year. Derek Boogaard, most recently with the New York Rangers, died from a combination alcohol and drug overdose in May.
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