All posts tagged Michael Vick

Every week before gametime, I call my buddy to discuss who we should play. We give each other advice, I either accept his or don’t, and if I lose, I beat myself up for either listening to him or not listening to him. This week, he prefaced everything he said with, “I’m wrong about everything this year, but this is who you should play…”  Because I’m a dumbass, I focused on the latter, and I’m now almost positive he’s just fucking with me.

With that, we stroll down memory lane and look back on my previous picks:

Last week I said Mike Vick and DeAngelo Hall could get into a Thunderdome battle and it would be fine with me.  On Sunday, DeAngelo Hall crushed Vick’s ribs.  Had this happened in a dome, I’d be opening a church and charging you money.  Had DeAngelo been a midget on a giant’s shoulders, it would have been way cooler.

Brandon Lloyd (Broncos) has clearly emerged as Orton’s go-to guy (115 yds on Sunday), making me right for last week, but wrong about Denver’s other receiver, Demariyus Thomas. After looking like Brandon Marshall’s replacement in Week 2, he’s since liked Keanu Reeves in The Replacements. It’s clear that Eddie Royal and Brandon Lloyd are the favorites and both should continue to do well.

Jacoby Jones (Texans) is making me puke. I played him over Lloyd because Andre Johnson was hurt. Well, Jacoby Jones was hurt, too. Urghhh!!! I still won, though, but I’ll probably miss the playoffs by the points it cost me. (Thanks, Bryan. Asshole.)

The Chargers’ Ryan Mathews returned on Sunday, but Tolbert carried the load, racking up a hundred on sixteen carries and a touchdown. Tolbert averaged 6.3 yds per carry. Mathews averaged 6.1 yds per carry. Until Tolbert slows down or Mathews speeds up, Tolbert could continue to be a viable option. Tolbert received twice as many carries, but it was clear that Mathews was being eased back into action. I’d expect at least a 60/40 split favoring Mathews, but Tolbert could still do some damage. (I saw Ryan Mathews on Sport Science. I’m positive he could crush me with his eyebrow.)

Aaron Hernandez (Patriots TE) had 29 yds in Monday’s victory over Miami. The good news is, that’s 29 more yards than Randy Moss had and Hernandez almost accounted for 20% of Brady’s total passing yards. The bad news is, Brady didn’t throw for 700 yards.

I say Bruce Gradkowski, he throws for 278, 2 tds and an acceptable 2 int’s, with one rush for 16 yds almost negating one of those interceptions. So all in all, Gradkowski is looking solid and making me look like I have some kind of clue.

Okay, now let’s move on to guys who will excite you, you will play and they will score nothing.

Danny Woodhead – RB NE Patriots

Woodhead averaged 4.5 yards per carry and caught a short one for a td  during Monday night’s dismantling of the Dolphins. He only touched the ball 9 times, but each proved to be problematic for Miami’s stout defense. Green-Ellis is doing just fine, but regardless of that, expect Woodhead to get more playing time and even get the start should Green-Ellis go down. Sure, Fred Taylor’s around and will continue to impress us when he’s not hurt, unfortunately he will never not be hurt again. I’m not sure, but I think Fred Taylor was in Hee-Haw. Maybe it was The Benny Hill Show. I can’t remember, my point is that he’s super old. Not for a Mayan artifact, but for a running back, his time is near.  RB’s are getting slim, so Woodhead is worth a shot in deeper leagues.

Harry Douglas – WR Atlanta Falcons

Harry Douglas is sooo fast and Atlanta has said they’re committed to getting him the ball more.  Douglas has big play potential every time he touches the ball and could emerge as a weekly threat. 59 yds and a touchdown against San Francisco could be what gets this guy rolling on a consistent basis. I’m also a Falcon fan, so take that into consideration. I’ve had Brian Finneran on my team since ’98.

Shaun Hill – QB Detroit Lions

Shaun Hill is lighting up opposing defenses and losing, but he might be the best loser in the league. It’s only a matter of time in Detroit, I’m telling you. This team is on the precipice of greatness (as they have been since the birth of football), but this year seems different to me. Hill threw for 331 and 2 tds against Green Bay on Sunday, and again, almost won. The great thing is, you don’t have to be a winner to be of value in fantasy football. I’m sure that makes 0-4 taste a little sweeter.

Brandon Pettigrew – TE Detroit Lions

You’ve heard this name before, but since he was on Detroit, ehhh… who cares, right? Think in fantasy football terms: Losing teams throw more.  Pettigrew had 8 grabs for 91 yards on Sunday and is clearly being targeted early, often and it’s only a matter of time before he’s racking up the scores.

Ryan Torain – RB Washington Redskins

Portis left with a groin injury after averaging 5.5 yds per carry, Torain cleaned up with a nice day totaling 70 yds and a td.  Torain has value if Portis is hurt, and interstingly enough,  the groin injury Portis suffered on Sunday will likely sideline him this week and depending on the MRI results, maybe a good deal longer.  Portis is no spring chicken and while he still looks great, his body won’t take the beating it once did. I get tired walking through the mall, and I think Portis is older than I am. Sure, I’m faster (if I’m falling from a 2 story building) and in better shape (for a “who looks more like a potato?” contest), but getting older is an ugly fact of life (as evidenced by Larry King).

That’s it, kids. A couple of guys to remember are Mike Williams (Buccaneers) and Dexter McCluster (KC) if you’re looking for a WR fill-in, maybe even an every week starter. Feel free to add any guys you think I might have missed and I won’t even yell at you (probably). See you next week.

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