Michael Jordan Clears Things Up About LeBron James
I don’t think anyone can argue that LeBron is perhaps the most physically gifted player… maybe ever. He’s massive, he’s fast, he’s graceful… and he’s a big pussy. There. I said it. LeBron is a puss-wa. I say this with the complete knowledge that one day this giant man may stand before me and question my choice of words while I disappear in his shadow. That is when I will look up, raise myself on my tippy-toes, slightly pucker my lips before looking up at his massive chest and saying, “puuuuuusssssssssy”.
Pierce and Garnett hold back an angry LeBron after a fan says his jersey makes him look fat.
Am I saying I could beat up LeBron James? Nope. I’m just saying I would give it a shot if he wanted a piece. At 5′10″, 162, I would use my smallness to my advantage. My initial strategy would be to hide somewhere in his clothing, maybe his pocket or in his shoe. From there I would begin a vicious assault on his joints, or maybe even climb into an orifice and take him from the inside out like an angry squirrel in an attic full of wires.
Allow me to clear up the debate: LeBron isn’t fit to carry MJ’s jock strap. If any comparison can be made to MJ among the current players, let’s talk about Kobe Bryant. Had he not been accused of rape several years ago, he would be doing Hanes commercials and kids across America would be wearing Air Kobes.
Kobe Bryant was well on his way, and now with 5 championships under his belt and all with entirely different supporting casts (sound familiar?), it begs the question, “Is Kobe the next MJ?”. Let’s break it down:
Leader who elevates his teammates’ game. Check.
Killer jump shot. Check.
Top-notch defender. Check.
Takin’ it to the hole, baby. Check.
Three-pointer. (Kobe better from beyond the arc?)
Want the ball in his hands when game is on the line. Check.
One hand covered with rings. Check.
I’ve always found him to be a little smug, though as he’s aged, Kobe has seemed to humble (despite his continued accomplishments) and has become more MJ-like in just about every way. My point is, let’s look past LeBron’s enormous potential and pay a little attention to the guy who is actually doing it right before our eyes. Kobe Bryant may be the best basketball player we’ve ever seen, and for whatever reason, we’d rather not acknowledge it.
But enough about Kobe, let’s talk about his royal highness, King James. In an interview, Michael would clear it all up for us. After a recent celebrity golf tournament in Nevada, he succinctly, in true MJ fashion, wrapped up why LeBron will never be Michael Jordan:
“There’s no way, with hindsight, I would’ve ever called up Larry, called up Magic and said, ‘Hey, look, let’s get together and play on one team. But that’s … things are different. I can’t say that’s a bad thing. It’s an opportunity these kids have today. In all honesty, I was trying to beat those guys.”
I was trying to beat those guys.
There you have it. The best wants to play against the best, not play with the best (unless it was to humiliate third-world countries on a global stage).
The Miami Heat may go on to win a championship. They may win five. But this also wouldn’t be the first time a sports team has assembled incredible talent and failed to bring home a championship. I certainly hope this is one of those cases.
Cleveland is known for its status as pretty much the poorest city in the country. Now, that’s not LeBron’s fault, but he is the only one who has ever been in a position to literally save Cleveland. I’m not being dramatic. A championship sports franchise can make a city, bringing billions to a local economy, thousands and thousands of jobs, and literal happiness for sports fans who’ve been gettting the short end of the stick for… ever.
LeBron was in a position to put Cleveland on the sports map for something other than being historic losers, and literally change the way a whole city was perceived by every sports fan in the country. It’s not LeBron’s fault that all of that was resting on his shoulders, it just was.
“With great talent, comes great responsibility.”
Like I said. It’s not LeBron’s fault a whole city depended on him. I mean, hey, he just came to play basketball and all these problems existed before he got here. So he’s going to take what he needs and move on, leaving those people with all the same problems they had before.
It reminds me of those old westerns. You know, the ones where the hero gunslinger rides into the town that’s been terrorized by bandits and as he’s getting supplies, the people are explaining how this gang comes in every couple of weeks, steals their children and burns their houses down. And then the hero gets all mad and squinty-eyed (Clint Eastwood) and says, “Bummer. Good luck with that. On my way to par-taaaaaay in South Beach.”
Sometimes in life you find yourself in a position where you can positively touch millions of lives, lives that could really use it. And as is usually the case, it might come along with some personal sacrifice. In my mind, these are the kinds of decisions that define who you really are.
For me, LeBron has told me everything I will ever need to know about him. He’s not a hero, just a selfish guy out for his. He has become the shining example of the ugly side of professional sports, and more importantly, the ugly side of people. Sometimes we all need a hero, and LeBron is not it.
MayoPie likes sports. He has a blog, too.
