All posts tagged Indians

false positives

By | August 13, 2009 | Baseball | Comments Off

Ever since the Indians abandoned ship on the season they’ve been playing much better baseball. In fact, I fully expect them to play over .500 throughout the second half of the season thereby getting me really excited for next year and all their, “hot, young prospects.”

After all that great baseball, maybe some friends and I will decide to go in together on some Indians’ season tickets which, while affordable, aren’t exactly free especially when you add in all the 5 dollar hot dogs and whatnot. The excitement will quickly wain as the Indians will get off to a horrendous start. And maybe my wife will be so bored with their uninspiring play that she’ll want to leave within 3 innings as they’re getting their headdresses handed to them. And maybe I won’t disagree, as really, they are frustrating and underachieving and I’m not even drunk because some super-conscientious beer vendor lady (?) wouldn’t serve me and my expired driver’s license alcohol? Really? Despite my deft use of the Socratic method? Huh? Maybe it’ll go something like this:

“You admit that this is me and you don’t think I got this from my older brother or something, yes?”
“Yes. It’s you.”
“And you can see that it says I’m 33, right?”
“Yes.”
“And the purpose of you carding me is to establish that I’m old enough to drink, yes?”
“Yes.”
“And the fact that my license is expired is inconsequential to establishing my age.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Then I will be enjoying my $7 beer forthwith.”
“It is illegal for me to sell beer to someone with an expired license.”

(I will not point out that her co-worker had served me not long before because I’ll think he might be a little slow and I don’t want to get him in trouble because no doubt she’d turn him in.)

And maybe next year, that’ll really piss me off . . . along with all the losing. Or maybe that is what happened last year and, well, here we go again. Well, whatever Tribe, I won’t fall for it again. You can’t domestic abuse me and expect ANOTHER honeymoon period. It’s over with the season tickets. From now on, you’re relegated to TV viewing and drive-time radio broadcasts. It was fun while it lasted . . . which was about May 15th.

baseball could give me a massive coronary

By | April 30, 2009 | Baseball | 1 Comment

I ate a lot of bacon tonight in an attempt to soothe myself after a particularly troubling and maddening Indians loss. Why bacon? Because bacon is delicious. I was not about to eat tomatoes, which would have only infuriated me further. Seriously, the only thing that would have made me feel better would have been if Jensen Lewis were here cooking me the bacon whilst I berated him (or perhaps boxed him about the ears?) for being such a crappy pitcher and all-around jerk. Ok, ok. He had a bad day and it wasn’t (entirely) his fault and really it’s the “trends” of the season are disturbing me. It’s kind of like when you can tell a relationship is going badly and you don’t necessarily want to get the boot. You know it won’t happen right away. So you try to hold on till August (when anything can happen), but kid, it ain’t happening. You can’t ski the K-12.

At any rate, I can’t prove this statistically but the Indians have developed a habit of “finding a way to lose.” That’s what the coaches are always talking about, right? If it’s not the starters screwing up, it’s the relievers. If it’s not the relievers, it’s the starters. Should they both decide to pull it together the hitting and defense go AWOL.

Oh well, the baseball season is absurdly long. And hopefully something good will happen – like getting 20 to 25 new players.

triple play!

By | August 27, 2007 | Baseball | 2 Comments

I was at the game tonight when the Indians turned a 5-4-3 triple play (the rarity of it being demonstrated by the fact that I wrote 5-4-3 double play). But it was not a DOUBLE play; it was a triple play. It was a whole innings worth of outs in one swing of the bat. Double plus good. I was very excited to have witnessed it in person.

Crossposted at my blog.

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