All posts tagged draft day suit

The Kansas City Chiefs Win The AFC West

By | December 31, 2010 | Football, NFL, playoffs | Comments Off

Yes, I know I am about five days late on this. But I am the only writer on the Draft Day Suit staff that gives a shit about Kansas City sports, so you will listen when I have the microphone dammit!

Ahem.

Anyway, thanks to my fine friends in Cincinnati (specifically Carson Palmer for ripping San Diego’s defense a new asshole), my beloved Chiefs have locked down the AFC West division title. And man, does it feel good! Not only have we made the playoffs for the first time since the 2006 season, but we actually get to host a playoff game at the new Arrowhead Stadium. Double bonus!

When this season began, I wouldn’t have even dreamed that we would be playoff bound let alone division champs. Hell, I was shooting for an 8-8 record and just a bit of progress in the playoff direction. To say I am surprised and thrilled would be an understatement. But with all this excitement comes a tad bit of worry. And what worries me the most? Indianapolis is still in the playoff picture.

If you aren’t familiar with Chiefs’ most recent playoff history, lemme pull you up to speed. Three of the last four playoff games the Chiefs found themselves in just happened to be against the Indianapolis Colts. How many of the three did the Chiefs win, you ask? ZERO. It’s basically the same old story each time. The Chiefs show up, Peyton Manning confuses them with shiny things, and we lose. Period. Point. Blank.

So, with the Colts needing a win this weekend, all I can do is one thing and one thing only. Well, actually two things. First? Drink beer. That always helps any situation. Second? Cheer on the Tennessee Titans, of course. So, here’s to you, Tennessee. Please, please do me a solid and kick some Colt ass this weekend. The entire Kansas City area will forever be your friend.

Zack Greinke To The Blue Jays? Say It Ain’t So!

By | November 12, 2010 | Baseball | 1 Comment

Shit. Shit. Shit. That’s all I can say. I knew this was going to happen. One of the best pitchers to sport a Kansas City Royals uniform in decades may soon be on his way out. According to reports from The Toronto Sun, the Blue Jays have shown some major interest in Mr. Greinke. Not only do they want Zack, they apparently have their peepholes set on grabbing Alex Gordon as well.

Okay, look. They can fucking have Alex Gordon. The one time “such a sure thing” third basemen has been nothing but a huge bust for us. I mean, I have played more professional games than he has in the last two years. Okay, that’s a complete lie, but still. But for everything holy and unholy, keep your grubby paws off of Zack Greinke. He’s one of the only players on the roster that actually sells tickets right now. We’ve already shipped off fan favorite David DeJesus in a trade with Oakland this week. Now who the fuck am I going to plop down my hard earned money to see? Willie Bloomquist?

Now, I am sure this could actually help the Royals in the long run. Especially if they get the sure thing prospects they oh so covet for Greinke. But given our track record for trades over the last, let’s say, um, 20 years, we will royally (get it?) fuck this one up. And you know what? I’ll be the first one to say “I told you so”.

[Source]

Wiener Grabbing?

By | October 21, 2010 | Football, NFL | 4 Comments

Chiefs Buccaneers Football

Last month, Kansas City Chiefs defensive lineman Shaun Smith was accused of grabbing a handful of another player’s man-meat. On not one, but two different occasions, something in Mr. Smith’s mind told him that grabbing some good old sack would help him and give him the upper hand so to speak. Now, this got my tiny, pea-sized brain thinking. And you know what happens when I start thinking.

Now, I am not advocating grabbing another man’s summer sausage here. Quite the contrary. But this is football people. It’s an awesomely violent sport that consists of all kinds of fuckery that we, as paying patrons, never really get to see or understand for that matter. I distinctly remember my football coaches as a kid telling us to do whatever we could get away with at the bottom of a pile. Hell, there was a time where I was instructed to “accidentally” stick my hands through an opponents face mask in order to poke an offensive lineman in the eye. So, me thinks that Mr. Smith, somewhere along the lines has been instructed to do everything within his power to win. If that means grabbing himself a fistful of schlong then so be it.

Okay, so maybe I am advocating a nut shot or two. You do what you have to do to win the game. As long as the referee doesn’t see it, who cares? I am pretty sure this happens more than is actually reported anyway. The two players that called out Shaun Smith and his man-bratwurst grabbing ways were both on the losing end of the battle. Something tells me if they were actually on the winning side of the field, this may not have been such an issue.

Seeing the Chiefs win three in a row to open the season has me all kind of blurry to reality anyway. I don’t care how they did it, I am just glad they did. So Mr. Smith, I implore you to continue your dick knocking ways. Well, that is until you get caught by a referee or the Chiefs lose because of it.

Good News For The Yankees

By | October 14, 2010 | Baseball | 2 Comments

Moustakas_Mike 5190.jpg

(Mike Moustakas will save the Royals. Or the Yankees. Or the Red Sox. Damn.)

Would someone please ensure that Brian Cashman gets this post? I mean, he probably already knows about this anyway, but I want to start the bidding process early. I want him to look forward into the next five years and envision all the sub-par, over the hill veterans he is going to trade to us to acquire all of our newly farmed talent. What in the hell am I talking about, you ask?

Well, being that the Royals are pretty much just an extension of the Yankees farm system (and the rest of the league for that matter), Mr. Cashman already knows what the Royals have in store the next couple of years. Talent. Yes, you read that correctly. Pure talent. So much so, Baseball America has deemed not one, not two, but FIVE of our prospects as top notch. In fact, the Royals have five of the top twenty prospects in the Texas League alone. With players like Mike Moustakas and Eric Hosmer at one and two respectively on the list, the Royals are sure to be locked and loaded for the next couple of years, right?

Um, wrong.

Given the Royals propensity to totally fuck themselves in the homegrown talent department, I am willing to bet they’ll mess this up somehow. Either we’ll have a bunch of bombs or something worse. We’ll do what we always do. We’ll trade them away. Even worse yet? We’ll trade them to the damned Yankees. No, not the band. The baseball team.

So in an effort to just get this over with, I am offering these fine prospects up to the highest bidder now. I can’t afford to get all excited and attached to these players. I’ve suffered enough heartbreak and anguish over the years. I know what a 65 win season feels like. I am fine with it. I pay my money, take my seat, and root the Royals on and ultimately watch them lose. But if you start getting my hopes up with pure badass talent, I am going to start thinking that the Royals actually have a chance. And I for one, just can’t handle that.

[Source]

TJ will start the bidding at $3 and a Chipotle gift card.

Internal Affairs

By | June 28, 2010 | Fantasy Sports | 3 Comments

While this may not interest all of you I’d like to take a moment to talk about the Draft Day Suit fantasy baseball league that a few of us are playing over at JHB Sports.

I’d also like to show you the standings.

Fantasy Baseball Standings

Why don’t I make people play for actual money? That is like four decent bottles of wine – or a cheap ass keg.

While, yes, this was partially to gloat, it is also to remind everyone that there are only 84 days left until football season begins – not even pre-season, but real deal NFL games that count. What I am saying is fantasy football, people.

Who is in?

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