All posts tagged Chicago Bears

If you’d have asked me two weeks ago, I would have told you that three of the four teams remaining in the NFL playoffs would be at home right now. I just wanted to tell you that so you know that everything else I say is completely irrelevant. Sure, I might sound like I know what I’m talking about, but I don’t. That said, let’s break down the final four with a bunch of meaningless information.

Keep in mind, all of this might as well be Mayan symbols of birds and shit as far as how it pertains to the outcome of this game. Because as I’ve learned, none of it means anything until they walk on the field and play.

Pittsburgh Steelers vs. NY Jets

I can say with some 78 percent assuredness that one of these teams is going to the Super Bowl.  If the Jets allow the Steelers to score as many points as the Patriots did, Pittsburgh should win this game.  Also, unlike Brady, Roethlisberger won’t curl up into a fetal position when the pass rush arrives. He’ll at least try to shake it off and make things happen.

The Steeler receivers match up well against the Jets’ secondary, and I believe Mike Wallace can beat both Revis and Cromartie. Rookies Antonio Brown and Emmanuel Sanders are hitting their strides and Ward won’t be stopped by anyone when you just have to have a first down. I think the Pittsburgh offense can handle the Jets D, but I can’t say the same of Mark Sanchez  and company vs. Troy Polamalu and James Harrison.

Obviously, the Jets can beat the Pittsburgh Steelers, but it’s not looking good. The Jets’ running game is a pivotal part of their offense, and the Steelers defense is not the Patriot or Colt defense. They are much, much nastier. Sanchez made some good throws last week, and some important throws. But he also made some horrible throws and I don’t believe he can afford to make those this weekend.

In my opinion, the Steelers will stuff Tomlinson and Greene, and Mark Sanchez will be forced to win this game. Against the Steelers defense, that’s a very tall order I don’t think Sanchez is ready to serve.

Of course, defense does win championships, and on paper, the Jets’ pass defense is better. Unfortunately, their quarterback isn’t. I think the Steelers take this one at home and put the Jets’ season to bed.

Green Bay Packers vs. Chicago Bears

Chicago is in big trouble. The mighty Aaron Rodgers makes the Bears’ rush defense about as useful as my Bowflex, and their 20th ranked pass defense won’t like what I think is about to happen to them.

The Bears enter this game with an enormous problem on their hands, as Rodgers is playing better football than anyone in the league right now, hands down. The last place in the world where you want to expose your secondary is in a game against this guy (or on Jenn Sterger’s phone).

Chicago will want to run the ball and control the clock, and I would like a house in the candy mountains with a chocolate fountain, a pegasus and cows in my yard that are already perfectly cooked steaks. I’d just walk out there and take some bites before taking a dip in the chocolate fountain, then falling back in my marshmallow bed. I have goals.

If the Bears get up early or stay within striking distance, they’ll be able to run the ball all day long. But if they’re playing catch-up and forced to rely on the turnover prone Cutler against the best passing defense left in the final four, Chicago’s going to have a very long day.

Now, forget everything you just read. It’s probably all very wrong, and I’m sorry to have wasted your time. Enjoy the games.

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