All posts tagged Brett Favre

NFL — Game On

I teared up a little bit when I saw the news.

Also - Rutherfordbhaze. How awesome is that?



The vote was unanimous. All 32 team representatives speaking for 1,900 members of the NFL Players Association voted to accept the 10 year deal presented to them by the NFL owners. This lockout had been going on since March – the longest in NFL history and the first NFL work stoppage in 24 years. Now, I won’t go into how old I am, but I can tell you that while I was watching football back then, I certainly wasn’t aware of the goings on of the players union. I was far more concerned about what Duran Duran and Bon Jovi were doing and as far as football went as long as the Bucs were winning I was happy.

Of course Tampa Bay didn’t win many football games back then. I guess some things haven’t changed that much. The Bucs are still in rough shape and I’ve seen both Bon Jovi and Duran Duran live this year, but other things have changed a lot! Now I run a sports blog and play in six or seven (fine, ten) fantasy football leagues every year. I also find myself caring deeply about player labor issues.

Being a grown up is so weird.

The short story is that the players and the owners both thought they were entitled to more money. Four and a half months later they came to an agreement where nobody got exactly what they wanted, but everyone could live with, just in time to get all of their paperwork straightened out before the NFL season starts on September 8.

Will the players be in shape by then? Will the rookies have time to learn the plays? Is there going to be a regular pre-season?

I really am mostly asking about the pre-season thing because the pre-season schedule has mysteriously disappeared from the NFL website and I was going to try to score tickets to the Redskins hosting my beloved Buccaneers now that I know there will in fact be football.

You know what? I can live without the preseason. For now I will just be happy there will be a regular season and start worrying about free agency and salary caps and making my draft charts for fantasy football. I guess I can also start grumbling about the rumors that Brett Favre and Tiki Barber are both trying to come out of retirement.

Did you think I was kidding about the tears? I wasn’t. I could stay mad at them for making me suffer all summer long. I am still disappointed at the levels of greed displayed by both sides but I would still rather watch a football game than a sitcom. I still get amped up when I hear the Monday Night Football song.

I still love the NFL.

* * *

Originally written for BlogHer.com

Sometimes They Come Back. Again. And Again.

Just when I thought losing the 2011-2012  NFL season was the worst thing that could possibly happen to professional football, I got this email.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

*sigh*

I give up.

Breaking News: Favre’s Sister Arrested At Meth Lab

Brandi Favre, younger sister of Brett Favre, was one of five people arrested today at a meth lab in Diamondhead, Mississippi.

Brandi, Miss Teen Mississippi, 1992

This isn’t Brandi’s first trip to the rodeo. She was arrested on a weapons charge associated with a drive-by shooting in 1996 and again for shoplifting in 1999. Big Brother’s website claims Brandi was also Miss Mississippi Teen in 1992, but her name does not appear on the canonical website of Mississippi pageant winners.

Update, Thursday, 1:40 p.m.: Brandi’s bond was set at $40,000 in a hearing today. Charges were manufacturing methamphetamine (or “cooking meth,” as it’s more affectionately called.) and generating hazardous waste. Hancock (Miss.) County Sheriff’s Maj. Matt Karl said that officers are “very familiar” with Favre. “She’s always in trouble.”


This time around, if convicted, Brandi Favre faces up to $1 million in fines and up to 30 years in prison on each count.
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Favre And Jets Sued By Massage Therapists

Brett Favre and the Jets are being sued by two former massage therapists who claim they lost their part-time jobs with the Jets due to complaints they made when skeevy Brett Favre was in hot pursuit. And if you remember correctly, turning Brett down might as well be an invitation for him to start sending you pictures of his little Viking.

But the story goes a little deeper than Brett’s inability to keep his weenis in check, and that’s why the Jets are being included. According to the lawsuit, plaintiffs Cristina Scavo and Shannon O’Toole claim they lost their jobs after lodging complaints about suggestive text messages from Favre. In one case it reached the point where one of the husbands contacted Favre to demand an apology, and for Favre to end his pursuit. According to that guy, Favre blew him off.  Shocker.

When news of this first leaked, the Jets’ massage coordinator, Lisa Ripi, sent a series of e-mails to Scavo expressing her disappointment on how it was handled.

“There are ways to handle things in a professional manner and ways to be compensated not in public …  All this nonsense is unnecessary,” Ripi stated in one e-mail, “For sure feel horrible that u had to go thru that w a pervert … He was wrong on all counts … and we cldve helped u a lot more at that time.”

Don’t worry, Lisa. I’m no lawyer, but I think your e-mails will more than make up for how little help you were then.

It was also reported that Ripi told O’Toole to “keep your mouth shut” and that neither of them would work for the team again.  I mean, you would think these woman would know by now that they’re nothing but the personal play things and toys of the players, and when one of them gets out of line, you extort him privately. Duh.

The source of this sound legal advice, Lisa Ripi, is also an accomplished acupuncturist who spends most of her waking hours sticking needles into 40 different football players from five different teams.  Ripi says she works 96 hours per week and gets most of her sleep on airplanes.  She adds that the players even argue amongst themselves about ”hogging” her services:

“They always tell me I’m their little secret. I feel like the little mouse who takes the thorns out of their feet.”

I guess in Brett’s case, the thorns are about five feet tall and have vaginas.

To me, the problem is much larger than Brett Favre. It’s the well-oiled machine that’s in place to ensure men like Brett get what they want, when they want it. That when this happens to you, this is just how it is and you keep your mouth shut. That way, it can continue to happen forever. Awesome.

The ease with which these women were swept aside by an entire organization because some asshole wanted to get his helmet shined makes me sick to my stomach, and I’m glad to see him go down in flames. His accomplishments with a ball mean nothing to me, and I think his legacy is a small price to pay for the misery he’s caused. Assuming, of course, he’s guilty. Uh huh.

Favre to Retire. Again. Maybe.

Brett Favre retiring again?

Glitch in the matrix… deja vu… heard it all before.

*Yawn.*

I don’t care what Brett Favre does anymore. I’m surprised that Brett Favre cares what Brett Favre does anymore. Maybe he can go back to (allegedly) harassing coworkers without the hassle of going to practice now. The legend has been tainted. I’m sick of this guy.

Favre's first or second retirement: 2008

Please go home this time, Brett. I’ve been writing about you retiring for three years now and I would like to retire from writing about you retiring.

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