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NFL Roundtable: Week Nine

Draft Day Suit week 9

There is far too much agreement happening on these roundtables, but not all the games are unanimous. The one thing we can ALL agree on? We want Ed Hochuli’s job.

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NFL Drunk Tank Welcomes Michael Turner To Its Esteemed Ranks

Turn to the front!

Michael Turner, running back for the Atlanta Falcons, was arrested in Denver after the Monday night game against the Broncos and charged with driving while under the influence.

Insert exasperated sigh here. Read more…

NFC South Preview

drew-brees-sad

Here I go again, making crazy predictions about the NFC South – the division that is closest to my own heart. My prognosticating might not be what you are expecting – for example I am not picking the Saints to win the NFC South like every other person on the internet. I also didn’t pick the Bucs to win despite my deep and true love for Tampa Bay.

Check it.

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Randy Moss Wants to “Unretire”

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Being an NFL player must be the greatest job in the world. I mean, that’s how it seems to me. Why else would players subject themselves to severe physical injury in their 20s and early to mid 30s, retire, and then want to come back? Is it the camaraderie with teammates, the thrill of defeating the competition, the satisfaction of breaking records, the monetary compensation?

It’s probably the money.

Of course, I would say this, as I am not an NFL athlete. Still, it’s the only reason I can come up with for Randy Moss’s announcement, via a live Ustream chat, that he wants to play again in 2012. Moss, who turned 35 on February 13, said in the video, “I wanna play football. Your boy is going to come back here and play some football, so I’m really excited. I had some things I had to adjust in my life.”

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Packers Dismantle Falcons: I’m Going To The Woods Now

I’m writing this because it’s Sunday morning and too early to call my friends and yell while I pound my fist against everything around me.  At the risk of being pulled outside and beaten like the little man that I am by an already angry and disappointed football player, what the fuck was that?

What happened last night in Atlanta was an epic meltdown, on all fronts. The only player that looked like he had his head in the game was Brian Finneran, and while I love Brian Finneran, he can’t take you to a Super Bowl by himself.

The Atlanta defense was… I’m sad. Let me put it this way, 31-36 for 366 yards, 3 TD’s and a rushing score from Aaron Rodgers. And honestly, not too much different than what I expected from him. His yardage totals were similar to their last game, the difference was, Matt Ryan’s insistence on giving the Packers the ball.

Michael Jenkins slipped in the endzone on Matty’s first interception, so I’m going to let that one slide. The killer was the pick-six at the end of the first half that gave the Pack a 2 touchdown league, in addition to them getting the ball back in the second half.  I punched air until… sometime tomorrow… maybe Tuesday.

But this wasn’t just Matt Ryan, this was a total mechanical failure.You can’t blame 48-21 on one man, you have to blame all the men. I think in their minds, they were still on that school bus, heads bobbing, dancing with children, their boss trying to awkwardly keep the beat while they laughed to themselves… Obviously, this young team was simply not ready for the gravity of the situation. They did not show up to play, and that’s sad, because what they displayed last night was nothing like anything they’ve displayed all year.  This was never a game, even when Atlanta had a seven point lead.

Aaron Rodgers ate them like a T-Bone, and Green Bay’s Defense ate Matt Ryan like a loaded baked potato. I’m talking bacon bits, chives… the works. I am soooo hungry. Why do you think that is? Maybe my stomach is mocking my heart, which is now completely empty. Does anyone know what time Outback opens? This is ridiculous. I demand some type of satisfaction. I deserve it after last night. The least they can do is buy me a steak. I’m thinking about suing them.

Whatever. I’ve decided to go live in the woods, so you guys hang tough. Good luck on December 21, 2012, I’ll be rooting for you. Go people. Ra.

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