The day the Giants beat the 49ers in overtime, I was on a plane from Orlando to my hometown in Albany, NY. It was actually my fourth flight of the day and this is where I note that though I was glad that a roundtrip flight to Salt Lake City, Utah only cost $20 I could have gotten to Europe faster.

I made my flight plans in July precisely around the time that the Giants should have been arriving in Albany for summer training camp but were kept away by contract negations and a lock out. But I digress. As the plane hit the 10,000 feet mark and that tell-tale ding went off in the cabin, I watched as passengers to the left, front and back of me hopped on the in-flight wifi. It’s such a first world problem to complain about how slow the Internet was while IN THE AIR but whatever. There we all were hovered over iPads and iPhones painfully watching each down. Some were able to catch the play-by-play on super amazing headphones – I dunno, technology or something – while I squinted and peaked over the shoulders of the men in front of me to make sure they were seeing what I was seeing.

As the plane started to make its final descent and flight attendants went through the cabin to make sure seat backs and tray tables were in their full and upright position, roughly 20 of us remained “watching” the game. Damn the man and the FAA we were flying in blue and red gear and we were going to watch this game right into the end of overtime.

I remain confused by the new overtime rules. Like, physics confused but I knew that when Lawrence Tynes kicked that 31 yard field goal and – I imagined – that ball sailing beautifully that we had it. At 20 to 17 the Giants were going to the Super Bowl. Of course there could be no outcry because we were supposed to be gazing out the windows and waiting for our ears to pop but I tapped the shoulder of the gentleman in front of me and we gave each other a high five.

***

There are people who hate the Giants. Actually there are people who hate all things New York just as I have a difficult time stomaching the Patriots, Celtics and those awful Red Sox. My dislike isn’t because of the way I was raised but because I’ve learned to embrace the rivalry and the game. My father is one of those who hate the Giants. In fact he once told me that he hated Archie Manning and would hate the mother if she played football, too. It’s an Ole Miss thing not just because of the talent or as he would say, “Lack thereof”.

I, on the other hand, have thought about marrying a Manning brother and since 2005 have spent many Sundays arranging my schedule around what time the Giants would be playing. If you were to find me at the end of the season I kind of sit around wondering what to do with myself come 1, 4: 30 and 8PM.

***

When Eli was first drafted to the NFL there was the infamous trade between the Giants and the Chargers. Eli didn’t want to go to San Diego and so he made a fuss and ended up with New York. Since then he’s been called a whiner and a crybaby for his decision. He then took over for the legendary Kurt Warner in 2005 as the starting QB and they have never looked back. When people criticize Eli for not wanting to go to the Chargers and for being immature I shrug and wonder what they expected of a 22 year old? I can understand just graduating from college and not having something work out for you and being bummed. Of course Eli did what he did on a far more public scale but show me one early 20-something who is thrilled with their life right after college and I’ll show you a person who is most likely lying.

Over the last seven years what thrills me most about this Giants team is Eli’s leadership and watching him mature. Thinking of it now I realize it’s because we are roughly the same age (he’s a year younger) but that first job is tough and it takes a lot of crap to make the job your own and to grow into what you do. Two Super Bowl appearances don’t just happen. It requires having a team that works well together and gels. With Eli Manning at the helm this team has done just that. So hate him if you’d like. Hate the Giants. Hate their Super Bowl appearances or that they have ruined perfect seasons but don’t hate what they’ve accomplished over the last several years. I love the Giants not just because I’m a New Yorker but because watching them is like magic and I, for one, cannot wait for this Sunday.

Nope. The Bucs made a five year deal with Greg Schiano.

Who?

Greg Sciano.

Who the hell is Greg Sciano?

Well, I’m glad you asked.

Greg Sciano was the head coach of the Rutgers Scarlet Knights for the last ten years. Before that, he was the defensive coordinator for the University of Miami. Before that, he was an assistant coach for the Bears and Penn State. Before that he was a graduate assistant at Penn State and Rutgers. Before that he had a high school football coaching job. Before that he was a linebacker at Bucknell. Before that he was probably in high school.

And now he is the head coach for my beloved Tampa Bay Buccaneers and we will just pretend I didn’t cringe every time I typed Penn State in that last sentence.

Basically, Ray Rice was all “Woo hoo! Way to go coach!” and I was all “If this gives the Bucs a shot at Ray Rice I am cool with you guys hiring his mom as head coach.” And everybody else was all “Who?”

Ray Rice is a free agent and a total badass and he played for Sciano at Rutgers.

Yes, I know he wants to stay with the Ravens, but a girl can dream, right?

I personally wish Mr. Sciano the best of luck in Tampa and think he should go eat at Mise en Place when he gets there because that place is awesome. I also hope he can bring home a winning season next year, but as a Bucs fan I don’t expect much. It would be a step up if we only lost nine in a row.

After the suspension, Ovi said, nope, not gonna play. No All-Star Game for me.

People are calling him a jerk and a poor sport, and far worse names, as sports commenters will.

Sorry, in the sense that I’m totally not sorry. I happen to think he’s absolutely right.

Yes, I am a lifelong Washington Capitals fan. I am not, however, a blinded Ovechkin supporter. I think his play has been lax for the hype and salary he commands, and I’m not always thrilled with his attitude. I also loved Bruce Boudreau for absolutely no reason other than that he is Bruce Boudreau, emeffers. I think his dismissal from the team was probably due in some way to Ovi’s star power, and I think it was stupid.

But I’ve watched the Michalek hit multiple times, and I don’t think it was suspension worthy.

(I have no data to confirm any of the above hit or coach-firing analysis. I could be completely wrong, but I am not in my own mind. And if you think I am, I don’t care. What do I look like, a hockey scientist? I’m just your average irrational fan.)

My Ovi-cynicism aside, it’s just clear after the past few years that he is a big-name fall guy for enforcers in the NHL. He is a fall guy for the same league that shills him endlessly as one of its superstars. This includes a mostly manufactured rivalry with Sidney Crosby, an admittedly outstanding hockey player who unfortunately can’t even play due to concussion symptoms that are 0bviously serious enough to keep him out of action for more than  a year now.

In Ovi’s interview when he discussed his decision not to play, I actually sort of believed him when he said that he was afraid this reaction to his physical play was going to follow him his whole career. He’s going to keep getting called out for the way he plays hockey — a way he plays hockey that makes him the big name, occasional magic goal player he is. Happy birthday, Gary Bettman, am I right?

So in this case, unlike many others? I say hey, Ovi, refuse to play. Check yourself, if the NHL’s going to. If Tim Tool Time Thomas can embarrass himself by refusing to visit with the president of the United States and people defend him for that? You skip the All-Star game, baby. Rest up. We need you more in the playoffs.

It’s pretty exciting as a fan, as the names put out there as possibilities ranged from “WHO?” to “OH SHIT NO” so, yay for a name I know that previously coached a pretty successful group of guys. The Ravens defense lead the AFC in sacks – 48 – and ranked third in both scoring and total defense. They were a pretty impressive machine to behold whenever they took the field, and as someone who has watched the Dungy Defense crumble, I think he’ll make a welcome addition.

Welcome to Indianapolis. Try the green bean casserole. It’s delicious.

Liz and Katie are my new heroes. The Women’s Football Alliance has over 60 teams that play full-contact football all over the United States. Let’s show young girls that they have options that involve that don’t involve being half naked on television.

His family announced:

It is with great sadness that we announce that Joe Paterno passed away earlier today. His loss leaves a void in our lives that will never be filled. He died as he lived. He fought hard until the end, stayed positive, thought only of others and constantly reminded everyone of how blessed his life had been. His ambitions were far reaching, but he never believed he had to leave this Happy Valley to achieve them. He was a man devoted to his family, his university, his players and his community.

Beloved within the Penn State community, JoePa arrived on campus as assistant coach in 1950, taking over head coaching duties in 1966. He went on to become the winningest college football coach in history.

His tenure came to a disappointing end in November, 2011, when Penn State administration fired him in the fallout from child sex abuse charges against former Assistant Coach Jerry Sandusky. He gave his first post-retirement interview to the Washington Post last week,  stating “shock and sadness” about the Sandusky charges, along with a belief that he did the best he could do within University procedures.

Paterno was not charged with any crime, but was nonetheless held accountable for not reporting the allegations against Sandusky to the police.

I didn’t know exactly how to handle it and I was afraid to do something that might jeopardize what the university procedure was. So I backed away and turned it over to some other people, people I thought would have a little more expertise than I did. It didn’t work out that way.

Paterno was well known for calling PSU football coaching his “Grand Experiment” — a merging of athletics and schoolwork that resulted in “success with honor.”

He is survived by his wife, Suzanne, and five children, all graduates of Penn State.

Anyway, I’ve been bugging him to write stuff for me for a long time now and he did and so I am very happy.  Please welcome Phenom.

- Sarah

Stephen Wesley Thomas, PGA Tour professional, competitor in 44 PGA events and unknown to me until this moment was arrested in a sting executed by the Osceola County Sherrif’s Office in Orlando, FL. Dubbed “Operation Red Cheeks”, the week-long operation snagged 40 men suspected of travelling to meet minors for sex.

I’m not sure if “Operation Red Cheeks” refers to the rosy hue of a child’s innocent face, or the ass of a man who has just been arrested for child molestation. I certainly hope the latter.

The 55 year-old Thomas confessed and was found with two boxes of pudding, condoms, and a bottle of honey. I would add to the equation a large mound of angry fire ants, and the recipe for justice is complete.

Some would argue that stings like this are entrapment, and I would argue shut the fuck up I don’t care. I want to entrap the fuck out of these people. I want to trick them. And as far as I’m concerned, I’d rather every policeman waiting to give me a ticket for speeding be online pretending to be a thirteen year old girl. They can even do it from their cars while they’re waiting to give me a ticket. I don’t fucking care.

This shit is effective, worthwhile and KEEP DOING IT. DO IT MORE. My only complaint is that “Operation Red Cheeks” lasted a week and ended on January 8th. This seems like a 52 week per year operation to me.

In one week, they lured 40 men. I believe the result would be similar each and every week. Again, BRAVO, and… ENCORE. Let’s keep this shit rolling. I’ll even help. I can act thirteen. I do it all the time. I don’t really even need you guys to help. I have a computer. I can rent a hotel room. I have a bat.  And I love pudding.

Source

Photo

Fine, the Beltway is always like that (damn D.C. traffic) but people around here are talking, and they are amped up.

Going totally apeshit is probably a better way to put it.

If you aren’t familiar with Redskins fans, think optimistic, non-violent Eagles fans.

Yeah, it is kind of sad around here. They all seem to hate Dan Snyder but love their team. I admire them for that. I would imagine it is hard to be let down every single season.

Wait – who am I kidding, I’m a Bucs fan, I know it is hard to be let down every single season.

But I digress. Do I know if Peyton Manning is coming to play for the Redskins? No.

I do know that Dan Snyder has a tendency to throw very large sums of money at players who used to be really good and are beyond their prime. He is like that guy on your fantasy team who was still drafting all of the ’99 Rams in 2006, but in real life.

Okay, that analogy works way better when thou accuse your friend of drafting like Dan Snyder, but you know what I mean.

Will Manning even be the same quarterback after surgery and a year off? He may have been the best three years ago, but the man is 36 years old. That is like 70 in football years.

I don’t know how much truth there is to these rumors. It is food for thought, but I will tell you this – I am not leaving my house today. Giddy Redskins fans are creepy.

Well, to be fair, the Giants just did their regular thing, it was Atlanta that I was wrong about. I forgot that they don’t win playoff games.

Two. 2.

WHO SCORES TWO POINTS IN A GAME? This isn’t baseball, Atlanta.

2 points. I know teams get safeties, but usually teams get a safety and then something else – a field goal, a touchdown, what have you, but not the Atlanta Falcons. They got that safety and that was it. Nice offense.

But back to what I was supposed to be saying. Let’s talk about the upcoming divisional games.

Denver at New England

Well, hell. New England is hard to beat in Foxborough, but it is really starting to look like God is on Denver’s side.

That being said I think Belichick might still have THE FORCE.

Nah, New England is still really good on offense. I say the Patriots take this one at home. I say they win by more than a touchdown.

Houston at Baltimore

If Matt Schaub was still in this entire paragraph would read differently, but he isn’t, so I’m taking Baltimore.

Yes, Baltimore is my secret back-up AFC team. Yes I always root for them if they aren’t playing the Bucs, but hear me out. The Ravens are good. Ray Rice is good. They have four starting Pro Bowlers on defense.

Houston had a great year. Houston will be good next year. I don’t think this beat up team can take the fairly healthy Baltimore Ravens.

It will still be a fun game to watch. I suggest watching this game with some nachos.

Mmm. Nachos.

New Orleans at San Francisco

Once again I will pick against San Francisco and once again I will probably lose, but have you seen New Orleans play?  Last week they beat the crap out of a solid Detroit team and this team plays just fine on the road.

The 49ers have had a good year, but I think I know who dat is, and I think it is the New Orleans Saints.

I appreciate their fanaticism, but can we please be done with fauxhawks?

New York Giants at Green Bay

Let’s see, the New York Football Giants had a record of 9-7 during the regular season. They scored a total of 390 points and had 400 points scored against them. The Giants lost to Seattle, Philadelphia, San Francisco, New Orleans, Green Bay and Washington – twice. New York was 4-4 at home, 5-3 on the road, 5-7 in conference.

The Green Bay Packers went 15-1. They have scored  560 points while having only 359 points scored against them. They were perfect at home and in their division. They are the reigning Super Bowl champions, they are pretty healthy and the game on Sunday is at Lambeau Field. In January.

I wish he wouldn't do this, but I guess he has earned the right.

Yeah. I’m taking the Packers.

* * *

Seriously, is anyone who lives outside of the state of Louisiana not thinking that Green Bay repeats this year?

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