Contributors

Commissioner

Sarah, aka Goon Squad Sarah, lives in the Washington D.C. suburbs and spends a lot of time obsessing about the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, the Washington Capitals, fantasy football, and explaining to her seven year old twins why we don’t root for the Redskins in our house. She attended (and graduated from and YES it is an accredited school, Gabe) The University of Central Florida. She was a senior when Daunte Culpepper was a freshman. Shut the hell up – you are old too. Sarah is also a sucker for the Orlando Magic and she is still trying to choose between the Tampa Bay Rays and the Washington Nationals.

If you can’t get enough of Sarah here you can also find her writing at Sarah and the Goon Squad, That’s right. You heard me. BlogHer or a myriad of other sites depending on the day. She also sits on the advisory board of Women Talk Sports.

Coach

Laurie won her first writing award at her Maryland Catholic elementary school - an envelope of two-dollar bills from football-crazy nuns – in the second grade for a poem about the Washington Redskins. She still does not understand downs, so this just proves that she will write just about anything for the promise of money and minor glory. Try her.

(Those nuns were from Philly so the fact that that they were rooting for the Redskins now makes the least sense of almost anything in the world.)

A hockey and college basketball freak, fourth-generation Washingtonian and University of Maryland, College Park, alum she came late to sports obsession but grew up with George Michael on the tv and has her grandmother, father and uncles to thank for her currently obnoxious behavior during Capitals and Terps basketball games. She both laments and rejoices in the knowledge that once this has started, it will never stop, amen.

Her other interests include the WNBA, Dayton basketball (Go Flyers!,) tailgating, Capitals first-period goals, three-pointers and beer. She dislikes any former Patrick Division team, (especially the Pittsburgh Penguins and Philadelphia Flyers) overtime any time and serial retirers. She will someday have Capitals season tickets, attend an NFL game, and understand downs.

Other writing happens at LaurieWrites and BlogHer. She still lives in – and loves – Maryland.

Team Roster

Clumberkim

ClumberKim is a sports geek. The die was cast early, by age 8, when Kim told anyone who would listen that she wanted to be the Boston Bruins statistician when she grew up. She could rattle off the roster by number, position, or hometown.

Her sports interests are diverse, ranging from figure skating to football. She loves to watch golf, read books about golf, and trash talk golf, but she has never swung a club. The Fantasia Gardens course at Disney World doesn’t count. Her participation in sports is limited to tennis in high school, rugby in college (where she excelled in the third half), and pitching endlessly to her baseball-loving son.

She has never forgiven her family for not taking her to game 7 of the 1975 World Series. To add insult to injury, she was in college with a bunch of Met fans from Brooklyn in 1986. Her first whiff of weed was in the bleachers at Fenway Park. She did not inhale.

Kim lives in Pittsburgh, the City of Champions.

Flutter

Christine is a hockey whore. She proclaims her love of ice skating men, maybe even Brian Boitano, at every opportunity. Christine is also known as flutter likes to harass people on Facebook and twitter.

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Gidge

I am a transplanted Hoosier who resides in the Atlanta metro area. I’m a die hard Colts fan and as far as I’m concerned you aren’t a fan unless you suffered through Jeff George as a quarterback. I’ll give you a pass if you weren’t born yet, but mostly if you weren’t standing beside the highway cheering the Mayflower trucks into town on the night we stole that team, well then you aren’t a fan. Additionally I think that wearing a pink jersey is a brilliant way to pwn an opposing team’s player. If you pick your fantasy team based on uniform color or a players “Hot Butt” – well I’m sorry you may not sit with me during games.
I only speak dead languages fluently and I like to wear things that make no sense.

Headless Mom aka Kendra

Kendra, or Headless Mom as she’s known around the interwebs, has been a sports fan for as long as she can remember and comes by it honestly. Her grandmother was never far from her tv or radio with the play-by-play on, and her mother seems to prefer sports talk radio to cooking dinner. Kendra loves football the most, but certainly has an opinion about (almost) all sports out there. She loved tennis until her (fake) husband, Boris Becker, retired. Getting cable so she could watch ESPN was the only condition that she had before moving in with her current (and only real) husband, Headless Dad. He is currently a Golf Channel addict. Their three Headless children are currently being brainwashed by their mother to hail all things gridiron. She also writes about her life at The Adventures of the Headless Family.

Kristabella

Kristin, who also answers to Kristabella or “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. She honed her drinking skills as a student at Arizona State and is proud to be one of the few people who not only graduated from ASU, but graduated in four years. After working in the sports information office at ASU, which included a Rose Bowl appearance and a point-shaving scandal, Kristin landed a job with the San Francisco 49ers and spent six years living out a life-long fantasy of working in professional sports and getting sexually harassed every day. She now lives in Chicago and yells at athletes through the TV set. They can totally hear her.

You can read her other inane ramblings at her personal blog, Kristabella: Full of Snark Since 1977, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.

Pseudostoops

Katie (aka pseudostoops) has come a long way since the days when she often struck out at kickball during recess. She is a lifelong Chicago sports fan, and has somehow managed to converted her LA-transplant husband to support the Bears, Cubs, and Blackhawks. A Stanford grad, she loves Pac-10 sports (except USC, because seriously, who loves USC?) and is very sad that Pac-10 can’t be found more often on tv in Chicago. In addition to watching a lot of sports, she works a day job as a lawyer and bakes a lot of cookies.

Mayopie

Clay is sure the Mayans have it all wrong and that Bruce Lee will actually resurrect in 2012, bringing peace via the impending threat of an almighty tiger claw from the heavens. It’s all in “The New Bible” which Clay is currently writing with a group of imaginary friends he calls his “Aposse.” Clay is in advertising where he convinces people to buy things. Watch this: The New Bible. If you don’t buy it, you’ll probably die.

Roger

Roger is some guy who sometimes writes about the sports as it pertains to him and him alone.

You can also find Roger at Marginally Clever.

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TJ

TJ aka Studio816 is a Kansas City native that believes that the Royals WILL win World Series before he dies. In fact, not only will they win the World Series, they will do it the same year the Chiefs win a second Super Bowl trophy. So, look out world. 2067 is going to be one wild year for Kansas City sports fans. In his free time, TJ is a father of two, a photographer, a writing fool, and a full time Big 12 apologist. You can catch his other musings at MamaPop, How To Eat, and StudioEightOneSix. Do you still need more? Well, he abuses Twitter (@studio816) like it owes him money.

Tricia

Tricia was raised as a Dodgers fan and somehow married into a Yankee loving household. Sacrilege she knows, her dad doesn’t understand it either. After moving to Seattle she decided to raise her two boys as Mariners fans. When in Rome and all that jazz. During college basketball season she bleeds red and blue for the Arizona Wildcats and hates Duke with a passion.

Tricia is pretty good at most sports, but she’s not great at all of them. She has her dad to thank for her love of sports. Her dad encouraged sports play and lived by the mantra, “If you can touch it, you can catch it.” She ended up with a lot of bloody noses. He also said that almost every problem could be solved with a “stick with a hook” and that’s pretty much true, so these are the things she tries to live by. Bloody nose or no.

Uncle Crappy

Uncle Crappy may live in Pittsburgh, but he grew up in Columbus. He attended his first Ohio State football game in 1973 and the experience pretty much ruined him for life; he’s now a season ticket holder and has spent years torturing himself with endless cycles of angst and ecstasy that come with being a serious college football fan. He’s willing to torture others as well, with post after post about the beauty of tailback iso plays run under slate-gray November skies.

Being an Ohio guy has been, uh, helpful in other facets of his sports fandom as well. He loves the Cleveland Indians and he’ll even publicly admit to being a Cleveland Browns fan, which means he spends a lot of time trying to convince the Stillers fans who surround him that the NFL actually existed prior to the appearance of Chuck Knoll and Terry Bradshaw in Pittsburgh.

He hasn’t resisted all the charms of his home city, though — he’s loved the Penguins for decades and he even likes the Pirates, in an “aww, isn’t that cute” kind of way.

Uncle Crappy writes about Ohio State football and tailgating at killernutstailgating.com and everything else at unclecrappy.com. He also writes about tech stuff, transportation, craft beer and other things at a Pittsburgh-area newspaper.

Mighty-Hunter

Mighty Hunter’s first sports love is football (of the pads and oblong spheroid variety), a love which he unashamedly admits was first germinated while he played trumpet in his high school and college marching bands. Since then his love of sport has grown and branched off in interesting and confusing ways, such that if he were to list the teams he roots for, you might think he was a little unhinged. Examples include, but are not limited to, Seattle Seahawks, Kansas City Chiefs, and Jacksonville Jaguars (NFL); New Jersey Devils and Vancouver Canucks (NHL); Penn State Nittany Lions (NCAA football); Duke Blue Devils (NCAA basketball); Seattle Sounders FC (MLS); Celtic FC (Scottish Premier League); and FC Bayern München (Deutsche Bundesliga). Baseball and professional basketball do not make the list; he believes that baseball is three hours wasted (until the playoffs finally roll around), while he might like professional basketball more if there was less showboating, LeBron James, Kobe Bryant, and LA Lakers in general involved.
Note: If there’s a sports team in Los Angeles, he automatically hates it. He’s just wired that way.

Logo Genius

The Kaiser

Logo designer and all around badass.