After scoring a touchdown against the Jets on Sunday, Stevie Johnson chose to celebrate with an award-winning performance (Mayo Pie award for most awesome touchdown dance ever) mimicking Plaxico Burress trying to remove a gun from his pocket and shooting himself in the leg. Some would call this move classless and sophomoric, and these are not fun people.

Let’s put this in perspective: A rich football player walks into a bar carrying a gun in his pocket. Not only is it illegal to have the gun, but especially to have it concealed. Since he’s a celebrity football player, he felt he needed the gun for protection. Because as we know, giant super athletes with posses who can crush most men aren’t safe in swanky nightclubs.

While fumbling in his pockets, Burress shot himself in the leg with the very thing intended to prevent him from getting shot. In my opinion, that is wonderful irony that can only be accurately protrayed in a tasteful touchdown celebration performed by one of his peers.

When Burress was asked about the fine, he simply said about Johnson, “He can pay it.” And he can. Easily and happily. So what’s the point? What’s the lesson? I don’t know, but it seems a meaningless punishment that won’t disuade the behavior. It’s like a $10,000 practical joke, and considering the additional publicity and personal satisfaction he garnered, well worth the money.

What am I saying? I don’t know. That shit was funny and I don’t feel bad for Plaxico Burress or get all weepy that his delicate sensibilities were offended. It’s not like he was mugged or victimized. He was breaking the law, carrying a gun in an unsafe, moronic way, and likely consuming alcohol. This is a catastrophe waiting to happen, and it did. He lived, was punished a little harshly (in my opinion) and the story lives on through interpretive dance. I love it.

Was what Stevie Johnson did classy? No. I’ve long stopped expecting class from the NFL. An example of that would be at least five guys cheating on every play. Is that classy? Is illegally videotaping opposing teams’ signals classy? Is grabbing a man by his facemask and trying to remove his head classy? Stomping on a man when he’s on the ground? Sending unsolicited pictures of your unimpressive penis to team employees? Classy? Whatever. If you want class, watch golf. Oh… wait. Not golf. Ummm…. curling? Or that one where they ski and shoot stuff. They look classy.

Source

Photo

So sayeth a large group of bullies on the Neepawa Natives, a team in the Manitoba Junior Hockey League. The captain and three assistant captains of the team wanted to “rate on the ability to endure trial”, by making rookies participate in sexy dance-offs which included stripping. Because he did not score well in the dance-off, the 15-year-old boy had to undergo another ritual — which the team referred to as “Tug” — in which he was held down while a water bottle carrier, loaded with bottles and towels, was tied to his scrotum with a string.

The league hit the team with a $5000 fine and suspended the offending players (16 in all) from anywhere from 1-5 games.

However, when the water bottle incident became public, the 15 year old was forced to apologize to his teammates and was told by his coaches to “take some time off” from playing.

The victim has currently missed 7 games, 2 more games than the maximum suspension for the offenders.

How is that fair?

The Neepawa Natives coach, Bryant Perrier doesn’t seem to give a rat’s ass, given his very flip and defensive comments. He refused to talk about the investigation, but said the following:

“The league’s done the investigation, the people have been interviewed, the players have been interviewed, everything’s been done,” Perrier told The Canadian Press. ”They did an investigation. You want to do a second investigation? This isn’t the O.J. Simpson trial.”

The hockey league suspended Perrier for two games, not because he took part, but because it was his responsibility to know what was happening.

“I know you want news, but people got to be careful here, because there’s lawyers being hired right in the process, so if something gets said that’s not correct, we’re just telling people, like, there’s going to be legalities in place,” Perrier said. ”If people want to dig around, they’ve got to be careful because if people start digging too much and they start making up false accusations, then it’s defamation of character.”

Maybe he will round up people who are making false accusations and tie water bottles to their scrotes.

Source

imgsource

proving that sometimes you really do need more than 140 characters. What he really meant was:

As much as I appreciate the apology as a fan, this looks like one heck of an accident.

An accident reminiscent of Andrew Ference’s wardrobe malfunction, perhaps.

Now, being the parent of a seven year old boy who is growing quickly, I can appreciate that sometimes people don’t know where all of their limbs are at all times. HOWEVER.

This looks like an on purpose.

(No, it is not making this face.)

Well, there is a story I want to read.

First of all, I am a sucker for a good player arrest. Second of all, I like Sebasian Janikowski’s arrests because besides the DUI, he was once charged with bribery and felony possession of GHB. These aren’t your run of the mill NFL crimes. This is no concealed weapons charge. He almost got deported for the GHB thing.

Now he is accused of false imprisonment, an accusation that puts the bribery charge to shame!

He (allegedly) falsely imprisoned a woman. Who does that? That is a messed up crime, even for a kicker. Even for an Oakland Raider!

It is like he read a pamphlet on weird things to do wrong. Next Janikowski will be tying cows to parking meters or hunting whales without a permit.

The Raiders CEO says it is old news. I say to Amy Trask that doesn’t make it any less funny.

Mr. Janikowski has also been arrested for bar fights and underage possession of alcohol.

[photo: Doug Benc]

Ramirez retired from Major League Baseball just five games in to his last season as a Ray after a positive drug test. This followed a 50 game suspension while with the Los Angeles Dodgers during the 2009 season. Ramirez is perhaps best known for helping the Boston Red Sox win two World Series titles in 2004 and 2007

The phrase “Manny being Manny” isn’t going to hold any sway in a court of law, I’m afraid.

Image: courtesy Broward County Sheriff’s Office

Reports indicate that Crittenton fired shots from a sport-utility vehicle, perhaps intended to hit two men walking with Jones, as retaliation for an April robbery. Jones was struck in the leg, and died in surgery.

There is a warrant for Crittenton’s arrest, but he has not turned himself in. He was reportedly in “the L.A. area” over the weekend, and the FBI is assisting with the case.

While still a Wizard, Crittenton was involved in a firearm dispute with teammate Gilbert Arenas. Crittenton went to court on the related misdemeanor gun charge, and both were suspended for the rest of the season. Crittenton tried to start over with the Charlotte Bobcats, but they released him last October after two weeks, with no room for another point guard.

Arenas tweeted and deleted the following this weekend:

“I really wanna say sumthing but I wont becuz theirs a dead women involved…”

Good call, Gilbert.

Following his issues with the Wizards, Crittenton seemed in the right spot to turn things around. Plagued by ankle injuries, he landed with the Dakota Wizards in the NBA Development League. Last October, he said:

Use wisdom in everything and just don’t get caught up in foolishness and nonsense and crazy people around you. It was a bad decision on both ends and we’re trying to move forward with our careers and our lives.

Shooting to injure or kill never makes any sense, and even less when a guy with talent and opportunity chooses actions like this. Whatever the reasons may be, none of them are good. If Javaris Crittenton is responsible for the death of this woman, it’s a shame that he chose the opposite of wisdom. He really didn’t need to do that.

Jacory Harris and Robert Marve have a lot in common.

They both were standout high school quarterbacks in Florida, and both were heavily recruited by the Miami Hurricanes. Harris stayed, and, at least on paper, is the likely favorite to start for Miami this fall, in his senior season. Marve and Harris competed for playing time in 2008, with Marve earning most of the starts before leaving Miami and transferring to Purdue after developing a poor relationship with then-coach Randy Shannon.

Oh, there’s one other thing — both were implicated by Miami booster Nevin Shapiro as having accepted improper benefits from Shapiro.

Similarities? Yep. But here’ s one thing they don’t have in common: Only Harris has the NCAA (presumably) breathing down his neck.

Dennis Dodd, senior writer for CBSSports.com, revealed on Monday an interesting thing about the investigation into the Miami scandal — players who were implicated by Shapiro but left the Hurricanes aren’t being pursued by the NCAA, for a couple of reasons. First, NCAA investigators have been given, at least in this instance, the ability to apply “limited immunity” to those who were named by Shapiro but have moved on, in order to gain more information about Shapiro’s activities. And second, those players likely wouldn’t be pursued by the NCAA because, as an NCAA enforcement official said, “prospects who take extra benefits at one school but sign with another are not pursued unless they are receiving those benefits from an agent. ”

Come again?

Let’s take a quick look at what Shapiro said about Marve, who apparently isn’t in trouble, and Harris, who is apparently one of the 15 current Miami players being investigated, according to the Yahoo! Sports investigation released last week:

Shapiro said Harris visited his mansion several times, accepting food and drinks at the Miami Beach palace; Harris also participated in a pool tournament — with cash prizes provided by the booster — at the home. He also said Harris took advantage of Shapiro-provided VIP access to Miami nightclubs.

Marve also accepted VIP access at Miami clubs, Shapiro said, and made multiple visits to the booster’s home. But Marve’s case, Shapiro said, went further. The young quarterback accepted at least one cash payment, meals at tony steakhouses and, apparently because he was having trouble with his girlfriend at the time, VIP visits to south Florida strip clubs.

I know, I know — a violation is a violation is a violation. But it seems odd that only one of these guys — the one who didn’t take part in quite as much bad stuff, according to the accuser — would have concerns about his eligibility while the other — the one who’s no longer that Miami — has none.

If you read Dodd’s story, you’ll find a one explanation that seems to almost make sense — the NCAA doesn’t target recruits who end up attending schools other than the one where the violations occurred (unless an agent is involved); the presumption is that the recruit — and his family — don’t know better, while the school should. I’m a little skeptical about this one; are there really blue-chip high school football players who don’t have a basic understanding of what the NCAA considers to be improper benefits these days?

And I also get what the NCAA is doing in this case. The application of limited immunity — something that Dodd reported is used infrequently — is how the NCAA will build a case on something other than the word of a convicted felon as it reaches for its real targets here — the University of Miami and, in my mind, the Hurricanes’ former AD Paul Dee, who made a mess of righteously indignant statements about USC’s NCAA violations while serving as chairman of the NCAA’s infractions committee — while also not noticing Shapiro as he allegedly ran amok in his athletics department. The players — in danger or not — are pawns as the NCAA chases its real prey.

If I’m Robert Marve, I’m relieved. But if I’m Jacory Harris, I’m pissed.

Photo sources.

As usual, the Bay Area fans ruin it for everybody.

This is why Oakland can’t have nice things.

Word on the internet is that someone wearing a “Fuck the Niners” shirt started the ruckus.

Aren’t these t-shirt designs just charming?

Listen, it isn’t that I don’t want to cause bodily harm to people who wear St. Louis Rams paraphernalia, it is just that I know better. I never take guns to tailgate parties either. I usually just bring beer and bratwurst. Sometimes chips. It almost seems like you would have to have aggravated assault in mind to pack up a bag of ice, buns, beer and your gun.

It wasn’t just the shootings, there was an unusual amount of violence in the stands – even by the standards of Philadelphia sports fans. San Francisco authorities are trying to make sure there are no 49er/Raider games in 2012.

While I understand the sentiment, if we can make that kind of request I would like to propose that in 2012 the Buccaneers don’t play the Steelers, Saints, Colts or anyone who finishes the 2011-2012 season with a record that is 10-6 or better.

*curtsy*

Civically, I think that both of these restrictions will protect fans in Northern California, but globally it sets a weird precedent. Why should everyone else be punished when a handful of people can’t control themselves?

What do you think?

I have not yet picked my mouth up off the floor after the explosive Yahoo story broke regarding  the University of Miami and former booster Nevin Shapiro.

Let’s be clear, people, near or at the center of this brouhaha lies Paul Dee, who was AD at Miami during most of the years that Shapiro was doling out money, gifts, prostitutes, booze, abortions, and crash pads at his beachfront mansion and million dollar yachFor Trojan fans and alumni this situation is nothing short of Dee-lightful, Dee-licious,  and Dee-lectable.  Why?

Paul Dee was the head of the NCAA Committee on Infractions during the USC hearings.

Let’s clarify for a moment, friends.

USC’s football case was about one person: Reggie Bush

USC’s basketball case was about one person: OJ Mayo

Miami’s case involves 72 players over nearly a decade of willful disregard for NCAA rules.

So, to quote the inimitable Alanis Morrisette: “Isn’t it ironic, don’t you think?”

Isn’t it ironic that Paul Dee was the Athletic Director of Miami during what NCAA investigators have called the worst violation of the rules they  have ever seen?

A sidebar for a moment: Both the Reggie Bush and OJ Mayo issues at USC involved agents trying to lure their patronage once these vaunted players went pro. This, I, and many other pundits, remain is NOT A COMPETITIVE ADVANTAGE.

Miami, on the watch of Paul Dee, on the other hand, is involved in an eight year, 72 (by Shapiro’s count, 73 by the NCAA’s) booster pay-for-play scandal that involved all the blithely aforementioned activities as well as BONUSES FOR BOUNTIES on competition such as Florida quarterback Tim Tebow and a three year standing bounty on Florida State quarterback Chris Rix.

Digest that for a moment.

Oh wait, one more Paul Dee tidbit.  Dee is the biggest hypocrite in sports in recent memory, if not ever.   The eight year reign of Nevin Shapiro’s pay-for-play scandal, which involved so many violations it is staggering and hits the NCAA’s BIG LIST, apparently flew under big Paul Dee’s radar as he was he quoted by the newspaper in Palm Beach as saying:

“We didn’t have any suspicion that he was doing anything like this,” said Dee, UM’s athletic director from 1993 to 2008. “He didn’t do anything to cause concern.”

Trojan nation, I feel you, the hypocrisy is STAGGERING.  As SI.com’s Stewart Mandel said:

“Still, it seems only fair he should spend a day at USC’s Heritage Hall wearing a sandwich board with the word “Hypocrite.””

Oh sorry, yet one more Paul Dee tidbit – he took  willful flaunting of the rules to new levels, after all. This eight year scandal qualifies for repeat offender status as Dee was AD at Miami during the Pell Grant scandal of the 1990s.

Now, consider the fact that Paul Dee sat in judgement of USC when they presented their case for leniency before the NCAA in the matter of Reggie Bush.  USC’s now much mocked defense was that we (loosely) “did not know, could not be expected to know.”

I KNOW! Go punch a wall, I will wait, I’ve stocked up on wine and trust me, every expletive that can be uttered has been in my house in the last 24 hours.

Shall we revist the things Paul Dee said about USC? I mean, why not pour salt in our wounds at this point, right? In light of this info, this shit almost feels good.

Dee, who famously sat on the NCAA’s Committee on Infractions WHILE THIS WAS HAPPENING AT MIAMI famously told USC that even though the extra benefits a wannabe sports agent paid to Reggie Bush’s family happened in San Diego, some 130 miles from campus, USC “should have known” it was happening.

Go read the YAHOO investigative report if you haven’t. Read about how blatant Shapiro’s support of Miami football and basketball players was right under Dee and University President Donna Shalala’s noses. Read about how Shapiro got into a physical fight with the U’s director of compliance in the press box at a Miami football game and still Dee & Co. claim they did not know.  Read about how he paid for Devin Hester’s girlfriend’s engagement ring, how he got the stripper another player got pregnant an abortion, how he made his home and his yacht available for parties and provided cars and clothes and cash and VIP club access and…

Paul Dee stated that the USC case was “three feet high” – referring to how high the evidence would stack if you laid all the paperwork up into a pile.

Well now. If ever there was a more pitch perfect case of  “eating crow” I have never, in my entire life, been witness to it before now. Because the evidence against Dee, “U” president Donna Shalala, numerous coaches both with and no longer with Miami and, well, 72-73 players might actually be able to be laid end to end and stretch from the Coral Gables campus of  the University of Miami to the downtown Los Angeles campus of the University of Southern California.

And that, my friends, is way more than “Three feet high.”

My kids have been involved in sports of some sort for the past 13 years or so, so I feel like I know a little about this.

To Parents, Coaches, and other League Officers and Volunteers:

KEEP THE DRAMA OFF OF THE FIELD. We are here for our kids to learn. We are here for our kids to have fun. If you can’t keep the drama to yourself, then don’t come around. The kids don’t need to hear it. It’s a bad example that they shouldn’t be following.

That is all.

Kendra has had it. Could you tell?

photo