Draft Day Suit

About halfway through the men’s Olympic ice skating short program, my husband looked up from his laptop and said, “This is so subjective it’s not even funny.”

At the time, I argued that it wasn’t as subjective as he thought, since clearly the skaters are rated on required elements that definitely have a proper way to be performed. After a few days of thought, I concede that figure skating is quite subjective in comparison to many of the other winter sports. There’s not much need for opinion in speedskating or cross-country skiing, for instance. Apolo Ohno either crosses the line first or he doesn’t; Johnny Spillane either lays down the second-best finishing time or he doesn’t. This subjectivity combined with the new scoring system can make it hard for the average viewer to figure out what’s going on with the judging. I’m still trying to figure out how Johnny Weir placed behind both Patrick Chan and Stephane Lambiel.

I find I’m not much for the frippery and froufery of skating. Wave your arms around as gracefully as you want and bedazzle your shirt to within an inch of its life if you please, but I’m still going to find that I want to watch the jumpers and spinners. That said, I admit a little bit of presentation is really necessary. The guys who are only good jumpers do as little for me as the ones who are graceful as all get out but can’t land a lutz. My favorite skaters this year were France’s Florent Amodio and the Japanese trio of Daisuke Takahashi, Nobunari Oda, and Takahiko Kozuka. All four are compact, speedy jumpers with just the right amount of showmanship.

Of course, the big story now that it’s all over is silver medalist Evgeny Plushenko’s less-than-gracious behavior toward gold medalist Evan Lysacek. Now, there’s no doubt that Plushenko is one of the best jumpers in the sport, maybe even the best. He lands a quadruple toe loop in combination, which no other competitor did during this Olympics. Apparently Plushenko has complained that Lysacek won on artistic rather than athletic merits. Surprisingly, even though Lysacek’s program was much more fluid and heartfelt, the two contenders earned identical artistic marks in the long program.

To my admittedly untrained eye, it seemed clear that Lysacek skated a superior program on the final night. His jumps were spot-on, his footwork and spins were precise, and he skated with passion. Plushenko, on the other hand, executed his jumps but didn’t seem to infuse his routine with any joy at all. Granted, there’s probably no mark for enthusiasm, but let’s be honest. In figure skating, showmanship counts nearly as much as being able to land a triple flip. If you go out onto the ice and skate like the medal is owed to you, don’t be surprised when it’s given to someone who skated instead like he wanted to win it on his own terms. For all his impressive and well-earned victories of the past, Plushenko showed a sad and distinct lack of sportsmanship in Vancouver – and that was before he awarded himself a platinum medal.

If he does skate for gold again at the 2014 Games, let’s hope he brings a bit more humility and fire to the ice.

Velocibadgergirl’s skating experience is limited to doing a lot of rollerblading in middle school, being able to skate carefully around and around on an ice rink without falling down, and watching several Olympics’ worth of figure skating competitions (bouts? matches?). She lives in the Midwest with her husband, baby son, and handsome dog, and blogs at Pardon the Egg Salad.

Two things about this post before I get into it:

1) Yes, I know. What Super Bowl? The Olympics are starting today. Live in the now! And

2) It probably says something about me that this is the second post in so many weeks that I have written about someone in the NFL using some form of the F word. It’s a good word and applicable to many situations. What’s not to like?

Nonetheless, this is a pretty funny story that I know is helping me to chuckle through this weekend’s forecast (shocker: snow).

During a post-win interview with New Orleans radio station WWL, a reporter asked Saints’ offensive lineman Carl Nicks how he felt about defeating the Indianapolis Colts and adding the first ever Lombardi trophy to the Saints’ mantle.

Nicks was, understandably, ebullient and apparently not paying too careful attention to what was coming out of his mouth and whether or not it was kosher.

I haven’t heard anything about Nicks receiving any punishment for his blunder as it was pretty extraordinary circumstances. But I hope he does go to Disneyland and I hope he has a perfectly G-rated good time.

Man. Everything in professional sports is expensive. The water bottles are worth $25,000. And the going rate for middle fingers is apparently twice that, judging from the fine that was handed down to New York Jets coach Rex Ryan when he gleefully flipped the bird at a fan during a mixed martial arts event last weekend.

In a more innocent, less technologically connected time, such an incident would have simply passed into the ether of legend. But, of course, Ryan’s digit quickly spread all over the internet and resulted in a significant fine. The Jets, however, will not punish Ryan further.

With both this and the LeBron James incident, I understand why the fines were so high. The professional leagues have pretty narrow definitions of personal conduct and while they don’t always prevent jackass behavior, the low tolerance is a good policy and, in a perfect world, encourages low-key decorum…off the field or court at least.

$50,000 is a lot but I think gets the point across and ending the punishment there seems pretty reasonable.

Now we just need to question Ryan’s attendance at an MMA event. Those things aren’t exactly gentlemanly.

If you’d like to see what a $50,000 finger looks like, you can view it after the jump. Send the kids out of the room so that they’re not blinded by the sheer blinginess of it.
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Not to support bad sportsmanship or anything, but doesn’t $25,000 seem like a steep penalty for kicking a water bottle? I think it seems insane, but LeBron James is the guy that got stuck with the fine.

$25,000. That is the approximate value of a Ford F-150.

Now I’m not saying that LeBron James can’t afford it. I am certain that he can. Hell, he might have that much cash on his person, but it is still far too strict a punishment for kicking a bottle of water – especially one that didn’t take out somebody’s eye.

Your discipline system is way out of whack, NBA.

Yes, it was poor sportsmanship. Yes, it was immature. No, players should not be able to get away with childish tantrums on the court, but come on! $25,000? You could buy 50 iPads with that.

Other things you can buy with $25,000:

a mini Cooper

10 Shots of Louis XIII Black Pearl Cognac

@drew on Twitter

a ticket to see Lady Gaga on New Years Eve

100 Canon EF-S 55-250mm f/4.0-5.6 IS Telephoto Zoom Lenses

Although I cannot imagine what someone would do with 100 telephoto zoom lenses. Hopefully give them to your 100 closest friends or favorite sports bloggers .

*bats eyelashes*

What was I even talking about?

Oh right! This.

I just see $25,000 as too high a price to pay for being a big baby.

Maybe he could just apologize to the guys with the really good seats who got wet.

Or maybe the NBA could capitalize on this and make a killing selling ponchos at Cavaliers games. You know, like they do at Gallagher shows.

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