So sayeth a large group of bullies on the Neepawa Natives, a team in the Manitoba Junior Hockey League. The captain and three assistant captains of the team wanted to “rate on the ability to endure trial”, by making rookies participate in sexy dance-offs which included stripping. Because he did not score well in the dance-off, the 15-year-old boy had to undergo another ritual — which the team referred to as “Tug” — in which he was held down while a water bottle carrier, loaded with bottles and towels, was tied to his scrotum with a string.

The league hit the team with a $5000 fine and suspended the offending players (16 in all) from anywhere from 1-5 games.

However, when the water bottle incident became public, the 15 year old was forced to apologize to his teammates and was told by his coaches to “take some time off” from playing.

The victim has currently missed 7 games, 2 more games than the maximum suspension for the offenders.

How is that fair?

The Neepawa Natives coach, Bryant Perrier doesn’t seem to give a rat’s ass, given his very flip and defensive comments. He refused to talk about the investigation, but said the following:

“The league’s done the investigation, the people have been interviewed, the players have been interviewed, everything’s been done,” Perrier told The Canadian Press. ”They did an investigation. You want to do a second investigation? This isn’t the O.J. Simpson trial.”

The hockey league suspended Perrier for two games, not because he took part, but because it was his responsibility to know what was happening.

“I know you want news, but people got to be careful here, because there’s lawyers being hired right in the process, so if something gets said that’s not correct, we’re just telling people, like, there’s going to be legalities in place,” Perrier said. ”If people want to dig around, they’ve got to be careful because if people start digging too much and they start making up false accusations, then it’s defamation of character.”

Maybe he will round up people who are making false accusations and tie water bottles to their scrotes.

Source

imgsource

Everything seemed to be going great for Jacksonville Jaguar quarterback David Garrard on Tuesday. The Chamber of Commerce business people greeted him with cheers. He  met, he mingled, he even got a big hug from team mascot Jaxon de Ville. And, then, just like that it was all over. David, and his very expensive contract, were released from the team.

Jaguar’s head coach Jack Del Rio said, “We were hoping for some sign of life, for him to pick it up and get it going, and we went to the 11th hour in hopes of having that happen, and it just became very obvious that it wasn’t going to happen.”

The release came as a total shock to David and his agent, who said they will move on and focus on finding a new team.

The Jaguars will put the ball in young quarterback Luke McCown’s hand in their opener. McCown has a career record of 1 – 6 and has thrown 9 touchdown passes with 10 interceptions.

Los Angeles has been without a pro football team since 1994 when the Raiders moved back to Oakland and the Rams left for St. Louis. While an environmental impact report will still take about 8 months to complete, this is as far as any group has gotten on a new stadium deal in recent history. The Council said that it expects for the project to give a huge boost to the LA economy. AEG, the development group that will back the project, says it will not require any public funds. The stadium, and moving an existing portion of the Los Angeles Convention Center, is projected to cost 1.2 billion dollars.

Ed Roski and the Majestic Realty Company is still attempting to go forward with plans for a stadium in the City of Industry, a location east of the downtown area.

If approved the stadium in the downtown/convention center location is projected to be completed by the start of the 2016 season. Of course this raises the question of which team will move to LA? The top contenders seem to be:

• The San Diego Chargers-While San Diego got behind the development of Petco Stadium, it seems to be dragging its feet on fixing up the football digs. Qualcomm Stadium is not in the best shape, the city is strapped for cash and seemingly unwilling to help out, or dump money into a sinking ship. The move to LA could retain fans, give them a new venue in the near future. Their current lease with the city and terms of ownership between current Chargers owners and AEG seem to be the only unknowns.
• The Oakland Raiders-Having the Raiders back in LA would suck even though their current stadium lease looks to be less of a stumbling block than other teams. Less likely? Please, God, no.
• The Jacksonville Jaguars, St. Louis Rams, Minnesota Vikings- These 3 teams, while their names keep coming up, seem to be unlikely because, again, the lease agreements with the stadiums/cities that they are in are difficult to get out of in the time frame that may be needed for the LA agreement.

While the NFL coming to Los Angeles is still a few years out, Tuesday’s agreement is getting the ball rolling in that direction, and that is good news for Angelenos who have been waiting, impatiently, for almost 20 years.

Kendra wants the Chargers to move to LA… only so she can go see her beloved Broncos a little more often.

source source

Image: Luxist

Los Angeles police announced Sunday that there were also other individuals being detained from the raid for questioning. There are at least 17 detectives assigned to the case that has a reward of over $200,000.

Stow, who has been in a coma since the March 31 attack after a game at Dodger Stadium, was recently moved to San Fransisco General Hospital and Trauma Center to be closer to his family that lives in Santa Cruz, CA. His children have not seen him since the attack.

Doctors, and Stow’s mother and wife are reporting that he is showing positive signs of recovery, such as opening his eyes and some arm and leg movements.

UPDATED, Sunday afternoon, 4pm news conference:

LA Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa opened the conference saying that the LAPD served 2 warrants on an apartment in Hollywood this morning.

The tip that led to this arrest came from a parole officer. LA Police Chief Beck indicated that the suspect that was arrested was suspect #1 on the official flyer, with a mark on his face. [The drawing on the left.]

LA Councilman Ed Reyes had this to say to the remaining suspects:

“We will identify you and we will bring you in…let’s end this. And to the woman who was driving, you need to turn yourself in.”

Kendra is following the Stow story for Draft Day Suit.

source source

I couldn’t do it by myself against that team. I apologize for the way it happened, but I knew this opportunity was once in a lifetime.

LeBron was light on the specifics. I venture what LeBron meant to say was he was sorry it wasn’t easy. He’s sorry that he had to work for it. That he needed to get better at mid-range jumpers. That his defense had to improve. That he had to pass to guys who could potentially miss. He’s sorry that he never tried to bring anyone to the team. That he refused to commit to the franchise for more than a
few years at time thereby putting them in perpetual “win now” mode and crippling any chance at long-term stability. He’s sorry the
team gave him everything he ever asked for and, in retrospect, coddled him far too much. He’s sorry he’s immature. He’s only
25 after all.

Most of all, he’s sorry the world wants him to earn it. His birthright may have been an incredible ability to play basketball, but a ring is promised to no man. I think LeBron half-expected David Stern to hand him the Larry O’Brien trophy on draft night. “Oh, need to play some games first?” He’s sorry that even such massive talent, such blinding speed and awesome raw power couldn’t show up, throw down a few dunks and walk away with a championship every year.

Ken Levine / Getty Images

There’s an iconic photo of Michael Jordan hugging his first championship trophy, openly weeping, indubitably reflecting on all the hard work he’d done over his then 7-year career and the preceding decades. He probably thought about the back-breaking work of building a team from nothing to the ultimate winner. The countless hours spent toiling through the playoffs with less than ideal teammates. In the end, there was no doubt he alone was the consummate champion – a singular winner.

So, LeBron is sorry. Well, I’m sorry too. I’m sorry that should LeBron shed his own tears in the coming weeks they won’t mean quite the same thing.

Bonds were approved this week, which would allow the Sacramento Kings to move to Orange County, making Southern California home to 3 NBA teams: the Clippers, Lakers and, potentially, the Kings.

Which raises the question, how can a city (yes, I am aware that the OC isn’t LA, but that is semantics, yo) which doesn’t even have its own NFL team support three basketball teams? Phil Jackson, coach of the Lakers, doesn’t think it can.

“What other metropolitan area has three teams in it?” Jackson said rhetorically. “It’s ridiculous to put another franchise in this market. It just doesn’t make sense to do that.”

Indeed it does NOT, Coach Jackson. Especially when one considers the potential implication to the Anaheim Ducks, whose practice and play schedule would be severely impacted by the move.

Even Dennis Rodman thinks this shit is ridiculous. Take heed, OC.

The Lakers and Clippers plan to raise holy hell to keep the Kings out. Which, admittedly would be fun to watch. Updates as things progress.

Source 1

Source 2

photo credit

You would think such ignorance would liberate me in making my picks, but alas, it has not been so. Instead I recall every prejudice I’ve ever had about any college basketball program ever and apply it to this year’s tourney despite its obvious insignficance.

“Duke, not with that pasty Danny Ferry!”

“Michigan with those long shorts!”

“Notre Dame? Oh, the pope would like that now wouldn’t he?”

Instead of polishing up my bracket in 10 minutes, I’d spend 3 to 5 work hours reading

Brackets even I can understand. I take the one on the far right.

synopses of all the teams and constructing a wonderful fantasy land in which 3 lines of text improve my
chances of success in some statistically significant way.

But the last few years I got smart and constructed a more “effective” strategy. I decided to always pick a team that is “unpopular” (i.e. not very good) with the expectation that if they win it, I’m guaranteed to be in the money, despite getting 4 to 8 correct picks in the first round.

Brilliant, right? I could have taken the “smart” pick, Ohio State. But I live IN Ohio. You know how many Nuts there are around here? Bunch-a-million (as my friend once replied when pondering how many records the Beatles had sold). Picking them would have required me to actually know something other than that Ohio State was good. Duke? Don’t they win like every year? These choices are far too obvious! One must think outside the tiny 3/4s boxes.

And man, am I looking like a genius right now. There are upsets all OVER the place. Butler’s making another unlikely run. AND something called “VICU” (do you spell the letters or try to say it as a word?? I mean, who are those guys?) is also in the Great 8. This looks like the perfect year to have applied my airtight strategy and come out like a bandit. Seriously, that Pitt pick is looking so sweet right about now.

Photo

Dallas Cowboys receiver Dez Bryant was walking through a shopping mall with some friends when they were asked by security to pull up their pants. Apparently, Bryant’s buddies were sporting the classic “I’m in a denim potato sack race” look that the kids today love so much.

Anyway, Paul Blart and the boys would approach and, perhaps nicely or not, asked them to pull up their pants and stop revealing their underwear.

Now, before I go any further, I’d just like to say that if I’m not stealing something, I also will not take seriously anything mall security has to say. I’m sorry, mall cops. I’m sure there are dangers and whatnot, but it’s no more dangerous than me walking through the mall.

The other thing, I’m not Dez Bryant and his friends. I imagine this group first giggles, then salivates when confronted by a gaggle of shopping enforcement officers. Especially when they’re not breaking any laws. This then becomes a fashion argument, and you’re wearing a mall security uniform. This is a situation you should go nowhere near.

Security guards would then try to eject Dez and his friends from the mall, the keyword being “try”. I imagine there was a lot of giggling, pointing, making fun of haircuts, “GI JC Penney” jokes, and I’d like to think some 8 Mile-like rap battles where they’re all, “You ain’t the Five-O, you just a Jive-Ho” before sealing it with a robot move and stuff like that, until finally the police were called to remove Bryant and his posse from the mall.

Bryant refused to leave until his attorney arrived, so he parked his car in a fire lane until a friend talked him down and got him to leave. Bryant was not charged because he did not break the law, but was issued a warning for not complying with a police request. Bryant claims his pants were pulled up and it was his friends’ asses that got all their asses in trouble (I’m paraphrasing).

This is not the first time Dez Bryant has terrorized the mall and its occupants. He once was involved in a major cutting in line incident and once parked in a fire lane. He was also involved in a major disturbance with an unknown woman in a mall eatery where security forces were deployed. The woman is believed to be alive, but hasn’t been seen at any of the kiosks she once frequented, nor has she stopped to get a cookie at either of the two conveniently located fresh cookie stands at either end of the mall. (Not to be confused with the food court, where she also hasn’t been seen.)

It’s also believed that Bryant illegally disposed of a half-full container of Dippin’ Dots, which isn’t against the law, but no one throws away Dippin’ Dots.

Source

Photo

But is it inevitable? Oh man. Everyone seems to think so, and it all ties back to the astonishing inequities between the teams, owners and everyone in between. This, for the record, is why my husband thinks there should be a fan union of sorts, because while all this drama happens, who gets screwed? The fans, natch. The very people who pay everyone’s salaries and make this whole effing thing possible.

The hot mess that is the Hornets (and their recent trade) is illustrative of why this is a disaster. Teams are receiving payouts, the NBA-owned (and bailed-out) Hornets are increasing their payroll and it goes without saying that Mark Cuban is pissed, because that’s what he does. Plus, there’s speculation that the NBA only invested in the Hornets so they’d have leverage in the upcoming labor negotiations.

It’s so ugly. The whole thing gives me a headache.

Add the other recent weirdness with Carmelo Anthony getting traded to the Knicks — Carmelo, incidentally got totally screwed by The Decision, but what did he expect? That’s what you get when you’re a second-fiddle player, you screw up your old contract AND you’re negotiating in a LeBron James year, Carmelo. And I’m a Syracuse alum and a de facto fan of yours, but still. What do you want me to say?

The NBA is allegedly finally gaining back some fans, but the collective greed of the entire organization — from the owners, to the players, to the NBA itself — is making it as ugly as it can possibly get, and it’s only going to get worse. I know that’s a shocking statement. Greed! In professional sports!

And yet, as a fan … it sucks.

I blame you, buddy.

Jonna is more excited than ever that the Lakers look like crap.

12/2 – Cavs lose to some asshole: “OK. I’ve heard trying helps, but going with a different strategy. I’m with ya.”

12/17 – Cavs lose 10 straight to drop to 7-19: “Youch. But run off a 12-game win streak, we’re right back in it.”

12/18 – Cavs beat Knicks: “That 8th win is always the toughest. Especially when it takes like 3 months to get it.”

Losing makes Christian Eyenga sleepy.

1/11 – Cavs lose to Lakers by an order of magnitude: “There is not enough beer in creation to endure this.”

12/20/10 through 02/09/11 – Cavs end up constructing Generals-esque losing streak dropping 26! in a row: “Fuck a duck.”

If you’re mathing at home, the Cavs went 1 and 36 over a 37-game span.

2/11 – Through sheer willpower and consumption of potato moonshine I lead the Cavs to their 9th victory when they beat the Clippers last Friday: “One day I will tell my grandchildren about the crappiest team I was ever a fan of winning that game that one time that I was at.”

2/16 – After laying an egg against the Wizards 3 nights before, Cavs inexplicably beat the Lakers: “I am going to stay up past 2 am writing a post about these magnificent bastards getting 10 wins in 56 games.”

Hey sometimes it takes you three games to win two and sometimes it takes 38. And it sounds like someone is feeling a little jealous.

Go Cavs!

Photo