Anyway, I’ve been bugging him to write stuff for me for a long time now and he did and so I am very happy.  Please welcome Phenom.

- Sarah

She has not played tennis since her win at Wimbledon last year and has fallen to #11 in the world rankings. Complications from a foot injury, and this latest health issue will likely keep her out of competition this spring as well.

Williams has won 27 Grand Slam titles over her 16 year professional career.

There was no further information on her condition at post time.

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Visit Kendra’s personal blog, The Adventures of the Headless Family.

David Ferrer, the returning Mexico Open champion and currently ranked #6 in the world, is quoted as saying that he’s not worried. Really? In January there were 14 beheaded bodies found near a shopping center. Last weekend there were arson attacks and shootouts with a total of 13 killed. While I understand that the drug cartels that are responsible for the violence don’t target tourists and innocent people, they don’t quite say, “Oh, don’t shoot! There’s an international tennis star in the way!” either. Local and federal authorities are said to be beefing up security in the areas surrounding the event. Um, I don’t know if I’d be reassured, considering the allegations of corruption in all levels of the Mexican government.

The tournament has, so far, gone on without a hitch. Second round play resumes today at 3pm local time.

The Mexico Open is played at the Fairmont Acapulco Princess. Played on clay, it will have a purse of $955,000 (men) and $220,000 (women) this year. The 18 year-old tournament attracts mainly Latin American players.

Kendra would like to move further away from Mexico, thankyouverymuch.

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Serena Williams is sitting out of the Australian Open. She just had surgery on her foot and wants to make sure she heals properly. Sounds reasonable enough to me.

Mark Recchi becomes 13th person to score 1500 goals. Well, not all at once –  he has been in the NHL for four decades. The Bruins right wing  may have been playing professional hockey since 1988, but that is how long it takes to score 1500 career points.

NBA Ticket Prices Continue to Fall. Honestly, thank the Gods. The average NBA ticket price is down to $48 per game, and at that price I can actually afford to go to a pro basketball game – assuming I don’t buy more than one $8 beer.

Vince Young apologizes to his coach – by text message. Vince Young again shows his lack of class, texting an apology to Titans coach Jeff Fisher for an argument about his supposed benching earlier this week.

Fisher wasn’t impressed.

“I’m not a real big text guy,” he said Wednesday. “I’m not really into this new age stuff. I don’t twit or tweet. But I think face-to-face is a man thing, OK?”

In related news I continue to lose my faith in humanity.

The Black Eyed Peas Will Perform During Super Bowl Half Time Show. Luckily, nobody watches the half-time show during the super bowl so I will not have to endure this special brand of torture.

Joe Paterno has another year in him. JoPa says he’ll be back for 2011. The entire state of Pennsylvania cringes.

And the Heat is overrated.

Thank You! Good Night!

[photos: popularpersons.org, Art Little]

Like so many things, this is all Hines Ward’s fault. He was on one of the morning radio shows this week, saying the Steelers hoped to convince Casey Hampton to dress as an M&M, and Mike Wallace as a pretzel. Once I erased that horrifying image from my brain, I started to wonder what other athletes might dress as for Halloween.

This young man is a striking version of former Texas Ranger Ron Washington.

(Image originally TwitPic’d by Gordon Keith.)

Look out Boston. Newest Celtic Shaquita is coming your way and he’ll be riding the T in a potentially offensive costume for absolutely no reason whatsoever.

We’re supposed to be over it — and him — by now, but Brett Favre seems to be on everyone’s list, whether you want to put him in a trench coat or a banana costume (as DDS writer HeadlessMom suggested). Alternatively, just put on a Jets’ jersey and carry a cell phone.

Brady’s Bieber hair is still getting some attention. And Eli as Peyton? Brilliant.

Sports Illustrated’s vault has a fantastic gallery of athletes in costume. My personal favorite is John McEnroe as a younger version of himself.

Follow @si_vault on twitter for lots more.

I absolutely love this photo of Jeff Gordon dressed as a “one night stand.” The creativity winner, by a mile.

(Image: Getty)

Want to be Lovie Smith this year? It’s easy. “Randomly throw red things around without rhyme or reason.”

How about the 2010 Red Sox team. You can be ALL of them, simply by putting “a cast on your hand, a splint on your ankle, drip some blood all over and paint a black eye on your face.”

Closer to home, my son decided to “be the ball” this year. We reminded his eighth grade buddies to protect the pigskin at all times. Needless to say, they were far too cool for that sort of nonsense.

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Duking it out in the boneheaded-retireee category:

Warren Sapp? He was pulled over by a cop in a minivan, but yesterday he had moved on to other more pressing concerns.

Lenny Dykstra? He’s pretending to be a lawyer and demanding his creditors return the private jet they reposessed. He’d like them to give him $800,000 too. He’s also a cutie, right?

John Elway? Ponzi scheme, anyone?

I guess Auto Nation wasn’t the bonanza he was looking for.

Liar? Faker? Crybaby?

That would be Gilbert Arenas. Yawn.

Illegal betting?

Check. Tiger didn’t have enough trouble in his life, and no comment from Federer.

Ouch

Pinkies are apparently overrated — or at least they are if you’re Hokie left guard Greg Nosal and want to finish the damn game. I’m a mom. I’ve said, “Don’t interrupt me unless there’s blood.” But this? Ridonculous.

And he plays fantasy baseball too.

Big Hair

Elvis has not left the building, or had a haircut since March. Somebody tell him he’s not a hockey player and playoff beards do not belong on top of your head.

[Photo: In.com]
[Photo: Dailypress.com]
[Photo: US Presswire]

Look ma, no pants!

Ho hum. Over it.

“Whoa, look! Did you see Venus’s teeny tiny outfit again? The black undies with the fireworks shirt? Shocking, right?”

“Did she win?”

“No idea. But did you see what she was WEARING?”

Whatever. I get it. Girl is smoking hot. I wish I looked that good, like every minute of every day I wish I looked that good. I also kind of wish I could even play a passable game of tennis without feeling like I was going to keel over and die and hit a ball without it knocking me in the eye, much less be one of the top-ranked players in the world.

Take that, John McEnroe, with your “ladies shouldn’t play as many matches as men, women are weaker, blahblahblah.” Venus Williams and women who are even half as good at tennis as she is are outstanding. I bow to them.

Also it’s still hot in New York, yes. And Venus is a fashion designer who is into the clothes. But I honestly have to wonder if these teensy beensy clothes are necessary? What’s next? She comes out naked with a racket? All “Whoo! Look at me! I’m a naked tennis player!” That would really shock me, I admit. I’d kind of like to see her try it. I guess she could still try to set the bar lower with fabric — or in this case higher and higher up her ass — but where does it end? You only have so much body and so little material to work with.

Anyway. Venus kicked barely-clothed ass on the court again today, advancing to the U.S. Open semifinal, in spite of the need to yank at her underwear pants for the duration of the match.

And that is the story I really want to tell you, that she advanced to the semifinal again in a Grand Slam tournament. But instead? Pants, or lack thereof, that’s what’s burning up the tubes. (Yes, including this one. I get it.) But that still irks me. Venus is one of the most talented and celebrated female athletes in history. While I think it’s a foolish myth that athletes equal role models, I do think that there could be some focus on the sport over the show. You can’t tell me she doesn’t know that when she comes out minimally-clothed on her bottom half, that that is going to be the buzz.

And honestly I guess that’s her prerogative. She has the history and the celebrity at this point to do whatever she wants, and no matter what she wears she’s still going to play kickass tennis until she doesn’t anymore. I just wish, even though I’m not exactly sure why I care, that she would put some pants on while she’s doing it.

Capriati is known for her tennis career that began in 1988 with her holding the record for the youngest French Open Junior winner at 13 years, 2 months. Yet, she’s also known for her repeated brushes with the law, including arrests for shoplifting and marijuana possession beginning in 1993. She has been quoted by the New York Daily News as saying “If I don’t have [tennis] who am I? What am I?”

And in researching other articles for this story, I accidentally came across the supposed reason for her accidental overdose: her maybe-ex-boyfriend Dale DaBone (yes, you heard me right) is going back to porn.

Seriously? Who says “I’m so overwrought that DaBone is going to (da) bone several someones on film that I think I’ll take a handful of this crap.”?

Accidentally or on purpose? You decide, because I may never recover from the knowledge that there is actually a movie being made with the title “Batman XXX: A Porn Parody”

Kendra was shocked at the twists of this story. Kinda. But not really.

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Match stats do not include how many bathroom breaks have been taken.

John Isner in less exhausted times.

The New York Times is live-blogging the match at the aptly named Straight Sets blog and the Guardian has it blogged on local time.

[Update:  Play was suspended on day two with the 5th set score tied at 59 games all. The match will resume not before 15:30 local time tomorrow.]

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ClumberKim enjoyed a successful high school tennis career, thanks entirely to a doubles partner with a killer serve.

She looks like a hooker.

I really can’t believe that she wore this outfit to play in the French Open. Outside. Where people were looking at her.

Seriously, what the hell am I looking at?

If that little black lacy number isn’t supposed to be lingerie, I don’t know what one would consider unmentionable.

Many were referring to her tennis dress as lingerie and we can see why.  Venus wore nude nylon booty shorts underneath her “costume” —- the same kind that caused so much controversy at the Australian Open.

- Bitten and Bound

And no kidding. At one point I was entirely convinced I was looking at Venus Williams’ bare ass, and while I find Venus to be an attractive woman, this is neither the time nor the place for partial nudity.

News everyone! She designed it herself.

Whistles and whispers circulated through the stands, a reaction brought about not by Venus Williams’ play, but by the outfit Williams designed herself. The fashionista, who has her own apparel line called EleVen , told the press it was all “about illusion”  which, she noted is “a lot of my motif this year” when it comes to clothes design.

As Williams ran and jumped her way around the court, the tennis dress —- designed to give the illusion of being see-through —- was prone to several revealing moments. The black overlay material made the dress appear as if it was see through, even though it was not. To add to the raciness, she also sported skin-colored underwear, which was visible to fans and photogs and gave the illusion that she wasn’t wearing any undergarments at all.

- Pretty Tough

I don’t mean to be a bitch, but maybe she should either stick to playing tennis or designing intimates, because outerwear that is not.

Of course Venus won the match. Venus almost always wins the match. She is an extraordinary tennis player. I just wish she would show some respect for the game. I think I am actually offended as a tennis fan.

I am sure that there are people out there who think that her little outfit was great but when I did a google search for May 24th with the words: Venus, Williams, French, Open and Outfit and the exact phrase “I liked it,” there were zero matches. I guess you can interpret that however you want.

It seems to me that Venus Williams was playing two games at the French Open, and she only won one of them.

Originally Written for and Cross-Posted with minor changes on BlogHer.