Draft Day Suit

Ron Artest has lost a bet, his mind or both.

[photos via The Big Lead]

Melissa and Josh are watching the Olympics, as they do all sporting events, with very different perceptions of competition. This is Josh’s perspective. Melissa’s is here.

Melissa and I were watching the opening ceremonies of the Olympics the other night when an ad came on the television, that said something to the effect of, “Right now, everyone’s tied.*” Melissa approved of the ad. I did not. And we began talking a little bit about how this was reflective of our different views on competition. She likes the idea that for a moment everyone’s tied. Nobody has lost. We’re all here for the warm-and-fuzzies of participating in the Olympics. While that emotion is certainly a nice one, it just doesn’t ring true to me and I suspect for any of the athletes participating in the Games. Every single one of them came to win — even the guy who is fated to come in 25th in a field of 25 believes somewhere in his gut that he could come out of nowhere and shock the world (his brain knows better.) I think the concept of “everyone’s tied” only works as being representative of the hope that everyone, even the Moroccan skier, could be a winner.

But this raised the larger question of how to talk to the kids about competition. I was a very competitive kid. Like, waaaay too competitive when I really got into it. When I was 10 or 11 I got called-out for tagging up at third base before the ball had been caught and I flipped-out to such a degree that even Billy Martin would have been saying, “Whoa, calm down there kid, just a Little League game.” Even writing about it now, I get mad, because I had led-off the inning with a triple and I know, and I mean KNOW FOR A CERTAINTY, that I tagged up properly. That, plus the teenage umpire had a brother on the other team and I think that might have influenced the call. It’s been over twenty-five years and I’m still pissed.

Part of growing-up (and a hard part at-that) has been learning how to positively channel that competitive energy without going over the edge to the dark side. I’ve tried a couple of different approaches. One was to completely remove myself from those situations where I get too competitive. I don’t play video games, I don’t play racquetball or tennis because eventually I’ll get so into it that I’ll forget I was supposed to be having fun. Or, if I participate I have to consciously not care about winning — which usually means I lose, also no fun (plus the people you’re playing against can usually tell, and that’s no fun for them either). I’ve yet to really be able to reach what should be my goal, to try my hardest and be happy with that.

So, I admit that I am perhaps not the best role model for my kids when it comes to competition. I’d like to be as zen about it as Melissa seems to be, but I think that the desire to compete and win is an irrepressible evolutionary trait of men (and many women). Every time I think, “Maybe now I’m old enough and wise enough and mellow enough not to lose myself too much in a game” (particularly a physical one) I find that eventually, my temper and grumpy sportsmanship surfaces. Just recently I lost my temper playing Wii Fit Rhythm Parade. Let me repeat that: I lost my temper playing a game in which my Mii was dressed like a drum major marching to a beat. I thought I did pretty good by only lightly tossing the Wii remote when it was done, but apparently I didn’t toss it as lightly as I intended. Sorry ’bout that, Mel.

But here’s the thing — it wasn’t my parents who either through intent or neglect made me this way. In fact, they were usually pretty horrified by my behavior when I would go all Lou Pinella on some poor 15-year-old who only thought he was helping-out when he agreed to umpire his brother’s Little League game (NEAR-SIGHTED, CROSS-EYED MORON!). So, does anything I have to say really have any chance of influencing how my kids behave in the thick of competition? I hope so. I can already see some of myself in the Wolvog’s fits when he gets frustrated at a game.

And the Olympics is probably the best example of how to conduct oneself with intensity in competition and grace in defeat. So we’ll be watching with the kids and maybe they’ll pick-up on the fact that when you try your hardest and still lose, you can do so with pride and learn from your loss. But I also fear that they’ll pick-up on the truth that winning can be a drug, and when you’re longing for it, you are capable of behaving in ways that you won’t always be proud of. It’s a lesson I’m still trying to teach myself. Because I truly do believe that how you play really is more important than if you win or lose…

But I still think the concept of everyone being tied is kind of lame.

Josh is married to Melissa and writes the recently re-animated blog Not-For-Profit Dad.

* If you know what ad I’m talking about please email me (notforprofitdad [at] gmail dot-com) because it is driving me crazy that I can’t remember and I’ve wasted way too much time on YouTube trying in vain to find it.

I am so sick of Tim Tebow.

I am sick of hearing about him,  about how he and his mother, Pam Tebow, are slated to tell the Super Bowl audience on Sunday that they’re glad he is alive because she chose not to heed warnings of medical professionals during a dangerous pregnancy – in the Phillipines, a country where abortion has been illegal since long before the senior University of Florida quarterback was a Bible-verse-painted gleam in his missionary parents’ eyes, so I’m not even sure what kind of choice she had.

(Or at least that’s supposedly what they’re going to do on evangelical organization Focus on the Family’s dime, in what probably even Kanye would call one of the most notorious as-yet-unaired multi-million dollar public service announcements of all time.)

I am sick of hearing about how, unsuccessful in his bid to kill off cartoon character Spongebob Squarepants for his alleged raging homosexuality a few years back, FOF founder James Hobson’s crew, led by current CEO Jim Daly, has shifted the family’s focus to football fans, softened as many of the latter may be by six hours of Bud Light and nachos.

I am tired of hearing about how CBS has refused ads from other groups that present arguably less conservative viewpoints, while tacking on a pre-game run of additional Focus on the Family ads.

“We have for some time moderated our approach to advocacy submissions after it became apparent that our stance did not reflect public sentiment or industry norms,” said CBS spokesperson, Shannon Jacobs.

I have no idea what that means, Shannon Jacobs, so I’m tired of you too.

I am tired of this not because of any political difference of opinion I have with Focus on the Family, honestly, and not just because I have Tebow news fatigue. I get the central arguments here. I understand why women’s organizations have a problem with an ad like this running during an event that is heavily marketed to men, that is a sporting event enjoyed by millions across the country, with special good vibes this year given the excitement of the city of New Orleans over the Saints’ first visit to the contest (and yes, I’m sure Indianapolis is feeling pretty excited too.) I get why Momocrats are supporting a Tailgate for Choice. I understand the generation of petitions and the feelings of people who believe that CBS is exhibiting bias in this case.

I also fully understand why, given the access to millions of people parked in front of their televisions, some of them primarily for the commercials, any group would use it to broadcast their central message. And because I’m a fan of the First Amendment, I stand by their right to hire a star college football quarterback who is an avowed Christian and a potential NFL player as the medium for their message.

I just think it’s absurd that a country like this will bicker for weeks about a commercial that no one has seen. I think it’s nuts that an alleged nonprofit organization will spend $2.5 million to buy 30 seconds – 30 seconds – of ideological airtime that it could have spent helping sisters and their babies out in the Super Bowl’s host city of Miami or just a skip across the ocean to Haiti, for that matter -  anywhere there are people with need, anywhere there are people who are making or have made tough choices about family. Because if as they say this ad is a multimillion dollar investment in celebrating life and family, maybe there’s a better, more productive way than a commercial.

I don’t get it. Or maybe I do, because I’m not that dim, and I just don’t like it.

When I think of Super Bowl commercials I think of beer, and maybe cars. I think of Pepsi, who won’t be there at all this year, and unfortunately I think of cave men, which makes me inclined to never, ever be a Geico customer, so that effort failed. Sometimes when I’m feeling down and blue I watch Terry Tate’s Office Linebacker clips because apparently random violence and screaming entertain me. (Which all the same does not mean I’m going to go out and kick some ass, nor to buy Reebok anything. I’m a wild card picker, just to be clear.)

For a change, I do not think of social issues, and the people who would like to tell me how to think about them. I think about football, and also nachos, and what the hell a down is, anyway.

Tim Tebow could explain that to me, which would in fact be very useful, but he and his mom are not going to make me think any harder or more deeply about life and family. They wouldn’t have if I hadn’t heard anything about this beforehand and they won’t now. I’ll just notice them more than I would have in the first place because frankly, I can’t avoid them.

But if I were CBS, I’d watch out for the South Florida Grannies.

[Video: Source]

[Source]

[Source]

[Source]

So while the jury is still out on whether or not this is a prank, Don “Moose” Lewis has announced in an August, Ga., newspaper that he’s launching the All-American Basketball Alliance.

Anyone can play, you just gotta be a natural born U.S. Citizen (don’t want any of those pesky immigrants) and both of your parents have to be 100 percent Caucasian.  All Larry Bird, no Michael Jordan apparently – not to put too fine a point on it.

According to the article in the Atlanta Journal Constitution, Lewis wants to emphasize the “fundamentals of basketball” rather than the “street ball” played by “people of color.”

Hmmmmmm. Well, what about immigrants who are lily white -like the Irish or the English? Are we really going to exclude the Norwegians, Dutch and French? I mean – it’s one thing to be racist against the “people of color” but DEAR GOD is this mad man proposing we are racist against our white brothers?

While I try not to choke on the entire premise, joke or no, his arguments simply don’t hold ground. He alleges in the AJC article that promoting a “Whites Only League” will prevent things like being flipped off during games, players attacking you in the stands or players grabbing their crotches. If you simply remove the racist, bigoted aspect well……..I’m sorry Moose – have you MET any white people?

I even have examples!

Here we have Bud Adams, who is without fail an old WHITE dude whose parents were VERY likely both of Caucasian descent – flipping off tens of thousands of fans. That’s right – flippin’ ye old bird. To the FANS.

Ron Artest does NOT hold the world record for attacking fans in the stands. I love me some Ron Artest from his Pacers days, and yeah he does roll a little thug life, but he’s not the sole perpetrator of this behavior. After all, baseball legend Ty Cobb once attacked a HANDICAPPED MAN during a game and received an eight-game suspension for such behavior. Ty Cobb was………hmmmm – WHITE.

Crotch grabbing? I’m not even going to Google that one although some pics might be a nice way to start everyone’s day. I am about 100 percent positive that old Moose has grabbed his crotch three or four times already today and he isn’t wearing a jock. So I’m just throwing that one out as well.

Upon reflection – with these arguments removed, I can’t find any other reason TO create such a league…except the intention to exclude individuals based on race.  And that doesn’t fly in 2010, my friend Moose.

He says “He doesn’t hate anyone of color,” and that there is no “hatred” about what they are doing in his AJC interview. Well – that might be true, friend. And I don’t hate bigots and racists, or people who promote professional wrestling either.

Oh wait, yes I do.

He calls what he’s going to promote an event that is going to promote “Feel good, fun nostalgia.” You know, here in Atlanta I think there is some nostalgia that might not feel so good to one entire segment of the population.

I’m giving you and your jackboot-wearing friends a FAIL, Moose.  But I hear that Rush Limbaugh is very interested in investing in major league sports teams. I’d give him a buzz. He’s completely down with the sort of nostalgia you’re into. You guys should totally get together. That’d be a win for you both!

[source]

[Photo credit: ThelMagazine.com]