Draft Day Suit

I can sit and wonder why Elizabeth Lambert behaved the way she did in a Mountain West Conference semifinal game against Brigham Young University last week, or I can wonder why this is the only news coverage I can recall seeing about women’s soccer, ever.

Or I can do both at the same time.

I mean, granted, if you’ve seen the video (and you’ve probably seen the video) you know that you do not want to make Elizabeth angry, at least not on the soccer field. She might punch you in the back (especially if you elbow her in the stomach first, sister) or sit on you. She is also capable of yanking you by your hair and pulling you to the ground. Then, and let’s hope finally, she is not opposed to tripping your ass, which is what a referee apparently decided last Thursday was bad enough to get pulled from the game, 76 minutes in.

I was sitting in a restaurant bar with a friend on Friday night when I watched her do all of these things – over and over again, thanks to Pardon the Interruption and then just the regular repetitive ESPN news cycle. The first time I watched her pull her opponent, BYU forward Kassidy Shumway, to the ground I’ll admit that I said “Ouch” out loud, as Shumway hit the turf face down and, in what is always the longest span of time in televised sports for me no matter how long it lasts, didn’t immediately get up.

I said “Ouch,” and I’m a hockey freak.

The University of New Mexico Athletic program has suspended her indefinitely for her actions.

Lambert released a statement Friday taking responsibility for her behavior.

“I am deeply and wholeheartedly regretful for my actions. My actions were uncalled for. I let my emotions get the best of me in a heated situation. I take full responsibility for my actions and accept any punishment felt necessary from the coaching staff and UNM administration. This is in no way indicative of my character or the soccer player that I am. I am sorry to my coaches and teammates for any and all damages I have brought upon them. I am especially sorry to BYU and the BYU womens soccer players that were personally affected by my actions. I have the utmost respect for the BYU women’s soccer program and its players.”

Athletic Director Paul Krebs has not been clear so far on what that punishment will be, beyond saying that:

“Liz’s conduct on the field against BYU was completely inappropriate. There is no way to defend her actions.”

Coach Kip Vela said:

“Liz is a quality student-athlete, but in this instance her actions clearly crossed the line of fair play and good sportsmanship.”

Kind of, yeah, especially if she is a quality student-athlete.

Facebook group Ban Elizabeth Lambert of New Mexico From College Sports is the usual fountain of random comment wisdom and there you will find her tried in the court of public social media opinion on a level I’m not willing to replicate here. I don’t know this girl and it’s not appropriate for me to make any blanket assumptions about her mental health or personal character based on her behavior on one day, although I will agree that it was very bad behavior indeed. I do have questions, though, which may never be answered.

*How much are young women encouraged to smack each other around in soccer games? Is this the norm for the sport or an aberration? I guess I should watch some more and find out.

*Has anyone else ever melted like the Wicked Witch on the receiving end of a death glare from Elizabeth Lambert like the one she gave BYU’s Carlee Payne after she whacked her in the back? Because I’m thinking that’s possible. Scary stuff.

*The Daily Lobo at UNM reports that Lambert has been “yellow-carded” three times in her career – all in the past three weeks. Odd? Maybe. If this really is uncharacteristic behavior for her, who’s paying attention to it?

*Is womens’ sports only news when Serena Williams throws a fit? Does the WNBA need to tweet itself to death to get coverage for a league that has to share pages with the NCAA and gets minimal coverage until there’s a fracas on the court? Do women have to act out for press?

*Does ABC News really need to write a story using Lambert’s actions as justification for their unfounded allegations that “dirty play is not uncommon in womens’ sports”?

Like I said, I don’t know. I don’t in any way support her actions in that game, mostly because they looked like broken legs or closed head injuries weren’t out of the question given the way her opponents hit the ground. I think a lot of times more force than necessary is used on athletic fields, but I’ve never been out there so I don’t know what it’s like. I do know that winning is a huge expectation in high stakes games and pressure drives people to crazy behavior. I’m not sure that’s always a good idea. And whereas I do believe strongly in accountability I think it’s sad that of all the things a highly competitive, talented female athlete can be known for in her collegiate career, it boils down to headlines with words like “dirty” and “violent,” and stupid, videotaped, aggressive behavior. I’m sure she can do way better. Let’s hope she does from now on, no matter who’s watching.

When my sons first began playing soccer people would turn to my husband and look approvingly as if to say, “Dude, good thing you got your kids into soccer.” And it would piss me off. It wasn’t my husband who fanned the flame to get the kids fired up about soccer, it was me.  I love the game!  My love of the game began early, not because I played on the Pugs, but because I had traveled to Europe. See, across the pond, soccer is to other countries what Football and Baseball are to us here in the U S of A. Sitting in a pub or cafe in Paris or London watching a futbol match with the Europeans gave me a contact high which continued to have an effect on me, well,  forever.

Yeah, I played intramural soccer in college. But  for fun, definitely not for profit or sex. I wasn’t especially talented nor promiscuous, which may have contributed to my non existent rise to fortune and fame.  But I’m okay with that. I got out of the game just  what I needed at that time in my life: physical exercise  and beer. Okay, mainly beer.

So now my kids are playing soccer. Not yet into the beer garden party, but they do like to watch our local MLS team, DC United, play at RFK Stadium.

While we’ve had seats behind the hard core fans, our kids prefer to sit elsewhere because ,while the fans are spirited and tend to be happy, they stand up for almost the entire match and the pounding of the feet sort of makes my younger son nervous the stadium floor will give way. And if it does? He’s convinced we’ll fall into the depths of the stadium which will definitely mean he’ll fall so fast he won’t be able to get any Dippin’ Dots*along the way.

This past week we watched the Confederations Cup; Spain V. South Africa.  Initially I thought there was a problem with our television reception. I heard something which sounded a lot like buzzing . My sons told me it was due to  horns being blown by fans in the stadium.  And yup, they were absolutely right. I had utterly forgotten about the vuvuzela and after I told the boys the name of the horn, I waited for one of them to giggle and ask  if there is also a penis horn.

Smartassery, it seems, also follows the maternal line.

*Consensus tells me there is no middle ground when it comes to Dippin Dots; either you love them or  you hate them.  My opinion is Dippin Dots suck.

Hello one and all!

My name is Gunfighter, and I have been invited to contribute to this blog to talk to you about the world of Rugby!

Yes, Rugby, that most exciting of games played with an oval ball… the game they play in heaven.

I thought I would start with something of an overview of the game, and tell you some of it’s history, because we are only a few months away from that start of the Rugby World Cup, which will be held in France this year. Good times.

For those of you who might already know me, you know that throughout my time in the blogosphere I have made reference to the fact that I am a huge rugby fan and that I believe that compared to rugby all other sports pale in comparison. I have never discussed WHY I enjoy rugby as much as I do. So… With your kind indulgence, today’s post will be about “The Game They Play In Heaven”.

Most Americans have never had any exposure to rugby, and those that do primarily see it as some sort of weird, not-quite-normal football game. I’d like to take a moment to dissect the game and make it make more sense to you.

To begin, let’s take a little trip back in time to 1823, at a place called Rugby school, in Warwickshire, England.

Legend has it the during a soccer game (the Brits call it football) at the school, a student named William Webb-Ellis, picked up the ball and started running with it. This caused the other boys to chase him down and tackle him, and rugby football was born.

Basically the story is a myth, but what is true is that the game that later evolved into rugby began there. Let’s see what has happened in the years since.

Soccer is the father of rugby, and rugby begat North American football, Gaelic football and Australian rules football, but I digress.

As the British Empire grew and grew, particularly in the 19th century, it’s games went with it, which is why soccer is so popular the world over. Rugby is less popular because for so much of it’s history, it was the game of the middle and upper classes. Rugby was (and to a much smaller degree today, still is) a “gentleman’s game” while soccer was the game of the working class. There are two types of rugby, rugby league and rugby union, which have slightly different rules, during my stay at this fine blog, I will be talking almost exclusively about rugby union, which only enterd the professional era ten years ago.

In rugby union, the game has two 40 minute halves, separated by a 20 minute halftime interval, that are played without timeouts except for injuries. The two teams on the field consist of 15 players, all of whom play offense as well as defense.

There are five different ways to score in rugby, and they are:

Try: A try is scored when a player moves the ball onto or across the goal line, touches the ball to the ground and applies downward pressure, with no part of the player’s body being “In-Touch” (out of bounds). The try is where American football derives the term “touch-down”. A try is worth 5 points.

Conversion: A conversion kick happens after a team scores a try. The kick can made as far out as 22 meters from the goal line, in a direct line from whatever part of the goal area the try was scored. So, if a try is scored at the goal line, but right near the sideline, the conversion kick will be made from as far as 22 meters out, but on the sideline itself. As a result the kickers must be adept at kicking with either foot, often at an extreme oblique angle. A conversion is worth 2 points. So a “converted try” is worth 7 points, sound familiar?

Penalty kick: A penalty kick can be taken after a penalty, although the team that benefits from the penalty has the option of restarting play without kicking for the goal. The penalty kick will be taken from the point of the infraction. A penalty goal is worth 3 points.

Drop Goal: A drop goal can be made from anywhere, even while the ball is in play and being contested. The drop goal takes place when a player drops the ball to the ground and after the ball touches the ground, he (she) kicks the ball over and through the goal posts. A drop goal is worth 3 points. Drop goals are exciting, albeit rare.

Penalty Try: A penalty try can be awarded by a referee if a defender gives an intentional infraction which would certainly have prevented a try from being scored. Again, fairly rare. A Penalty try is also worth 5 points.

If this sounds confusing, don’t sweat it… it is easy to figure it out while watching.

Another important facet of the game is that although players are allowed to pass the ball, the ball must be passed in a backward direction. That’s right, no forward passing. Oh, and no blocking for the runner either… s/he will just have to use speed, finesse or raw power to avoid being tackled to the ground.

Should a team want to move the ball forward by air, that will have to be done by a kick. You can kick the ball forward to one of your own players, but the receiving player cannot be forward of the ball when it is kicked or that player is “offside”.

Players on a rugby team are divided into Forwards and Backs, all of whom play on the field at the same time.

Have a look at this, so you can see where they are when they line up.

The Backs and Wingers are much like American football backs and recievers. These are usually the more slender, speedster-types that run like the wind. The object is to get the ball to these guys to do some broken field running and to score tries. Some of the most notable Wingers in the world of international rubgy today are: Doug Howlett (NZ), Joe Rockocoko (NZ), and Bryan Habana (South Africa).

The Forwards tend to be built more like me. Heavier, stonger guys that are made for physical confrontation but are much less fleet-of-foot. These are the guys that are up front, battling for the ball in the scrum, ruck, and maul. Some of the most notable forwards in international rugby today are: Andrew Sheridan (England), Rodney “Rod-zilla” Blake (Australia), and Jacobus “Os” (Ox in english) DuRandt (South Africa).

The game begins with a kick-off, much like our game, but once it starts there is no timeout after a tackle.

Once a tackle is made, the tackled player must release the ball, and may not play the ball again until he is on his feet.

After a tackle the “ruck” is formed. This happens as the players from the team in possession form a shell over the tackled player so that they may pick up the ball and continue to advance. The opposition, at the same time, try to push and pull the other players away from the ruck, so that their team can contest for possession. Players may also use their feet to dig for the ball if it is being intentionally covered by the team in possession.

If a player has the ball and is tackled, but not taken to the ground, his own teammates can bind around him
(hold him up) and continue to advance while the opposition may bind around the tackler and push back. This is called the “Maul”.

The last thing I want to tell you about is the “Scrum”. The scrum or scrummage takes place when play needs to be restarted for some reason. The forwards (numbers one through 8), on the signal from the referee, push back and forth as the scrum-half of the team in possession puts the ball into the scrum.

I know this sounds like a lot, and there is a lot, but to tell you the truth, rugby is much less complicated than our football, and more importantly, much more exciting, as the play is almost continuous.

If you are interested in seeing some good rugby on televison, you might want to try your local sattelite provider (I have Directtv) and see if they carry Setanta sports… this is an Irish sports channel that carries rugby from the UK, Europe, South Africa, Australia, and New Zealand, as well as international competitions including the upcoming 2007 Men’s Rugby World Cup.

Rugby is a fast paced, hard hitting, exciting game that is free of grandstanding and showboating. Rugby is a game where teamwork is paramount, Rugby is a game where people that fail drug tests wind up out on their backside for two entire years for their first offense. Rugby isn’t for the meek. It takes physical courage and strength of character to play. Rugby is a game played by men as well as women. Rugby is a game of international competition.

Rugby is passionate, it is infectious, and I love it.

Cheers!

Gunfighter

I’m starting to lose faith as a fan.

Last week I watched as Steve Yzerman’s sweater was lifted to the rafters of the Joe. Yeah, I said the Joe. I’m from there, I can get away with it. However if YOU say it, I shall totally make fun of you.

Anyway, I got weepy and proud and nostalgic about 24 times each.

Then I felt dead inside.

That is until I heard the news when I woke up this morning.

(que porn music)

Becks is coming to town.

Ok, that perks me up.

A little.

Disclaimer: Oh shut up. If you can oogle the cheerleader camel toe, I can totally oogle the soccer guy.