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So, let’s say you’re at hockey game and someone makes a play that you, in your infinite wisdom do not agree with. Do you:

A) Yell that your grandma plays better hockey from her wheelchair with her guide dog.

B) Yell that they should replace said player with the team mascot for maximum effectiveness.

C) Yell that you, as a mid-level manager at a dog food supply company could play better (insert position here) than said player.

D) Throw a banana at said player, who happens to be black.

If you chose D, like the douche who threw a banana at Philadelphia Flyer Wayne Simmonds (one of the few black players in the NHL), I should like you to consider the following.

Douchey McKKK is admitting to throwing the banana, but is flummoxed at why people would think it’s racist. His lawyer adds that, if anything, Christopher Moorehouse wishes he’d chosen another fruit:

He was horrified when he saw the implications a day later as to how it had come out, and he said to me, ‘If I had an apple or an orange, I would have thrown that out onto the ice. I did not realize the significance. This is a young guy who’s guilty, if anything, of an act of stupidity.

Um. I don’t know. It might be racist because you threw a BANANA at a BLACK guy. This is not a complicated algorithm. So yes, Christopher Moorehouse. When you premeditated your offense by bringing a banana to a hockey arena to throw it at one of the few black players in the league, you can rest assured that what you are doing is, indeed, racist.

You can also cease acting shocked that everyone else thinks so, too.

At least Simmonds got the goal.

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