Dream On: Book Review Edition

Paula Creamer

photo by John Mummert/USGA

The 2010 US Women’s Open Championship was contested this past weekend at Oakmont Country Club, near Pittsburgh, PA. Site of the 2007 men’s open and host of more USGA and PGA championships than any other in the US, the course is an absolute beast. No poor shot goes unpunished and the greens are more like glass than grass. Around a 15 on the stimpmeter, for those of you scoring at home.

Angel Cabrera won the men’s open with a score of 5 over par three years ago. One caddie predicted one of the women would shoot 100. It isn’t surprising then to find only one golfer, winner Paula Creamer, ended up under par for 72 holes. She is the only golfer to muster three sub-par rounds. Only one other golfer, Brittany Lang, managed two sub-par rounds. I witnessed one player on Sunday throw her putter after finishing the 9th hole, complete with a few words not exactly suitable for a family sport. Like I said, a beast.church pew bunker at Oakmont #15

But maybe your dream isn’t to win a major. Maybe it’s just to shoot a round at par, probably on a course a bit more suitable to mortals than Oakmont. Maybe you decide to devote a year to this task and write a book about it.

That is exactly what John Richardson of Ireland set out to do. Then end result is Dream On:  One Hack Golfer’s Challenge to Break Par in a Year.

He’s a regular guy, with a wife, a daughter, and a full-time job that has nothing to do with golf. He also writes like a regular guy, with a conversational style that’s not unlike a lot of bloggers. The book is very approachable, thought it would have benefitted from a bit more editing. (I thought I would scream if I saw the phrase “hard graft” one more time.) It chronicles the entire year of ups and downs for the 24-handicapper who is striving to just once shoot par.

Richardson feels guilty, so very guilty, about the time spent on the golf course instead of at home with his family. This particular horse is beaten up a bit for my taste, but he’s incredibly sincere at the same time. Not for a moment did I doubt him, though I did find myself wishing for running commentary or at least an epilogue by his wife. I could imagine an audio book with little parenthetical comments from her, or perhaps little mutterings under the breath.

dream_onThe geek in me loved how he was sucked in by every book, video, and gadget he found (and bought, many on eBay or late night tv), searching for another saved stroke. Then I discovered he’s selling what he learned for a mere $19 a month. He will even send you a crisp 10 pound note if you don’t shave 33 strokes off your golf game too.

But none of that takes away from the book. It’s a fun, easy summer read, and certainly inspirational. Dream on, indeed. And come play Oakmont, Mr. Richardson. I’ll hook you up.

[The publisher graciously provided this book to me. The words are my own and I received no other compensation besides the book.]

ClumberKim has been obsessed with golf for more than 25 years. Someday she might even swing a club.

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Tiger Chokes Again

Old news alert:  Tiger Woods chokes again.

tiger-woods

With Graeme McDowell’s U.S. Open win on Sunday, another nail was hammered into Tiger’s coffin.  Evidently, he wants to be sure his fate is sealed tight.

It is clear that he is not the player he once was.  His indiscretions have dealt him a mental blow and he looks more like a battered boxer hanging on the ropes than the best golfer in the world.   I guess that’s the hand that karma deals you when you’re a whore.

There is no doubt that if Tiger had kept his junk in his trunk, he’d be in a better position right now.  Despite the fans who still adore him, he can’t deny the fact that he is a broken man whose golf game will be forever changed because some of those fans adored him a little too much.  Okay, a lot too much.

I wish I could say that there is part of me that feels sorry for the guy, but there isn’t.  He is a disappointment to his sport and he is a disgrace to his gender.

I used to love watching Tiger play.  I used to know how fortunate I was to be born at the right time so I could see the best player to ever hold a club.

Now, I just want to hit him with one.

[Photo]

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U.S. Open: Everyone Sucked Except One Guy

When Dustin Johnson teed off on the first hole on the last day of the U.S. Open with a three-shot lead after three days of making Pebble Beach his Pebble Bitch, most believed he’d roll to victory. In fact, I was watching the tournament with my father as he was explaining to me how Johnson won two Pro-Ams there and absolutely loved this course.

I hadn’t seen the first few days, I was doing some stuff, but had heard of old Dustin and his walk to victory. And when my father was done explaining Johnson’s meteoric rise to prominence, I said, “The Pro-Am ain’t the final day of the U.S. Open. The wheels are going to fall off. I guarantee it.”

By the sixth hole, Johnson had not only lost his lead, but dropped a full six shots back to even par. He would go on to shoot the highest round for a third round leader in 99 years.

This would open the door for Els, Love, Mickelson and Woods, all well within striking distance of the workhorse Graeme McDowell and last second qualifier, Havret. Els would even tie the lead at one point, seemingly poised to grab his third US Open.

Then they all sucked. No one could make a putt, no one could hit a shot, and the charge for which we all waited from one of the greatest players in the world would never happen. The drama was there, as they all had a chance to win, and the one who did just sucked less than everyone else.

Havret (the Frenchman who qualified by making a 50-foot putt on the last hole) would have a 15-footer to have a chance to force the playoff. He missed it. Els would have several opportunities, Love would kick himself no less than 50 times after the tournament, and Woods would tell announcers afterward something a long the lines of “It’s like I told Steve. We made three mental mistakes and it cost us the US Open.”  (I thought it was interesting that Tiger was the only one graceful enough to make it a team loss.) Mickelson looked as if he wasn’t sure this was the US Open, looking practically bemused as he hacked it around the course.

It was almost as if this last Father’s Day, every dad on the course would take a day of relaxation, except for the one watching his son, first-time major winner Graeme McDowell, beat the best golfers in the world without once waivering.

Graeme-Mcdowell-and-father

Happy belated Father’s Day, Mr. McDowell. There’s not a father in the world who doesn’t envy you.

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MayoPie is taking sexy back from Justin Timberlake. It’s only a matter of time.

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Tiger’s Wife Divorces Him, Shocks the World

Everyone is talking all of a sudden about how Elin Nordegren and Tiger Woods are going to get divorced. As in this divorce is immediately happening tomorrow or sometime likewise very soon, like this is big news. Whereas yesterday? I guess everyone still presumed they’d be patching all of this together up just fine.

Elin Nordegren

Elin Nordegren

What? Where did everyone get this good shit they’ve been smoking since Thanksgiving? Because hello? Share?

It’s just that really, you know what? I was tired of Tiger Woods and his big life changes and horrifying mistakes a long time ago. I’d say that around Christmas of aught-nine is about when I was tired of all of this and of him. I couldn’t drum up any enthusiasm for his return to the Masters last month and the whole “Phil Mickelson good, Tiger bad” storyline was just stupid. I was psyched for Phil that he won but irritated by the way it, like everything else, was all about Tiger.

Anyway, it is May now and I am ready to sucker punch mere photos of him in a way that is not nice to do.

And then the other day? He had to back out of a golf tournament because he said he may have a bulging DISC in his back which everyone called a bulging DICK accidentally on purpose because they were bored. And I watched his smarmy talk at the reporters after he failed at that tournament and his dumb attempts at stupid jokes and trying to regain the upper hand and I just got really pissed off. I was all, shut up Tiger Woods, I’m so very sick of your mouth.

Tiger Woods on his knees

Tiger Woods on his knees

Because I am. I am sick of him and I am sick of people caring about him. I know this has nothing to do with what he was put on Earth to do, which was to make everyone feel bad and uncomfortable, apparently, and also to play golf better than you. And that I’ll grant him. He played golf better than most anyone ever in the history of the world, and when he was sticking to that? Awesome. When he moved into other social and cultural realms?

Fail.

And overall this has nothing to do with golf, I’ll say again, because I’m sure I’ve said it to someone. This has to do with people , sex, infidelity, imploded marriages, crushingly bad life choices and Tiger on a golf cart crying about his back. This is one of the worst stories I have ever heard that isn’t about golf and I would like it to run its natural course and go away, no more excuses for and from him, just done.

That’s all.

Except? Good luck, Elin, and especially the children. May you go home to Sweden and chill. And may Tiger – eh, I don’t even care.

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LPGA Golfer Blasberg Dead at 25

Erica Blasberg, a member of the LPGA tour, was found dead at her home in Henderson, Nevada, on Sunday. There is no word yet on the cause of death and the investigation is ongoing.

2008 LPGA Championship - Erica Blasberg 1.jpg

Blasberg, who grew up in Corona, California, joined the Futures Tour in 2004. Her only tour win was in the 2005 Lexus Cup, a now defunct match play tournament. Her highest finish on the money list was in 2008, with $113,000. Blasberg also signed an endorsement deal with Puma in 2006.

Her agent, Chase Callahan, was quoted Monday saying,

“She lived out her dream of playing professional golf on the highest level on the LPGA Tour, allowing her to help inspire others. We are proud of Erica for everything she accomplished. This is a painful loss, we feel it in our hearts and we will miss her. Erica would want those close to her to celebrate the life she lived. We ask that you keep Erica and her family in your prayers.”

The Draft Day Suit family sends its condolences to the Blasberg family.

[photo]

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