Draft Day Suit

Don’t drop Troy Polamalu’s hair. It is worth a million dollars.

No, really. Head & Shoulders has insured Polamalu’s curly locks for a cool million.

This is almost as stupid as J-Lo insuring her butt.

How does one collect on this? If Troy gets a bad haircut can he collect? Is it only in case of fire? Is Delilah a pressing threat?

I’m thinking that Head & Shoulders just bought itself  $1 million worth of advertising on AM radio talk shows, Sportscenter and blogs like Draft Day Suit.

Very sneaky.

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Holy crap! Troy and I are on the same wavelength. He also referenced Jennifer Lopez’s ass.

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Sarah was also asking with her eyes.

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Not much going on in MY world of sports. The Indians are out of the pennant race. Unless they’re giving out a “We Suck” pennant this year, in that case they are in the thick of things. For teams going after the regular pennants, they have a good 30+ games to get through yet, so there’s plenty left to be said in MLB.

I’m starting to feel the football vibe, but my most recent fantasy draft netted me Rashard Mendenhall and Randy Moss in my first two rounds. Yes, picking 10th was a huge advantage this year as I was able to get that second, unexciting guy right away. I like my disappointment hot and immediate (and yes I do believe she said that.)

My 5.5-month old son is helping me write this. His favorite sport is the 8-finger keyboard mash, particularly when it results in an alert beep from the PC speaker. I have to watch him though because he’s all over the control and alt keys and frequently brings up previously unknown keyboard shortcut dialogs. “Are you sure you would like to self-destruct your computer?” He and clippy would have been the best of friends.

Hockey is a couple of months away, both NHL and rec style. I have a good feeling I’m going pro this year though!  Keep your fingers crossed.  I have it on good authority that the pros are looking for a lot of 34-year-old rookies.  They just watched and were inspired by that Dennis Quaid movie.

And everything else is kind of blah.  Things are so slow that the Bengals have gone the whole day without an arrest (last check 2 p.m.)!  Talk about a dull sports day!

Oh well, I guess I’ll go back to killing my lawn.  aj[[[ pofeisu 98gea – Oh, and Lincoln says goodbye.

Every year I get so excited that I think I am going to explode.

FOOTBALL! PRESEASON FOOTBALL!

I buy beer. I make chicken wings. (Fine. I ask Gabe to make wings for me.)

This year I made both children wear Bucs jerseys.

We all sat at the living room table to watch FOOTBALL. It was so exciting.

Ten minutes later we were all bored out of our minds. Preseason football is boring. I don’t know these players. The commentators suck. There are always problems with the satellite feeds.

I know this. My husband tells me this before we watch the game. It is true every single year. Every year, every week of preseason it is the same. The games are torture. There are thousands of yards of penalties. The commercials are all for used car dealerships or local bars – not local bars here, but local bars in Kansas City or Jacksonville.

I think – this year I am going to watch all of the preseason games and I will kick ass at fantasy football!

But I can’t. I couldn’t even sit through the first half of the Bucs/Dolphins game.

On one hand, hooray! Football!

On the other hand, it is sort of like watching a little league flag football game except these guys don’t look as cute in helmets, it isn’t funny when they knock each other down and people really get hurt.

Oh, and it is so depressing when the guys get injured in preseason.

Don’t get me wrong – I’ll be watching the games this week. I just know that I will hate them.

Obsession isn’t supposed to make sense.

[photo: ColorPlay Fibers]

Brett Favre announced in a news conference today that he would return to the Minnesota Vikings for another season.

He was so close to the Super Bowl last year, he said, he could feel it. And he “owes it” to the Vikings to give it one more try. He’s not promising he can make it through the season, though, the season that he says will be his “last.”

Right, anyway.

I used to like the guy. Respect him, even. Now, the more I hear his name the more I want to pull my ears off with some rusty pliers. Dude, grow a pair and quit trying to relive your youth. I know that you produced last year but realistically how long will that last? I’m guessing one good sack in the regular season and you’re toast, as if your body isn’t already. You’ll be in a wheelchair before your 40s are over, and then where will you be? Counting your millions while someone has to feed you because you can’t lift your right arm isn’t as glamorous as it sounds. I’m also guessing that the millions that you’ve already earned won’t be enough to buy back the missed time with your family or the time you’ll spend rehabbing all of those joints that are going to have to be replaced.

And you know what? I’m not the only one that’s calling shenanigains on you.

Go home to Hattiesberg. Have a mint julep. Relax a little. Sure, let the tv crew in when they’re ready for a little NFL analysis come playoff time, but quit jacking with your team and your body. The shtick is just old.

You can thank me later, but I’d like my share of whatever you’re paying your therapist now, in small bills. And considering that your salary is reported to hit $16.5 million this year from $13.5 million last year, plus incentives reported to jack it up to almost $20 million, I think you can spare the dimes.

Kendra is ready for some football. But not like this.

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