When the producers of Dancing With The Stars approached Brett Favre about being on the show, one of them mistakenly pronounced his name “FAA-vuh-ruh” and so Brett said no.
Then, he cried,
Which looks suspiciously like an O face. Which leads me to believe that he is as whiny during sex as he is in press conferences and contract negotiations.
Now you’ve thought of Brett Favre’s face while he’s having a crisis. I’m sorry. Anyway, he cried, immediately felt better about the opportunity that Dancing With The Stars could provide in his “I’m Not A Douche, I’m A Great Guy” campaign. He called the producers back and said yes.
Then, they told him that part of the contract included not texting staff members of the show pictures of his penis. Which, by the way, he has lovingly nicknamed “Vlad the Impaler”. Sensing restrictions on his artistry, he said no.
Then he heard that Mischa Barton would be on the show, felt a stirring, deep down in his Wranglers, then said yes.
She suggested he not wear Crocs while dancing. Incensed, he said no.
Then John Madden called, expressed his undying love for Favre and begged him to reconsider. Who can deny John Madden? Favre said yes.
So, near as we can figure, Brett Favre will be on Next Season’s Dancing With The Stars. Having seen the plethora of available internet -based photos of Brett’s trouser snake, I hope he asks the costume designers for an extra sock.