All posts by zchamu

Montreal Is Officially Losing Its Mind

Chara and Pacioretty and Ugh.


It’s a tough video to watch. Zdeno Chara, the 15-foot-tall Captain of the Boston Bruins, lays a check on Max Pacioretty. Pacioretty hits the edge of the glass at the end of the bench and then hits the ice, face down, incapacitated. The Habs trainer is immediately at his side. Play is stopped, and Pacioretty still isn’t moving. Then they pull out the stretcher, while in the background Chara is ushered in to the box.

It wasn’t pretty. Pacioretty was knocked unconscious, with cracked vertebrae and a nasty concussion. His season is over; he’s lucky his career isn’t over.

Pacioretty was victim to a check from an enormous man at a really bad spot on the ice. Chara isn’t really known as a particularly dirty player. He’s just huge, his elbows falling at most people’s ears.

And that’s the way the NHL sees it. The NHL doesn’t seem to mind that Pacioretty has a broken neck. Chara received no further penalties after the game.

There seems to be a theme: if it doesn’t appear to be a ‘retaliatory’ hit then the NHL is letting it go. The two sharp, nasty-looking head shots that ultimately sidelined Sidney Crosby were just game incidents, according to the refs and the NHL. No big thang. So Crosby sits at his parents’ place in Cole Harbour playing xBox because he cannot go 10 days without concussion symptoms and collecting $452,985 every time he takes a crap. All for no big thang.

According to the Concussion Blog, he’s not alone: there have been 72 concussions in the NHL this season alone – and counting.  These hits are nothing new. And if the hit had been the other way around, a Habs player knocking out a Bruins player, the Habs fans would be defending it nine ways to Sunday.

So to call the Montreal Police and ask them to investigate the Chara hit, well, it’s a bit rich. Because for years, for pretty much ever, this is what happens in the NHL. You can’t stand on your feet and cheer when your enforcer drops the gloves and starts pounding another guy in the head, then in the next breath clutch your pearls when someone gets hurt on a check.  This hit had really bad consequences, but it wasn’t a particularly different or more vicious hit than any other average Tuesday night in the NHL.

Of course, Montreal being Montreal, the place that calls 911 when their pizza delivery is late, the place that burns itself down when their team *wins* in the playoffs, nobody could expect them to apply common sense or reasoning to the situation.

Still, maybe this is the crossroads. Maybe this is the part where the fans, the sponsors, the players finally say, something is wrong here. Even if Gary Bettman wants to dig in his abnormally small heels and cover his ears and say “LA LA LA I CAN’T HEAR YOU”, maybe everyone else will finally see it.

70 concussions by March.

Really?

[Image: Shaun Best, Reuters]

Mario Lemieux Quoted In The Press As Stating “Wah, Wah, Wah”

Don't Make Mario Lemieux Angry

Wah wah wah.

So let me get this straight.

Mario Lemieux is the guy who employs Matt Cooke. Matt Cooke is the guy who got away scot-free after giving a guy a two-month concussion by intentionally nailing him in the head. Matt Cooke is also the guy that singlehandedly caused the NHL to change the way they deal with intentional hits to the head.

So when Mario made a statement yesterday about the way the NHL handled the aftermath of the Penguin-Islanders melee on Friday night, really, he should have chosen his words better. Because after reading the entire thing, all I could remember it saying was something like this:

WAH!

WAH!

WAAAAH!

I’M GOING TO TAKE MY TOYS AND GO HOME!

WAAAAAAAAAAH!

God, Mario. Seriously. You may have had a point in that the game went beyond an “entertaining hockey fight” to sheer absurdity. I’ll give you that. But in an atmosphere where whenever the players drop the gloves, the fans cheer just as loudly as they do for goals, in an atmosphere where players are employed specifically for their scrappiness, it’s not shocking in the least that a game gets out of hand occasionally. You think hockey fights like this are shameful? Fine. Then ban all fights. You cannot say that it’s okay to punch someone in the face once during a game, but not fifteen times. You cannot say it’s okay to punch someone in the face as long as you don’t really mean it. Because every 7-year-old watching that game cannot tell the difference, I guarantee you.

You also may have had a point in saying the league needs to handle intentional hits – especially those causing injury – better. I will also give you that.  But you might want to be careful walking around that Matt-Cooke-decorated-glass-house, is all I’m saying.

So threatening to take your toys and go home? Oh please, Mario. What are you gonna do? Sell off your cash cow because the Islanders didn’t get enough suspensions? Claim moral superiority after your goalie broke Matt DiPietro’s face in the first place?

Your words smack of nothing except high horsemanship. And given which team leads the league in penalties, it’s all pretty rich.

Pens vs Isles: And The Crazy Comes To Town

Whew. That was a doozy, wunnit?

The Pittsburgh Penguins came to Long Island, where the Isles had a point to prove. After a goalie-on-goalie slugfest left the Islanders’ DiPietro out for four to six weeks with a broken face last courtesy of Pens’ goalie Brent Johnson Wednesday night, the Islanders prepped for their home-and-home rematch by calling up AHL goon Michael Haley and taping their hands.

You’d think the outcome would be predictable. Sure, if 65 penalties totaling 346 minutes, 10 ejections, 15 fighting majors, 20 misconducts and probably a pile of suspensions is “predictable”.

Upshot: the Isles chopped, slashed, hacked and punched everyone in their sights, and the Pens were obviously scared witless as they got destroyed goal-wise even before the melee began. By the third period it was a free-for-all and both benches barely had enough players left to finish the game, as evidenced by this snapshot from PGHPenguins on Twitter.

This article over at The Hockey Writers is the best summary I’ve seen so far, complete with video clips and NHL regulations.  My favourite moment, though?

Go to about 2:30 of this video and watch Haley getting pulled off Maxime Talbot (snort) and then wander off, looking for something else to do, and head right over to Pens goalie Brent Johnson who was forlornly watching all the fun by himself and looked more than happy to engage with Haley. Until the Pens’ Eric Godard left the bench, earning himself – and likely the coach – a nice hefty suspension and got in Haley’s way.

Twitter, as always, loaned a great dynamic of snark. Favourites included this classic from DownGoesBrown:

Isles fans seemed rather impressed that their team showed up for a change.

And, an excellent point if anyone’s looking for a shot at the NHL:

Not surprisingly, all the NHL had to say about it?Denial. Not just a river in Egypt.

Ultimately, piles of suspensions and fines will be handed out today, likely to both teams, Pittsburgh’s coach, and god knows who else. And lots of people are tsk-tsk-tsking over it this morning, but come on. It’s hockey. This is what we pay exorbitant ticket prices for. A good hockey fight warms up a nice long winter, after all.

Carrie Underwood: Ottawa’s Yoko Ono?

You knew it was only a matter of time.

Hockey player meets starlet singer type. They fall in love, get married, player gets traded somewhere better for his wife’s career. This is the oldest story in the world, people, at least since Wayne Gretzky did it. (And don’t think we’ve forgiven you, Janet.)

It was inevitable and really, there’s no blaming Fisher. He’s a stand up guy, always has been. If anyone could be described as having a heart of gold, he can. Any moment he wasn’t on the ice, he wasn’t out whoring on Elgin Street like his teammates. He was working his butt off for local charities, most of them dedicated to improving the lives of sick kids. This is not a man who would turn his back when the going got rough (*coughcoughHEATLEYMOTHERFUCKERcoughcough*).

The fact of the matter is, Mike Fisher says he would have been overjoyed to play out the rest of his career in Ottawa, and I believe him. What’s more, I also believe that his wife understood that and was willing to spend as much time as was possible in this godforsaken northern tundra.

Still, when the news came that Fisher was traded to Nashville of all places, the inevitable glares went Carrie Underwood’s way. Brazen star-stealing hussy! Nashville tart! But really, let’s be fair. Underwood is really just as kind and sweet as Fisher is (I know. Sickening, right? They’ll give birth to the next Dalai Lama, mark my words.)

The simple truth is that I doubt Underwood pushed anything of the sort. The fact that Bryan Murray chose to think of what might work best for Fisher’s family life was simply a bonus when he was trying to arrange the process of BURNING OUR TERRIBLE HOCKEY TEAM TO THE GROUND. Fisher won’t be the last big trade, trust me on that, and it’s rather thoughtful of Murray to take his players’ lives into account when he ships them out of town. Which, don’t kid yourselves. It’s inevitable.

So really, pulling some bullshit move like banning Carrie Underwood’s music from your radio station is kind of bush league. She’s an international superstar married to one of the kindest hockey players ever. And you’re banning her music because you’re pissed that we traded away her husband while our team is in the crapper.

Right.

Get over yourselves.

Would-Be Cavs Announcer Ted Williams Headed To Rehab

Ted Williams, the homeless man with the amazing radio voice, had a close encounter with Dr Phil this week. As it often does with Dr Phil, it ended in a trip to rehab.

The would-be NBA announcer was panhandling by the side of the road when a journalist decided to videotape him as he displayed his remarkable radio voice.  A YouTube post later, the video went wildly viral and the world changed for Williams, who has struggled with alcohol and drug addictions for decades but claimed he has been sober for 2 years. During that time he has also generated himself a hefty rap sheet.  He became an instant sensation, literally sleeping on the street one night and sleeping in a $too-much-a-night hotel the next. Offers for voiceover work poured  in, from NFL Films, Kraft, MSNBC. The Cleveland Cavaliers offered him an announcer job — and a house.

However, the story does not end on that fairytale note. On an episode of the Dr. Phil show airing today, Williams admits that he has been drinking daily since his whirlwind of fame began.

While this is disappointing, it is also not surprising in the least. Even for someone who has not struggled with the demons of addiction, the stresses of instant fame and the media scrutiny can be overpowering.  For someone who has had to fight them, the temptation to give in to those demons must be devastating. It’s doubtful Williams had any professional help to deal with his addictions previously, and on the street it must be nearly impossible to make any life changes.

But now, Williams is incredibly lucky. He has access to a top-notch rehab facility (Dr Phil. doesn’t cheap out) and the prospects of jobs and a bright future will still lie ahead of him, guaranteed.

That video may have quite literally saved his life.

Williams has demons to fight – his own. Amends to make – to many people he hurt during his years of addiction. And if he can get past those, he’ll also have plays to announce and mac and cheese to shill.  Let’s hope he makes it.

Blog Widget by LinkWithin