All posts by zchamu

Stanley Cup Final, Game 7: It’s Gonna Be Ugly.

By | June 15, 2011 | Hockey, injuries, NHL, playoffs, Rants | Comments Off

This is it.

After 9 months, hundreds of games, four postseason series, several season-ending injuries, questionable refereeing and bad blood, it’s all down to one game.

And oh, what a game it will be.  Bruins vs Canucks. USA vs Canada. Thomas vs Luongo.

And it is Roberto Luongo, and only Roberto Luongo, who will tell the tale, at least in the minds of Canucks fans. It doesn’t matter that Vancouver’s defense has been laughably absent in Boston, their gusto apparently anal-cavity-searched at the border. It doesn’t matter that while Vancouver’s Aaron Rome took off Nathan Horton’s head and was slapped with a four game suspension, Johnny Boychuk was apparently able to snap Mason Raymond’s back in half and not even get a penalty. (Although, WTF?) It doesn’t matter that while Raymond lay immobile on the ice, Bruins fans were cheering. (Ugh.) It doesn’t matter that the Sedin twins have barely shown up the entire final round except to pratfall in front of the refs.

No, it all falls on Bobby Lou’s shoulders. Unfairly, it has to be said. He may have had a couple of spectacular meltdowns in this cup round, but a goaltender does not carry a team alone. On at least two of Luongo’s three epic netsaving failures last night, his own defense was caught flatfooted – when they weren’t completely absent. Add on the dismal fact that on four separate occasions in Game 6, the Canucks whiffed on an empty net behind Tim Thomas. These opportunities, if seized, would  have led to them lifting the cup Monday night.

It’s utterly unfair, then, to hang Luongo out to dry, as if he alone bears the responsibility of carrying the entire Vancouver organization to Cup Glory. But somehow, perhaps, I wonder if hanging him out to dry is exactly what he needs. When he was pulled in Game 4, Vancouver fans cheered – and he came out with a flawless effort in Game 5, just as he did in games 1 and 2. Boston does not agree with Luongo – but Vancouver apparently does. Tim Thomas unfortunately has no geographical requirement to kick ass in this round, but he’s not infallible.  He let two in last night, and it was only the Canucks’ bad luck that he didn’t let in more.

What will we see in Game 7? Look for Vancouver to try to get back to their fast, skilled game. Look for the Bruins to continue chipping, chipping, chipping constantly, particularly on the Sedin twins. Look for the refs to back completely off; they don’t want to take the blame in a game with so much on the line. Look for Luongo to have the game of his life – or to get pulled in the first. He only has two personas: on, or horribly off. We will find out shortly which one will show up for Game 7.

Roll on, Cup Final.

PS: Don’t call Canada Wednesday night. Let’s just say we’ll all be busy.

Winnipeg Can Resume Losing To Edmonton Once Again

By | May 31, 2011 | Hockey, NHL | Comments Off

After many false starts and chewing on rumour after rumour, after building a new arena and many drunken late nights discussing how awesome things would be in this frozen northern tundra if only the Jets would come back to town, Winnipeg has finally secured an NHL team for the 2011-2012 season. The Atlanta Thrashers, who have not made the playoffs in 5 years, will prove no shock to the system for Jets fans – but perhaps the players will now find additional reasons to hustle their asses as they move kit and caboodle off to frigid Winterpeg.

The owners of the Thrashers couldn’t really find any reason to keep the team in Atlanta, given dismal ticket sales, a general lack of interest overall in hockey, and nobody who was willing to pony up anything more than a pack of gum and an old jockstrap to keep the team in town. Atlanta’s loss – and the loss of the players’ wives’ perpetual suntans – will be Winnipeg’s gain,  as the MTS Centre will be the Thrashers’ new home beginning in October 2012.

Perhaps the best part of today’s announcement has been watching Gary Bettman swear through gritted teeth that he’s happy for Winnipeg. “We get to be back in a place we wish we hadn’t left in 1996,” Bettman said, pretending he hasn’t been cackling wildly and smoking cigars made out of old Jets jerseys anytime anyone asked if they could have a team back in town again.

The as-yet-unnamed-Winnipeg-Jets will remain in the southeast division of the eastern conference for the coming season at least, meaning the teams they play the most frequently will be Carolina, Florida, Tampa Bay and Washington. Get your airmiles cards ready, boys, cause you’re gonna be spending a lot of time on transcontinental flights.

But ultimately, what really needs to be said is: Congratulations, Winnipeg. Your hard work paid off.  Have yourselves an extra pint after that first puck drop in October. You deserve it.

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Idiot Hockey Agent Makes Sean Avery Look Like The Good Guy

By | May 10, 2011 | Crazy People, Hockey, NHL, Rants, WTF? | Comments Off

Oh look, Sean Avery’s in the news again for opening his mouth. Except this time? Avery’s not the one being a douchebag!

No, that role is being entirely left to hockey agent Todd Reynolds.

The brouhaha began when Avery recently appeared in a video for the New Yorkers for Marriage Equality campaign.

“I’m Sean Avery and I’m a New Yorker for Marriage Equality. I treat everyone the way I expect to be treated and that applies to marriage,” Avery says in the video.

“Committed couples should be able to marry the person they love.  Join me in supporting marriage equality.”

Hockey agent Reynolds was apparently more outraged about this than he was about Avery’s crappy misogynistic comments about Elisha Cuthbert way back when – comments that nearly cost him his NHL career. He took to his (business) twitter account:

So let me get this straight. You say it’s sad and misguided and wrong, but heaven forbid anyone say you’re hateful and a bigot because how could you possibly be a hateful bigot when all you’re doing is…. stating a hateful bigoted opinion?

Aside from that, though, the bigger issue in terms of  Reynolds’ comments is that he used his business twitter account – @uptownhockey – to send them. So instead of saying them as an individual, he said them on behalf of the business. This could pose a significant problem for Reynolds’ clients, most of whom are millionaires and in the public eye and who would not want to be publicly associated with someone with unpopular anti-gay comments – and, more problematic for Reynolds, one of them is married to a superstar entertainer in the music industry, where anti-gay sentiment is a career ender. Fisher and Underwood must most certainly be considering their options when it comes to Fisher’s association with Reynolds, particularly since they are both the ultimate in Squeaky Clean Nice People.

However, the most mindboggling part of this entire debacle is this: he made Sean Avery the guy on the high road. Avery! High Road! It’s almost unfathomable. To sum, in the immortal words of @downgoesbrown:

Bettman Says the Problem Isn’t Head Shots, the Problem is YOUR MOM

By | March 15, 2011 | Crazy People, Dain Bramage, Hockey, injuries, NHL, Rants | 3 Comments

Just a love tap.

Seriously, Bettman? Seriously?

Your proposed “solution” to this little problem you  have, also known as  “players are taking each other’s heads off to the tune of 79 concussions this season and counting”, is to make sure that a team doctor takes the player to the training room to see if they can still count to five *instead* of doing it at the bench. That’s your big idea, your big braniac wave of genius to stop your marquee players from sitting out most of the season or spending the entire playoff run thanking their lucky stars they only  have a broken neck as opposed to, you know, BEING DEAD.

Jesus Christ, Bettman. You’ve got enormous, 200-lb 6-foot-3 guys wearing fucking body armour moving as fast as they can with the sole intent of slamming each other into the nearest hard surface they can find.  And in all this, something seems to have escaped your notice. So, here’s a hint, dude: Guys are getting hurt. And your solution, your great big Messiah move to fix this, is to make sure doctors check out the guy who just got brained in the training room instead of on the bench.

In other words, you’re doing exactly nothing to prevent more hits. You just want to make sure the next time someone gets brained, they get checked in to the hospital sooner ’cause then they’re back on the ice for the next hit sooner. Right?

This will fix nothing, you are a fool, and the ultimate reality here is that someone is going to die. I hate typing this because one, it sounds so overly fucking dramatic and two, I am not a fan of invoking death generally. But this is what is going to happen, and Pacioretty’s just lucky it didn’t happen to him. With the injuries that are happening now, it’s only a matter of time. And because you’re such a fucking blockhead, it’s obvious that that’s the only thing that it’s going to take to get you to change the rules.

I don’t watch hockey because of the hits. I don’t watch hockey because of the fights. I watch hockey because it’s fast and slick and I like watching the plays and the puck move and wicked goalie saves. Removing headshots from the game won’t change anything except maybe saving someone’s life.

Montreal Is Officially Losing Its Mind

By | March 11, 2011 | Bad calls, Crazy People, Dain Bramage, Hockey, NHL | Comments Off

Chara and Pacioretty and Ugh.


It’s a tough video to watch. Zdeno Chara, the 15-foot-tall Captain of the Boston Bruins, lays a check on Max Pacioretty. Pacioretty hits the edge of the glass at the end of the bench and then hits the ice, face down, incapacitated. The Habs trainer is immediately at his side. Play is stopped, and Pacioretty still isn’t moving. Then they pull out the stretcher, while in the background Chara is ushered in to the box.

It wasn’t pretty. Pacioretty was knocked unconscious, with cracked vertebrae and a nasty concussion. His season is over; he’s lucky his career isn’t over.

Pacioretty was victim to a check from an enormous man at a really bad spot on the ice. Chara isn’t really known as a particularly dirty player. He’s just huge, his elbows falling at most people’s ears.

And that’s the way the NHL sees it. The NHL doesn’t seem to mind that Pacioretty has a broken neck. Chara received no further penalties after the game.

There seems to be a theme: if it doesn’t appear to be a ‘retaliatory’ hit then the NHL is letting it go. The two sharp, nasty-looking head shots that ultimately sidelined Sidney Crosby were just game incidents, according to the refs and the NHL. No big thang. So Crosby sits at his parents’ place in Cole Harbour playing xBox because he cannot go 10 days without concussion symptoms and collecting $452,985 every time he takes a crap. All for no big thang.

According to the Concussion Blog, he’s not alone: there have been 72 concussions in the NHL this season alone – and counting.  These hits are nothing new. And if the hit had been the other way around, a Habs player knocking out a Bruins player, the Habs fans would be defending it nine ways to Sunday.

So to call the Montreal Police and ask them to investigate the Chara hit, well, it’s a bit rich. Because for years, for pretty much ever, this is what happens in the NHL. You can’t stand on your feet and cheer when your enforcer drops the gloves and starts pounding another guy in the head, then in the next breath clutch your pearls when someone gets hurt on a check.  This hit had really bad consequences, but it wasn’t a particularly different or more vicious hit than any other average Tuesday night in the NHL.

Of course, Montreal being Montreal, the place that calls 911 when their pizza delivery is late, the place that burns itself down when their team *wins* in the playoffs, nobody could expect them to apply common sense or reasoning to the situation.

Still, maybe this is the crossroads. Maybe this is the part where the fans, the sponsors, the players finally say, something is wrong here. Even if Gary Bettman wants to dig in his abnormally small heels and cover his ears and say “LA LA LA I CAN’T HEAR YOU”, maybe everyone else will finally see it.

70 concussions by March.

Really?

[Image: Shaun Best, Reuters]

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