Joey Porter

Legally, this past week has been a mixed one for sports. Gilbert Arenas received his sentence on Friday for bringing guns into the locker room. The Ben Roethlisberger case continues to twist and turn. And early Saturday morning, Cardinals’ linebacker Joey Porter was arrested.

On the upside, it sounds like Porter’s offenses aren’t too terrible. He was arrested outside of a Taco Bell on suspicion of drunk driving (is there really any denying this? I’ve never found myself sober at a Taco Bell in the wee hours of the morning) and has been accused of assaulting a police offer and resisting arrest. Certainly, stupid offenses. Bad Porter.

However, the details of the incident made me giggle. Initial reports stated that Porter first refused to show the officer his driver’s license and tried to roll up his window when he asked to leave the car. Then, when the officer reached to unlock the door Porter slapped his hand.

The whole thing just sounds so…petulant. Unfortunately, Porter did not think to cooperate right away, more officers were called and guns drawn. No word yet on what the Cardinals think about this incident, *checks watch* eight days after signing Porter.

Hopefully, it won’t blow up. I really like Porter and I think that this was a genuine mistake. However, drunk driving is pretty serious and it would behoove him to condemn such behavior.

[Source]

Antwaan Randle El

It’s been a rough year for Steeler fans. Our season sucked. Polamalu was struck down by the Madden Curse. And several of our more prominent players took it upon themselves to act like psychopaths, which is really problematic for an organization that strives to remain above the cliches of dumb, young, rich athletes gone wild. (I realize that I’m probably being way too flippant about serious matters like sexual assault accusations. I just don’t want to get into it right now.)

But there was some promising news on Tuesday. Wide receiver Antwaan Randle El re-signed with the Steelers for a three-year deal after being released from the Washington Redskins, where he’s played the last four seasons. Randle El left Pittsburgh on a high note in 2006, tossing a 43-yard touchdown pass to Hines Ward to win Super Bowl XL. During his last year in Washington, however, he started only three of the team’s 16 games.

As Ward gets a tiny bit older, it will be good to have someone like Randle El on the roster. Wide receiver Limas Sweed is still a little…dodgy.

Ashton Gibbs

I thought last night’s game against Providence was over. Brad Wanamaker was unable to secure the tie-breaking shot and then fouled. After they were able to pull ahead by 1 with 3.5 seconds to go, I left the room in disgust. I was in the kitchen when I heard my husband yelp, “HUH HO! OH MY GOD!” I ran back in asking what happened and he could only answer, “GIBBS!”

I watched the replay in disbelief. Gibbs took the ball, made several inhumanly long strides to just past mid-court, and just milliseconds before time ran out, drained a 3-pointer that seemed to come directly from heaven.

The win secured them a double-bye in the Big East tournament and maintained their chance to be seeded #2. They also vindicated themselves against Providence, who beat Pitt last season. Awesome game and incredible fodder for the highlight reel. Video of the amazing moment is here.

Bob Costas

If you were hoping to watch sporting events this Olympics, allow me to chuckle at your cute naivete. If, however, you’re really into commercials, Bob Costas’ fireplace, and blimp shots, then you are probably in media heaven these days.

Complaints about NBC’s coverage of these games is nothing new. My Twitter friends have been pretty vocal about it and we even heard from our own HeadlessMom about the absurdity of not being able to see coverage of the Olympics, even though they’re happening in her own time zone.

But what separates bitching and serious criticism is raw data and David Bireman at the Wall Street Journal has given fuel to our fire.

An analysis of NBC’s 3 ½-hour program Friday night showed that there were 56 minutes, 41 seconds of commercials over 24 breaks—that’s three more minutes than actual event action that was showed.

Even more damning? This chart:

NBC Olympics Coverage Breakdown

By the way, charts = science, so don’t even try to question it, mkay?

Obviously, this is not groundbreaking bad coverage. Most major sports events have a similar focus on advertising dollars over actual sports. But I think people are angry because the Olympics offer a chance to see sports that you don’t normally catch. I get that it’s a rare marketing opportunity, but the fact that these events can captivate even the most indifferent viewer should be at least a little respected and NBC should let us see a little more of the awe-inspiring feats that we tuned in to see in the first place.

I didn’t think there was really much room for scandal in ski jumping. You sit at the top, go really fast down the hill, jump, lean forward at a freakish angle while birds look UP at you and say, “Holy *&^),” then land gracefully. Repeat. But, alas, there is a ski jumping scandal afoot.

Apparently, Austria and Switzerland are BIG ski jumping rivals. And the Austrian team isn’t quite sure that Swiss ski jumper Simon Ammann earned his gold medal last Saturday in an honest manner. They informed the International Ski Federation that they suspect Ammann is using improper bindings on his skis, which allow him to be flatter in the air and therefore go much farther. The bindings are also generally considered unsafe.

The Austrian team informed the ISF and the Associate Press that if Ammann does not change his bindings for tomorrow’s event, they will protest the results. Well, they’ll protest if he beats an Austrian, that is.

NBC has the full story and video of Ammann’s gold medal run. Take a look. What do you think? Something not right there?

Two things about this post before I get into it:

1) Yes, I know. What Super Bowl? The Olympics are starting today. Live in the now! And

2) It probably says something about me that this is the second post in so many weeks that I have written about someone in the NFL using some form of the F word. It’s a good word and applicable to many situations. What’s not to like?

Nonetheless, this is a pretty funny story that I know is helping me to chuckle through this weekend’s forecast (shocker: snow).

During a post-win interview with New Orleans radio station WWL, a reporter asked Saints’ offensive lineman Carl Nicks how he felt about defeating the Indianapolis Colts and adding the first ever Lombardi trophy to the Saints’ mantle.

Nicks was, understandably, ebullient and apparently not paying too careful attention to what was coming out of his mouth and whether or not it was kosher.

I haven’t heard anything about Nicks receiving any punishment for his blunder as it was pretty extraordinary circumstances. But I hope he does go to Disneyland and I hope he has a perfectly G-rated good time.

In a more innocent, less technologically connected time, such an incident would have simply passed into the ether of legend. But, of course, Ryan’s digit quickly spread all over the internet and resulted in a significant fine. The Jets, however, will not punish Ryan further.

With both this and the LeBron James incident, I understand why the fines were so high. The professional leagues have pretty narrow definitions of personal conduct and while they don’t always prevent jackass behavior, the low tolerance is a good policy and, in a perfect world, encourages low-key decorum…off the field or court at least.

$50,000 is a lot but I think gets the point across and ending the punishment there seems pretty reasonable.

Now we just need to question Ryan’s attendance at an MMA event. Those things aren’t exactly gentlemanly.

If you’d like to see what a $50,000 finger looks like, you can view it after the jump. Send the kids out of the room so that they’re not blinded by the sheer blinginess of it.

The first was by Joel Branstrom, the coach for Olathe’s girls’ basketball team. He made a bet with the student body that if he made a basket from mid-court, while blindfolded, he would win tickets to the Final Four. The students decided to play a prank on Branstrom: they would cheer when he would, of course, miss the shot and make him think he had won. This would work out well because there were, in fact, no tickets to be had.

The only kink in this plan? Branstrom made the shot.

The students made up for the prank by giving their super-human coach a gift certificate to a Mexican restaurant. (In Kansas? Uh, no thanks). Fortunately, since the story has gone national, there have been offers to donate the tickets.

What makes this story even weirder is that a Kansas City, Missouri, reporter who was on location to report on the freak basket added some color to his commentary by tossing a basketball over his head, in a not-at-all serious attempt to make a backward basket.

He made the shot. No, really. And check out his face when the other people there tell him that he made it. He can’t believe it.

I think I’ve made a total of two baskets in my entire life. Maybe it’s time for me to pay Olathe a visit.

Unless something goes horribly awry, San Antonio Spurs captain Tim Duncan will score his 20,000th point tonight in the team’s game against Houston.

The big moment should have come on Wednesday night, but Duncan fouled out during the Spurs’ game against Utah. There was a twinge of disappointment on his face, but the bigger concern was that this was the Spurs’ fourth loss to the Jazz.

However, if/when Duncan hits the milestone tonight, he will join a very elite club, as he will be only the 35th player in the league to accomplish it. Good luck, Tim!

If you have the Showtime channel, I strongly urge you to check out the documentary Jump! that they are airing throughout January. The documentary follows five competitive jump rope teams in their quest to the World Championship.

I’m particularly drawn in by the kids who are on double Dutch teams. Double Dutch is one of those things that I always wished that I could do but, despite being a ballet dancer for 14 years, was never coordinated enough to master.