All posts by CroutonBoy

You thought the “Super Bowl Shuffle” was bad? Check out this gem from MY TEAM from back in the days of Dave Kreig and Curt Warner.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-9AdWthjfU]

To answer some of your questions:

• Yes, that’s former Vikings head coach Mike Tice. Betcha he still wishes he had that much hair
• and yes, that dude’s playing a saxophone in the shower
• and no, they didn’t win shit that year. Just like the year before. and the year after. and the year after….and so on

Is it March already?

You know what that means….

It’s time for CroutonBoy to come out of the hole he has been living in since the end of the NFL season and bask in the glorious light of the NCAA Tournament.

I fucking LOVE the first weekend of March Madness. I have watched exactly 1 college basketball game all year, and aside from the annual dusting off of the “Go Zags!” poster now hanging in my office I have no favorites or preconceived notions of who should win. I could really care less.

What I do want, though, is to watch a bunch of kids from Virginia Commonwealth or Winthrop play their brains out and send a few over-confident, recruit-heavy schools home early.

I love standing at a bar in the middle of a Friday afternoon, four games playing simultaneously on the TVs that encircle me, surrounded by complete strangers caught up in the same moment I am, and knowing that there’s still 8 more games to watch.

FUCK YEAH!

Of course, if my Zags don’t make it past this weekend, I’ll get frightened and crawl back into my hole, signaling six more weeks of winter. But for one weekend EVERYONE has a shot. You can forget A-Rod’s whining, NBA suspensions, and the sport they play on ice…what’s it called again?

See you at the bar, people. I’ll be there by noon.

A few months back I posted a draft guide for Fantasy Football to help those of you whose skills are inferior to mine (i.e. all of you) could get some insights into the mind of a FFL genius. As always, though, the fantasy football season has thrown some curve-balls our way, and I thought it might be worth reviewing my recommendations (not all of which I took this year) and seeing if they indeed paid off.

1. Never draft a player coming off season-ending injury: I still think this is a good rule (see Daunte Culpepper) but there’s some wiggle room. It was looking like I’d have to back off of this rule, but I think injury begets injury (see Donovan McNabb) and gets you off to a slow start (see Carson Palmer). The more appropriate statement might be “don’t draft a player coming off an injury too high.”
2. Don’t draft a player with “personality issues”: I still completely believe this. TO has only had half a good season (remember the “suicide attempt?”) and Randy Moss speaks for himself.
3. Never draft Fred Taylor: Taylor is currently the 12th best back in the league in the BlogPound scoring system. And consistent, too. Apparently, this rule only applies to me.
4. Your #3 RB is as important as your #2 WR: This depends on the scoring system, of course, but I think this holds true. Ask the Shaun Alexander, Clinton Portis or Wali Lundy owners who didn’t have a legit #3 what that was like. And those bye weeks can KILL you if you’re starting any Jet RB. Meanwhile there’s about a dozen free agent WRs who are probably outperforming your #2 WR (I’m looking at you, Chris Chambers…)
5. A stud TE is more important than your #2 WR: Still true. Ask the Todd Heap and Kellen Winslow owners out there. But they’re maddeningly inconsistent (Ben Watson, Heath Miller…ARGH!)
6. Avoid all Lions: I can’t believe it, but this rule may be ready for retirement. Kevin Jones and Roy Williams have been awesome, and even Kitna and Mike Furrey have been decent. Mike Martz, I commend you. I shall replace this rule with “Avoid all Raiders”
7. Be careful with great players that switch teams: This shall henceforth be named the Edgerrin James rule. Need I say more?
8. Know your rules: Absolutely positively yes. I have a league that gives a point per reception, so I went after Kevin Jones and Brian Westbrook over trendy picks like Cadillac Williams and Ronnie Brown. It’s been a HUGE payoff.
9. Try not to draft players from a team you love: More of a guideline than a rule. But as a Seahawk fan it’s been much easier dealing with their recent injury problems knowing that they weren’t also killing my team, too.
10. Don’t ignore the kicker: I’ll give this a “yes, but.” I think it’s important, but it’s not gonna kill your draft if you don’t get a stud kicker. Why? Because Robbie Gould went undrafted this year, just like Neil Rackers did last year. Just sayin’….
11. Save defenses for last: Ugh. I may need to revise this one, too. I’ve been swapping out defenses like Oakland, New Orleans, and Seattle all year to try to stop the bleeding (I’ve even started the Cardinals a couple times) while people who have Chicago and Baltimore are crushing their opponents. This should probably be merged with the TE rule above.

I should probably add one additional rule, which is “don’t think your draft is the key to your season.” Because it’s not. Just because you drafted Lamont Jordan in the first round doesn’t mean you’ll get first round numbers from him, or be able to trade him for another first round pick. Don’t hold on to guys too long because of where you drafted them, and don’t think that just because Eli Manning is playing well doesn’t mean you shouldn’t pick up Tony Romo.

My apologies to all of you who ignored my initial advice and are now out of the playoffs, but you were warned. At least you’ll be ready for next year.