When TWINS Have Twins | Draft Day Suit

When TWINS Have Twins

Joe Mauer of the Minnesota TWINS welcomed another set of the same into his life, only these will call him Daddy.  It’s impressive, because while most fathers in the USA take a week or so off for the birth of their children, Mauer was placed on paternity leave to be with this family.  As a mother of twins myself, as is Sarah, I’d like to take a moment to tip my hat and award him TEN THOUSAND MAN POINTS.

A newborn baby is a 24/7 man to man operation. Twins though, is that to an order of magnitude I can’t even calculate.  I dimly remember those days, and my twins weren’t in the NICU or at risk. Sarah might have better glimpses into that dark past than I. I feel like my brain exfoliated those memories to keep me from returning to that sleep deprivation/overwhelmed beyond all reason times. I applaud him for being there for his wife and new baby girls.

I have some helpful advice for those of you in the sports world who want to leave Joe and his family good wishes on blogs or twitter or however else one communicates these days. It’s a list of things none of us multiple parents wants to hear. From the cliche to the downright rude, some things Sarah, I or even now Joe and his wife, never really want to hear.

  • Wow so you’re done now? ~ That’s rude. Hush.
  • OOO DOUBLE TROUBLE! – Cliche. Just don’t.
  • Oh you’ve got your hands full! ~ If you don’t cluck like an old hen when you say this, I don’t get the full effect.
  • Were they natural? ~ How they were conceived really isn’t your business. If the answer is yes, should they elaborate on their favorite positions?
  • Hoohoo you’re on your way to your own basketball team! ~ Insert any other sports team here. It’s tiresome.
  • Do twins run in your family? ~ This is not the worst.  I will give you a pass if you ask this one.
  • My babies are X months apart, they’re just like twins too. ~ No. No they aren’t. Were they carried around inside your body simultaneously while every bone and muscle in your midsection felt like it was going to explode? No? Not twins.
  • Twins are easier because they have someone to play with. ~ They aren’t CATS.
  • OH two for the price of one! Lucky! ~ No. They charge you double for everything at the hospital. Sorry.

This is a short list, I am sure Sarah has some more. But do this new TWINS twin family a favor, leave off the cliches and if you aren’t sure what to say, say CONGRATULATIONS!

*Image courtesy nj.com

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About the author
I am a transplanted Hoosier who resides in the Atlanta metro area. I'm a die hard Colts fan and as far as I'm concerned you aren't a fan unless you suffered through Jeff George as a quarterback. I'll give you a pass if you weren't born yet, but mostly if you weren't standing beside the highway cheering the Mayflower trucks into town on the night we stole that team, well then you aren't a fan. Additionally I think that wearing a pink jersey is a brilliant way to pwn an opposing team's player. If you pick your fantasy team based on uniform color or a players "Hot Butt" - well I'm sorry you may not sit with me during games. I only speak dead languages fluently and I like to wear things that make no sense.

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3 Replies to When TWINS Have Twins

  1. I pretty much still want to punch people that say “My kids are 22 months apart. That is the same as twins.”

    When they say that shit I just close my eyes and wish really, really hard that one day they have triplets.

  2. I would also like to commend The Minnesota Twins and MLB for giving a man a good paternity leave.

    High five, MLB.

  3. norm says:

    Hear hear.

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