I was at a Redskins game the day Washington dropped Chris Cooley from its roster. The fans were incensed. I was confused. When was the last time Chris Cooley played in a game? Hadn’t he been injured for two years? But the Cooley jerseys were out in full force, and this was a preseason game. Redskins fans were genuinely upset. All I could think of was this:
and this:
and this:
But to be honest it was mostly that third thing because once you watch a video of a football player spraying Pam directly into his mouth you are never quite the same.
Chris Cooley missed 20 games in his last (well, 2009-2011) three seasons with the Washington Redskins. Don’t the fans remember that? His knee has been a recurring problem.
Let’s pretend for a moment we can all get beyond the fact that when he was posting pictures of his playbook on the internet he also posted a picture of his junk (as you can see above) which is not only tasteless and stupid but also totally confusing – why don’t you put on some underpants and learn your plays? HE POSTED THE REDSKINS PLAYS ON THE INTERNET. Plays are supposed to be secret. Not a trustworthy fellow, are we Chris?
Excluding football games, to the best of my knowledge I have only been in the same room as Chris Cooley one time, but I can tell you that he spent his time whining to a room full of sports bloggers and newspaper people about how pissed off he was when people violated his privacy by tweeting about which bar they saw him at on a Wednesday night.
It was unclear if he was busted by his coach, his wife, or his mom.
I like to make fun of Chris Cooley because he is such an easy target and I like to harass the Redskins for the same reason, but the truth is that if I am stuck watching this team every Sunday until I can move back into me house where my Sunday Ticket lives, it is nice to see them playing well. This is the first time Washington has had an exciting offense in the almost 7 years I have lived here and they are actually fun to watch. If Cooley can stay healthy and focused he might even be a good re-addition.
Is re-addition a word?
Doesn’t matter.
Because deep down inside I have almost missed this sort of nonsense.
Penis Photo: Playingthefield.net
Cooley Fumble Photo: Chris McIsaac
I keep reading this as The Coolio Factor, but there is nothing, and I mean NOTHING cool about spraying PAM in your mouth. That’s even grosser than his junk. That’s the one I’m trying to cleanse from my brain. (And if I successfully accomplish that, I’ll cleanse the image of his junk, too.) You’ve must have drunk some bad Cooley-Aid.