Buccaneers Hire New Head Coach

Today the Tampa Bay Buccaneers finally hired a new head coach. Was it Mike Sherman? Marty Schottenheimer? Brad Childress? Wade Phillips? Joe Philbin? Chip Kelley?

Nope. The Bucs made a five year deal with Greg Schiano.

Who?

Greg Sciano.

Who the hell is Greg Sciano?

Well, I’m glad you asked.

Greg Sciano was the head coach of the Rutgers Scarlet Knights for the last ten years. Before that, he was the defensive coordinator for the University of Miami. Before that, he was an assistant coach for the Bears and Penn State. Before that he was a graduate assistant at Penn State and Rutgers. Before that he had a high school football coaching job. Before that he was a linebacker at Bucknell. Before that he was probably in high school.

And now he is the head coach for my beloved Tampa Bay Buccaneers and we will just pretend I didn’t cringe every time I typed Penn State in that last sentence.

Basically, Ray Rice was all “Woo hoo! Way to go coach!” and I was all “If this gives the Bucs a shot at Ray Rice I am cool with you guys hiring his mom as head coach.” And everybody else was all “Who?”

Ray Rice is a free agent and a total badass and he played for Sciano at Rutgers.

Yes, I know he wants to stay with the Ravens, but a girl can dream, right?

I personally wish Mr. Sciano the best of luck in Tampa and think he should go eat at Mise en Place when he gets there because that place is awesome. I also hope he can bring home a winning season next year, but as a Bucs fan I don’t expect much. It would be a step up if we only lost nine in a row.