Archive for July, 2011

When An Umpire Becomes a Hashtag

By | July 29, 2011 | Bad calls, Baseball, MLB | 2 Comments

Jim Joyce. Don Denkinger. How many umpires or referees can you name? I’ll bet you only know their names because of a famous bad call. Add Jerry Meals to that list.

In case you were not up at 2:30 am Wednesday watching the Pirates and Braves, here’s what happened. The game was in the bottom of the 19th, (yes, you read that right, the NINETEENTH inning) six and a half hours after the game began, with the score tied 3-3. Julio Lugo was on third. Braves’ pitcher Scott Proctor hit a ground ball that was fielded by Pedro Alvarez, who threw to Michael “The Fort” McKenry. The throw arrived in McKenry’s glove well ahead of Lugo and well in front of the plate. Umpire Jerry Meals was in a great position to make the easy call.

Except he called Lugo safe.

Needless to say, all hell broke loose at Turner Field. See for yourself.

And that’s what the Atlanta TV guys had to say.

My twitter stream exploded, though I’m betting that was nothing compared to what was being said the Pirates’ locker room. And in the morning, the hashtag #jerrymealssaysitssafe was trending.

It continued on all day and shows little sign of going away any time soon, at least not in Pittsburgh.

As for the Pirates, Manager Clint Hurdle encouraged his players to express their frustration, but public comment has been limited. Frank Coonelly’s statement says it all on behalf of the team.

Later in the day, Jerry Meals made the following statement:

Pertaining to the play that ended the game as last night, as [Scott] Proctor hit the groundball to [third baseman Pedro] Alvarez…as he fielded the ball and threw home, I got into position to make the call. [Catcher Michael] McKenry caught the ball, made a swipe tag attempt at Lugo sliding. I did not see any tag After that, I ruled him safe.

After coming into the locker room, I reviewed the incident through our videos that we have in here and after seeing a few of them, on one particular replay, I was able to see that Lugo’s pant leg moved ever so slightly when the swipe tag was attempted by McKenry. That’s telling me that I was incorrect in my decision and that he should have been ruled out and not safe.

It takes guts to admit you’re wrong. He’s never gonna be my favorite ump but he’s human. He made a mistake. He admitted it. Moving on. That’s exactly what I expect Clint Hurdle is encouraging his players to do.

[source]

McNabb to Vikings?

By | July 28, 2011 | Football, NFL | 3 Comments

It looks as if the Redskins and the Vikings have completed their trade for McNabb, bringing Donovan to the Vikings and the Redskins getting… anything they could get.  Couple of draft picks or something. Does it matter? I think what matters most is the the Redskins decided that 78 million dollars can be better spent. For example:

You could buy one of those tiny giraffes from the DirectTV commercials.

You could buy everything in the “As Seen On TV” store.

You could rent high profile billboards on major interstates for the sole purpose of mocking Brett Favre, and even have enough leftover for… 300 flying cars.

Now I ask you: What’s better? Donovan McNabb or 300 flying cars?

The answer: One flying car is better. If you even thought about this question, you have been eliminated. (taps index card on podium, offers disapproving head wag)

Next Question:

Would you rather have 70 cars that turn into boats, or one Donovan McNabb for 4 months?

If you answered Donovan McNabb, you are dead inside. Boat cars are one of God’s greatest gifts to man. Imagine you go to the beach with your friends, turn to one and say, “Hey, you want to go to Cuba?” How fucking cool would that be? You could basically have your own navy of awesome boat cars… or Donovan McNabb.  And your boat car will never whine about its knee and will eventually learn the overtime rules. Is there really a choice here? No.

Next question. This one’s for double the points:

How many Brett Favres does it take to screw in a light bulb?

“Screw? Who said screw? Yee-haw!!”  -Brett Favre

(See? If I had 78 million dollars, this is exactly the kind of thing I would do on billboards all over the country. Then I would just fly around in my fleet of awesome flying cars and laugh all of the time.)

The terms of the Minnesota deal weren’t disclosed, but it’s probably in the 35 flying car range. And if you remember our formula from earlier (1 flying car = better than Donovan McNabb), you can extrapolate that the Vikings got ripped off.

Tarvaris Jackson is now in Seattle, and if you listen closely, you can still hear Seahawk fans cheering, “Oh.”

Can you tell I’m still bitter about the lockout? Well, I am. Whatever.

NFL — Game On

By | July 26, 2011 | Football, NFL | 2 Comments

I teared up a little bit when I saw the news.

Also - Rutherfordbhaze. How awesome is that?



The vote was unanimous. All 32 team representatives speaking for 1,900 members of the NFL Players Association voted to accept the 10 year deal presented to them by the NFL owners. This lockout had been going on since March – the longest in NFL history and the first NFL work stoppage in 24 years. Now, I won’t go into how old I am, but I can tell you that while I was watching football back then, I certainly wasn’t aware of the goings on of the players union. I was far more concerned about what Duran Duran and Bon Jovi were doing and as far as football went as long as the Bucs were winning I was happy.

Of course Tampa Bay didn’t win many football games back then. I guess some things haven’t changed that much. The Bucs are still in rough shape and I’ve seen both Bon Jovi and Duran Duran live this year, but other things have changed a lot! Now I run a sports blog and play in six or seven (fine, ten) fantasy football leagues every year. I also find myself caring deeply about player labor issues.

Being a grown up is so weird.

The short story is that the players and the owners both thought they were entitled to more money. Four and a half months later they came to an agreement where nobody got exactly what they wanted, but everyone could live with, just in time to get all of their paperwork straightened out before the NFL season starts on September 8.

Will the players be in shape by then? Will the rookies have time to learn the plays? Is there going to be a regular pre-season?

I really am mostly asking about the pre-season thing because the pre-season schedule has mysteriously disappeared from the NFL website and I was going to try to score tickets to the Redskins hosting my beloved Buccaneers now that I know there will in fact be football.

You know what? I can live without the preseason. For now I will just be happy there will be a regular season and start worrying about free agency and salary caps and making my draft charts for fantasy football. I guess I can also start grumbling about the rumors that Brett Favre and Tiki Barber are both trying to come out of retirement.

Did you think I was kidding about the tears? I wasn’t. I could stay mad at them for making me suffer all summer long. I am still disappointed at the levels of greed displayed by both sides but I would still rather watch a football game than a sitcom. I still get amped up when I hear the Monday Night Football song.

I still love the NFL.

* * *

Originally written for BlogHer.com

Let’s Go Bucs

By | July 15, 2011 | Baseball, MLB | 2 Comments

After 18 consecutive losing seasons, the formerly hapless Pittsburgh Pirates headed into the All-Star break four games over .500 and exactly ONE game out of the division lead. The local TV guys were speculating last Sunday afternoon about a possible run for the division during the second half of the season, or at least the wildcard. Just getting to .500 used to be the elusive dream and (ZOMG) now we’re talking playoffs!

The statistics are staggering for this 2011 edition of the Buccos.

Last year, win #45 came on September 3. This year? July 6. They matched last year’s road win total (17) on June 1.

The last time they sent three players to the All-Star game? 1990.

Closer Joel Hanrahan gives a whole new meaning to HammerTime. He’s 26 for 26 in save opportunities this season. Only one reliever in the majors, Craig Kimbrel, has more saves and he’s only got one more than Hanrahan.

All this from an opening day payroll of $46 million. That makes the Pirates 27th out of 30 MLB teams in payroll. For comparison, the Yankees were over $201 million on opening day.

Despite a high number of injuries, resulting in a roster heavy with minor league call-ups, the team is playing better than it has in YEARS. Both starting catchers went down the same week, and the top minor-league prospect was also injured. The team went shopping and snagged the Red Sox AAA catcher, Mike McKenry, who happened to be grocery shopping in Pawtucket when he got the call. He’s a wall behind the plate, A WALL, and finally got the bat going last Friday night with his first major league home run to win the game. Someone really needs to get on making a Fort McKenry shirt. I’ll be first in line to buy one.

Speaking of shirts, I’m not afraid to buy a shirt with a player’s name and number on it anymore. The Pirates were sure to sell or trade their best players in August, usually the guy whose name was on the shirt I just bought. Eleanor is still sporting a Freddie Sanchez. This year, the Pirates look to be buyers, not sellers, as the trade deadline approaches.

Most of all, and if you’ve ever seen Bull Durham or Major League you know what I’m talking about, the players and coaches are having an absolute blast. Anyone who saw the Pirates’ dugout under John Russell’s leadership saw a team having absolutely.no.fun.at.all.thank.you.very.much. Clint Hurdle is in a whole other much happier universe. He actually remembers baseball is a GAME. For Clint, winning two in a three game series isn’t a problem, it’s a “Meatloaf series” because two out of three ain’t bad.

I’m gushing, I know, but these Pirates are totally gush-worthy. I’m wishing I could be at the ballpark every night. (It’s always been a really beautiful park, even when the team sucked.) The city is responding and sell-outs are regular happenings, rather than noteworthy events.

The national media is taking notice, too. Andrew McCutchen was interviewed during coverage of the home run derby. The big guns are mentioning Pittsburgh and saying really nice things, not making jokes. I just wish they would stop sounding so surprised all the time.

Raise the jolly roger, dammit. LET’S GO BUCS!

ClumberKim has lived in Pittsburgh over 13 years. An earlier version of this appeared on clumberkim.com. She cranked up the gush in this version.

Liar Liar Pants On…Oh, Wait. Maybe Not

By | July 14, 2011 | Baseball, Breaking News, Celebrity Athletes, Crazy People, Dain Bramage, MLB, Politics in Sports?, Talking Trash, Unsportmanlike Conduct | Comments Off

Roger Clemens used steroids. Allegedly. Then, Roger Clemens lied about it to Congress. Allegedly. I don’t know if y’all know this, but the U.S. Congress only likes to lie to you, they really don’t appreciate it when you lie to them. Um, allegedly.

Hence, a federal obstruction charge leveled on one, rather beefy Mr. Clemens. A trial which has just ended in a mistrial. Yay for wasted tax dollars!

Roger Clemens, testing the tensile strength of the fabric of his suit, and looking snazzy with his manpurse full of roids stylish satchel, his attorney who firmly believes that three-ring binders make one look more official and some dude in a blue tie, arriving in court on Wednesday.

Why the mistrial, you ask? Apparently, while discussing a matter of instructions, away from the jury, one of the attorneys left a video playing in the courtroom. Now, this video wasn’t Spongebob, Real Housewives of East Bumblefart or even a little harmless porn. This was a video that clearly displayed written statements by Elijah E. Cummings (D-Md) questioning the legitimacy and the credibility of one of the key witnesses in Clemens’ defense. These statements were made in the Congressional hearing in 2008, where Clemens denied any use of steroids or other performance enhancing drugs.Um, oops.

“Sadly, I have reached this conclusion,”said presiding justice, U.S. District Judge Reggie  Walton.

An earlier ruling was at issue, where no prior testimony was being allowed into evidence, including testimony from Clemens’ former teammate, Andy Pettitte.

“We’ll never know what impact that will have on how this jury decides this case, when we have a man’s liberty’s at stake. I am troubled by this. The government should have been more cautious.” Said Walton

He added, “I don’t see how I unring the bell” and keep the jury from considering what was on the video screen.

“In my view, Mr. Pettitte’s testimony is going to be critical as to whether this man goes to prison, and I can’t in good faith leave this case where a man’s liberty is at risk when the government should have assured we are not in this situation.”

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