(Mike Moustakas will save the Royals. Or the Yankees. Or the Red Sox. Damn.)
Would someone please ensure that Brian Cashman gets this post? I mean, he probably already knows about this anyway, but I want to start the bidding process early. I want him to look forward into the next five years and envision all the sub-par, over the hill veterans he is going to trade to us to acquire all of our newly farmed talent. What in the hell am I talking about, you ask?
Well, being that the Royals are pretty much just an extension of the Yankees farm system (and the rest of the league for that matter), Mr. Cashman already knows what the Royals have in store the next couple of years. Talent. Yes, you read that correctly. Pure talent. So much so, Baseball America has deemed not one, not two, but FIVE of our prospects as top notch. In fact, the Royals have five of the top twenty prospects in the Texas League alone. With players like Mike Moustakas and Eric Hosmer at one and two respectively on the list, the Royals are sure to be locked and loaded for the next couple of years, right?
Given the Royals propensity to totally fuck themselves in the homegrown talent department, I am willing to bet they’ll mess this up somehow. Either we’ll have a bunch of bombs or something worse. We’ll do what we always do. We’ll trade them away. Even worse yet? We’ll trade them to the damned Yankees. No, not the band. The baseball team.
So in an effort to just get this over with, I am offering these fine prospects up to the highest bidder now. I can’t afford to get all excited and attached to these players. I’ve suffered enough heartbreak and anguish over the years. I know what a 65 win season feels like. I am fine with it. I pay my money, take my seat, and root the Royals on and ultimately watch them lose. But if you start getting my hopes up with pure badass talent, I am going to start thinking that the Royals actually have a chance. And I for one, just can’t handle that.
TJ will start the bidding at $3 and a Chipotle gift card.
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