Ok, so last week I didn’t do too badly. In fact, I did pretty well. Let’s take a walk down memory lane.
First, GO FALCONS! Told you so, Sarah! In your face! (I say that in the most loving way possible.)
Last week I told you to pick up Jacoby Jones, and he did okay with 51 reception yards. While not fantastic, it’s better than what Wes Welker and a ton of other big names did on Sunday. Also, Andre Johnson is dinged up and as I said before, Walter is inconsistent and perpetually hurt. Jones will become a bigger factor in the offense moving forward. Meanwhile, he had enough points for me to say, ha.
Mike Tolbert collected 90 yards from scrimmage in Sunday’s loss to the Chiefs, but he lost a fumble and we don’t like that at all. Mathews is expected to play, but like I said last week, ankle sprains are Carrot Top funny. For those of you wondering what that means, I’m not entirely sure, but if I had to guess I’d say it’s because they’re swollen and they make you wince in pain when they act up. Anyway, after two solid weeks and the unproven Mathews still being unproven, Tolbert is worth hanging on to until it becomes apparent that Mathews can carry the load himself.
Jason Snelling does nothing but grind out 9-12 yards every time he touches the ball. I am a Michael Turner owner and a Falcons fan, but holy crap, Snelling is a monster and needs more touches. He will get them and if Turner goes down, expect multiple touchdown games every week. If you’re a Turner owner, you have to own Snelling.
Michael Vick has seemingly become the quarterback we all thought we would see. He has patience, he has maturity, and he scored 38 points for me the other day. What that means is, I can watch him succeed without punching walls. The thing is, I’m not sure if a person can change getting enjoyment out of torturing any living thing. Is it something you can fix? I don’t know. Despite my objections, I never had a say regarding his player status. All I know is, he’s here, he’s a part of the game now, and to me, no more important than those dogs were to him. In fact, I would totally be down for a Thunderdome battle between him and De Angelo Hall. In all seriousness, if he does feel genuine sorrow for what he did rather than feel regret for being knocked off his pedestal while in his prime, than I can forgive him.
Brandon Lloyd went off on Sunday and Thomas didn’t do badly, but he is clearly being factored into the Denver offense in a big way. Here’s the problem: Denver is starting to look like the Saints. “Oh my God! Did he just compare Kyle Orton to Drew Brees?!” No. Well, sort of. Jabaar Gaffney, Brandon Lloyd and Demariyus Thomas might be the best young receiving corps in the league and Orton is spreading the ball around enough to drive fantasy owners crazy. Through 3 games, it’s been a different receiver every week and the running game is starting to click with Moreno, Buckhalter and now Maroney, who looked fantastic on Sunday. Denver has a ton of weapons and is a serious contender.
Ok, so now we know that I gave you good advice last week. It’s as much of a surprise to me as it is to you. So, here are my newbies for you.
Bruce Gradkowski – Oakland QB
He’s no Jason Campbell, and thank God for that. Gradkowski is making the throws and between McFadden, Heyward-Bey, Murphy and Miller, Gradkowski is getting it done. He’s a gritty quarterback with above average skills and a big old heart. If you need a qb, he should consistently produce a minimum of 200 yards and 2 tds per week.
Peyton Hillis – Cleveland RB
Substituting for Harrison, Peyton hillis brought the pain on Sunday racking up 144 yards and a td against BALTIMORE. Hillis is about as nimble as a freighter and moves through defenses like one. Jerome Harrison will likely return this week, but Hillis seems to have cemented a share of the carries and unfortunately for Harrison owners, the goal line carries. Ouch.
Brandon Lloyd – WR Denver Broncos
Brandon Lloyd finally lived up to expectations with 169 yards and a td on Sunday against the Colts. Lloyd is a talented receiver and has the tools to be elite. Orton seems to love him and the run game is opening up opportunites. Lloyd could be in for a big year. The downside is, Eddie Royal, Jabar Gaffney and Demariyus Thomas. Orton will likely spread the ball around, but Lloyd has been emerging as the most consistent among all Denver receivers.
Dexter McCluster – KC Chiefs WR/RB
Einstein believed humans could never achieve a greater speed than the speed of light, but he never saw Dexter McCluster run. With 3 catches for 69 yards and a td on Sunday, in addition to already returning a punt for a td (while sick) McCluster is a weapon that any team would want to have in its arsenal. I expect McCluster to be used much like a Reggie Bush for now, not netting a lot of touches but doing more with those touches than anyone can. This guy is going to be a superstar in this league.
Kenneth Darby – RB St Louis Rams
Steven Jackson says he’s not too hurt, but I don’t buy it. Jackson is one carry away from going down for a handful of games, maybe more. Why am I saying that? Just a gut feeling. Jackson isn’t getting any younger and has been singlehandedly carrying the Rams offense since 1914. At some point, something’s gotta give, and I’m betting it’s his body.
Aaron Hernandez – TE Patriots
Good tight ends are hard to come by, and Hernandez might emerge as a must start. Brady loves to spread the ball around and loves a big tight end (insert joke here). Hernandez had 5 catches for 69 yards and a 13 yd rush on Sunday, making him an intriguing option. Each player in Brady’s backfield is 72 and outside of a few games, the Patriots are a throwing team. Expect Hernandez to start scoring soon.
That’s it, people. All in all, every player I told you about last week (with the exception of Thomas, who had a minor injury during the game) scored a minimum of 5 points. While that’s not going to win you any championships, shut up. I’m doing my best, okay? Whatever.
I will have you know sir, that I changed my pick from the Saints to the Falcons because of you and I almost won $144. (Why can’t the Giants ever win when I need them to?)
Well prognosticated, sir.
All I can say is: thank god Vick was still sitting on my waiver wire when Kolb went down in Week 1. Score!