I’m Your (Pantsless) Venus

Venus Williams wore her underwear to work again today.

Look ma, no pants!

Look ma, no pants!

Ho hum. Over it.

“Whoa, look! Did you see Venus’s teeny tiny outfit again? The black undies with the fireworks shirt? Shocking, right?”

“Did she win?”

“No idea. But did you see what she was WEARING?”

Whatever. I get it. Girl is smoking hot. I wish I looked that good, like every minute of every day I wish I looked that good. I also kind of wish I could even play a passable game of tennis without feeling like I was going to keel over and die and hit a ball without it knocking me in the eye, much less be one of the top-ranked players in the world.

Take that, John McEnroe, with your “ladies shouldn’t play as many matches as men, women are weaker, blahblahblah.” Venus Williams and women who are even half as good at tennis as she is are outstanding. I bow to them.

Also it’s still hot in New York, yes. And Venus is a fashion designer who is into the clothes. But I honestly have to wonder if these teensy beensy clothes are necessary? What’s next? She comes out naked with a racket? All “Whoo! Look at me! I’m a naked tennis player!” That would really shock me, I admit. I’d kind of like to see her try it. I guess she could still try to set the bar lower with fabric — or in this case higher and higher up her ass — but where does it end? You only have so much body and so little material to work with.

Anyway. Venus kicked barely-clothed ass on the court again today, advancing to the U.S. Open semifinal, in spite of the need to yank at her underwear pants for the duration of the match.

And that is the story I really want to tell you, that she advanced to the semifinal again in a Grand Slam tournament. But instead? Pants, or lack thereof, that’s what’s burning up the tubes. (Yes, including this one. I get it.) But that still irks me. Venus is one of the most talented and celebrated female athletes in history. While I think it’s a foolish myth that athletes equal role models, I do think that there could be some focus on the sport over the show. You can’t tell me she doesn’t know that when she comes out minimally-clothed on her bottom half, that that is going to be the buzz.

And honestly I guess that’s her prerogative. She has the history and the celebrity at this point to do whatever she wants, and no matter what she wears she’s still going to play kickass tennis until she doesn’t anymore. I just wish, even though I’m not exactly sure why I care, that she would put some pants on while she’s doing it.

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About the author
Laurie won her first writing award at her Maryland Catholic elementary school - an envelope of two-dollar bills from football-crazy nuns - in the second grade for a poem about the Washington Redskins. She still does not understand downs, so this just proves that she will write just about anything for the promise of money and minor glory. Try her. Her other interests include the WNBA, Dayton basketball (Go Flyers!,) tailgating, Capitals first-period goals, three-pointers and beer. She dislikes any former Patrick Division team, (especially the Pittsburgh Penguins and Philadelphia Flyers) overtime any time and serial retirers. She will someday have Capitals season tickets, attend an NFL game, and understand downs. Other writing happens at LaurieWrites and BlogHer. She still lives in - and loves - Maryland.

2 Replies to I’m Your (Pantsless) Venus

  1. jenni says:

    I’m just tired of the media paying more attention what what female athletes are wearing and what they look like than to how they play the game.

  2. ClumberKim says:

    Is she on Twitter? “Pants status” is kind of a thing.

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