I have been getting a lot of pitches lately about books for women. These books were written to help women better understand sports or sports terminology. During the hockey playoffs, these books wanted to teach me about icing and maybe make me aware of some famous NHL players. This month, they want to help me out with tricky baseball terms and advising me how to dress for a game.
Now, I don’t know how well you know me, but I can tell you this right now: I know what a triple double is, I know where LeBron James will be playing next year, I know who the coach of the Denver Broncos is, and I can speak intelligently about the problems with the BCS. Even if I couldn’t, even if I didn’t know what DH stood for in baseball, I would still be able to dress appropriately for an outdoor game.
Contrary to popular opinion, mothers and bloggers do leave the house every once in a while.
You know what else? Just because I have a vagina doesn’t mean that I only want to know where Ovechkin plays to impress my boyfriend. I watch ESPN when I am the only one home. My husband is the one that changes the channel to the Food Network because he can only stand to watch SportsCenter one time through, while I am content to watch it on a continual loop all day long.
When I open up the newspaper, I go to the sports section first, and it isn’t so the guys at work don’t think I’m a silly girl. The reality is that I need to know who is injured so I know who to start on my fantasy team.
These pitches (and yeah, they are pitches, just like in baseball) from the PR people, who think my readers need me to tell them to read this book so that they can figure out when the line will be shortest for the bathroom, don’t understand that my readers aren’t stupid. Sure, you might not all be able to explain the wild cat offense, but if I tried to pander and tell you not to wear a leather jacket to a baseball game in Florida in August, you would probably Google my address, come to my house, and beat the crap out of me with the hockey stick that you own because GIRLS LIKE SPORTS TOO!
I don’t mean to be a jerk or a know it all, but can somebody please explain to me why dressing for a baseball game is any different from dressing for a soccer match or a football game? Outside is outside. You know where you live. I assume we have all been outside before. Summer = hot, winter = cold. Unless you are in Florida, and then outside = hot.
My only thought for the focus on baseball is that weather plays a big factor. Day games in the middle of the summer can be brutal. So flip flops, shorts and tank top will be everywhere. But night games in northern climates can get chilly, so jeans and a light sweater may be necessary.
This latest PR pitch also contains this:
[author] interviewed fashion editors from across the country to see what
people will be wearing in your city.
Okay, so let’s say, for the sake of argument that I need fashion advice to go out in public. Let’s give them the benefit of the doubt and say that I am completely clueless about what people wear where I live. IF YOU ARE TALKING TO FASHION EDITORS THIS ADVICE IS ONLY GOOD FOR ONE SEASON. Fashion is constantly changing. A book is static.
I’ve got some baseball fashion advice — wear something to support your team. The players like that. It makes them feel loved.
Other advice my latest pitch offers:
- When to leave seats. Most people will leave to go get food, drinks or use the restroom when their team is in the field so that they won’t miss the action. For the shortest lines, leave when your team is at bat. You may miss a great home run but you will be back in a jiffy.
- Hard-to-pronounce names are spelled out phonetically.
- Conversation starters and commonly overheard terms.
Ahem. Yes, let’s miss the most exciting part of a baseball game so that we don’t have to stand in line to get a beer. Don’t worry, ladies, you will be home in time to iron your husband’s shirts. I can’t speak for all stadiums, but the six major league ball parks I have been to all have people walking around in the stands selling popcorn and cotton candy and beer and water. I’m not sure what it is like for Yankee or Red Sox fans, but where I live, unless Strasburg is pitching, there aren’t very long lines for anything. (No offense, Nats, you know I love you.)
I am just so tired of society thinking that people with ovaries are ignorant when it comes to sports. Maybe June Cleaver needs this book, but I am Sarah and I live in 2010 and I am offended.
Except for that pronunciation of tricky names part. That would actually be helpful.
This was originally written for and posted on BlogHer.com by Sarah.
Just beginning to branch out into sports blogging after a few years of life/health blogging and I am already formulating responses to silly PR pitches like these!
Where are these names spelled out phonetically? And since when can we not read either?
I tolerated the guy babbling at me about the NBA, but if anyone ever suggested that I need a hockey guide it would be bad.
And finally — if I want to learn about anything, be it history or biology or how to take a photograph or sports, can’t I just learn without some idiot guide based on my gender? Everything is wrong with this approach. And when it comes to clarification about downs, I’m just going to ask you.
Hallelujah. And that’s as close to religion as you’ll find me, except when I worship at the Church of Baseball.
*hand smacking head*
Really? Have they read your blog?
Although, that fashion thing may have come in handy for the Rockies game last week. Did they have a section on what to wear for a game that is hot, then cold, raining, lasts for 5 1/2 hours, AND includes a tornado watch? I really would like to know what one wears for a tornado watch.
@ClumberKim I used to have that entire speech memorized. “There are 108 stitches in a baseball and 108 beads on a rosary….”
The little voice on my shoulder is telling me to shut up, so I will, we can talk about it next month when you’re up here.
Having said that, I hope these books at least touch on some sort of seat etiquette, like not getting up during play, waiting for the whistle, and that trying to go pass me after the team breaks the huddle or the AB has started is a big big no-no? And yes, guys do it to.
WOW that is a pretty good prediction on the Rangers vs Caps, Philly in 6 or (7), great with SJ, not bad with Detroit,off with the Habs.I was pretty shocked about the Ducks and the? Canucks going to 7 vs the Hawks.