U.S. Open: Everyone Sucked Except One Guy

When Dustin Johnson teed off on the first hole on the last day of the U.S. Open with a three-shot lead after three days of making Pebble Beach his Pebble Bitch, most believed he’d roll to victory. In fact, I was watching the tournament with my father as he was explaining to me how Johnson won two Pro-Ams there and absolutely loved this course.

I hadn’t seen the first few days, I was doing some stuff, but had heard of old Dustin and his walk to victory. And when my father was done explaining Johnson’s meteoric rise to prominence, I said, “The Pro-Am ain’t the final day of the U.S. Open. The wheels are going to fall off. I guarantee it.”

By the sixth hole, Johnson had not only lost his lead, but dropped a full six shots back to even par. He would go on to shoot the highest round for a third round leader in 99 years.

This would open the door for Els, Love, Mickelson and Woods, all well within striking distance of the workhorse Graeme McDowell and last second qualifier, Havret. Els would even tie the lead at one point, seemingly poised to grab his third US Open.

Then they all sucked. No one could make a putt, no one could hit a shot, and the charge for which we all waited from one of the greatest players in the world would never happen. The drama was there, as they all had a chance to win, and the one who did just sucked less than everyone else.

Havret (the Frenchman who qualified by making a 50-foot putt on the last hole) would have a 15-footer to have a chance to force the playoff. He missed it. Els would have several opportunities, Love would kick himself no less than 50 times after the tournament, and Woods would tell announcers afterward something a long the lines of “It’s like I told Steve. We made three mental mistakes and it cost us the US Open.”  (I thought it was interesting that Tiger was the only one graceful enough to make it a team loss.) Mickelson looked as if he wasn’t sure this was the US Open, looking practically bemused as he hacked it around the course.

It was almost as if this last Father’s Day, every dad on the course would take a day of relaxation, except for the one watching his son, first-time major winner Graeme McDowell, beat the best golfers in the world without once waivering.

Graeme-Mcdowell-and-father

Happy belated Father’s Day, Mr. McDowell. There’s not a father in the world who doesn’t envy you.

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MayoPie is taking sexy back from Justin Timberlake. It’s only a matter of time.

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About the author
Clay (aka Mayopie) is sure the Mayans have it all wrong and that Bruce Lee will actually resurrect in 2012, bringing peace via the impending threat of an almighty tiger claw from the heavens. It’s all in “The New Bible” which Clay is currently writing with a group of imaginary friends he calls his “Aposse.” Clay is in advertising where he convinces people to buy things. Watch this: The New Bible. If you don’t buy it, you’ll probably die.

2 Replies to U.S. Open: Everyone Sucked Except One Guy

  1. You had be at “Pebble Bitch”.

  2. Roger says:

    Nice work!

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