Archive for May, 2010

Yay Celtics?!?

By | May 30, 2010 | Basketball, Talking Trash | 2 Comments

Boston-Celtics-nba finals-basketball

This basketball series is killing me.

I am a Phoenix Suns fan. Also, I am a “Laker hater.” I watch on pins and needles and with bated breath the games between the two teams. I  have to say, I am so excited for game 6 that I can’t even stand it. I really want Phoenix to win, if only so I can talk trash to my new friend from Massachusetts.

Who would’ve thought that the “old men” of Boston would make it to the finals for the 2nd time in three years? She did!

I watched Game 4 in a bar with her and found myself rooting for the Celtics. Not only was I commiserating with her over their loss, I was all bent out of shape with the lack of calls against Orlando and Dwight Howard’s Karl Malone-esque type of play. Also, I don’t think that Steve Nash’s face can take any more hard hits and since Dwight Howard,  of the Magic,  likes to throw his elbows it’s better to just avoid the whole meet up.

I don’t know though, if Boston will be able to defeat the Suns, which of course I don’t want. The Suns are just too fast of a team for the Celtics to try to beat.

The last time these two teams met, in 1976,  Boston won the series 4-2. I’m just hoping that Phoenix holds out against the Lakers and makes it to the Finals.

If the Celtics and the Lakers meet,  I just don’t think the Celtics can battle through Kobe and his compadres.

That’s just my opinion though.

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Burn. You. Tiki.

By | May 28, 2010 | Celebrity Athletes, Football, LVP, Unsportmanlike Conduct | Comments Off

The evil Barber twin shall be banned from the delivery room when his soon to be ex-wife Ginny gives birth to their twin daughters, which could pretty much happen any second now.

Why is he banned?

Oh right, because he left Ginny for his 23 year old homewrecking intern when Mrs. Barber was eight months pregnant with twins.

As a person who has given birth to twins, although I didn’t quite make it to my eighth month of pregnancy (my kids were born six weeks early) I can say without any qualms that I support Ginny’s decision 100 percent.

Tiki, as you may know, is a twin himself. Here is a photograph of his much hotter identical twin brother, Ronde.

Ronde_Barber

They have been in the news a lot. Both twins played in the National Football League. Ronde and Tiki were raised by a single mother, Geraldine. Both sons have made a huge deal about how difficult it was for their mother to raise the two boys all by herself.

Gerladine must be sick to her stomach.

Ginny already has two boys at home.

In my mind Tiki looks like this:

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Cheaters make me mad.

Cheaters with pregnant wives who are fucking their 23-year-old interns make steam shoot out of my ear holes.

Yeah, so Tiki can’t watch his daughters being born?

Good.

No mercy, Ginny. Save your strength. You are going to need it.

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I Hope Al Davis Isn’t Holding His Breath

By | May 28, 2010 | Crazy People, Dain Bramage, Football, WTF? | 1 Comment

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US Soccer Team Invited To White House, Shoe Porn Ensues

By | May 27, 2010 | Soccer | 2 Comments
The U.S. Soccer team visited the White House today and met with President Obama, Vice President Joe Biden and past President Bill Clinton. According to the Huffington Post Clinton was blown away by the fabulous footwear the US futbol players were sporting:

“I want to be on this team just for the shoes,” he said. “This is the only team that I’ve ever seen that had these cool shoes.”

These shoes.

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“Those are some sharp shoes,” President Obama concurred.

Incredulously, all of the team members just stood there. Nobody stepped up to give the President of the United States the shoes off  their feet.

Where is the love?

Clinton’s face says it all. You can almost hear him:

“Dude, none of these guys has the same shoe size as my boy Barack? WTF?”

The President was unable to hide his disappointment and Vice President Joe Biden is pictured consoling  a clearly crestfallen POTUS, no doubt offering, “Look man, as soon as they all leave, I’ll take you to Brooks Brothers. I promise. Just please stop crying.”

U.S. President Barack Obama and the U.S. Soccer team at the White House in Washington

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Devra wears her own awesome shoes over at Parentopia.

Five Fantasy MLB Phenomenons

By | May 26, 2010 | Baseball, Fantasy Sports | Comments Off

Part of the fun of fantasy baseball is hitting the jackpot with a dark horse player; one picked up in later rounds, possibly as an afterthought, who ends up contributing in an unpredictable way. With only six weeks until the All-Star break, these players are starting to emerge, providing valuable ammunition for both matchups or trading fodder. And maybe, if you’re lucky, you might find one of these gems hidden among available players in your league. Check out my five Fantasy Phenomenons for 2010.

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  • Ty Wigginton 1B/3B, Baltimore Virtually undrafted, Ty Wigginton stepped in at second for Brian Roberts, who’s been on the disabled list all season. Roberts is still weeks away, while Wigginton’s hitting .294 and is tied for second in homers across the league. He’s already doubled his home runs from last year.

Vlad

  • Vladimir Guerrero OF, Texas I’ve been pretty pleased with my draft pickup of Vlad. Hitting .339 with 37 RBIs, he’s also leading in All-Star voting at designated hitter. Guerrero is healthy, and has proved himself to be a reliable contributor, including two home runs last night against Kansas City, not bad for someone whose average draft pick was 118.

VERNON_WELLS

  • Vernon Wells OF, Toronto Wells is hitting just over .300 with 11 home runs and a whopping 33 RBIs. His average draft pick was 198, so many fantasy owners got him for a bargain. Toronto management, I’m sure, is simply heaving a sigh of relief that Wells is finally starting to show a return on their $126 million investment.

KellyJohnson

  • Kelly Johnson 2B, Arizona Clearly, no one thought Kelly Johnson would be the National League player of the month for April (only the fourth hitter in Diamondback history) when he signed a one-year $2.35 million contract last December. But he’s hit twelve home runs and twelve doubles.

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  • Jose Guillen, OF, Kansas City Like Wigginton, Guillen was overlooked during preseason drafts, but savvy managers (and KC fans) are gleeful over 31 RBIs and 11 home runs, including two in a win over the Rockies last week. He was hampered by injury last year, but is healthy and seems to be rebounding in an incredibly productive way.

In two weeks, I’ll pick five players who’ve underperformed this season. Do yourself a favor and immediately drop them, then pick up one of these guys.

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