Draft Day Suit

I am very tired of talking about Michael Vick. He has been in the news for what feels like an eternity and it would be nice to move on.

But then the Eagles went and picked him as their team’s nominee for this year’s Ed Block Awards, named for the long-time head trainer for the Baltimore Colts who was also an advocate for abused children. Each NFL team designates a winner every year, who supposedly exemplifies sportsmanship and courage.

And when he got it he said that he deserved it because 95 percent of the people in the world have not had to endure the things he’s been through, seriously.

Vick was in Baltimore tonight receiving this award. A number of animal-rights activists showed up to protest. Security was supposedly heavy and the usual practice of guests meeting players and getting autographs was abandoned, which I think is actually one of the most unfortunate things about this.

Organizations like the Humane Society are saying nice things about Michael Vick now and he is working with them on dog fighting prevention activities. He says some words about himself like “humbled” but mostly my ears still hear a lot of self-congratulation, like while he was accepting this award, for instance:

I think I do exemplify what this award stands for. I think everybody has the right to their own opinion. But I feel like I’ve done everything that I said I would do, coming out and moving forward. My peers felt like I was doing the right thing, and that I display courage and sportsmanship and leadership. I value their opinion.

He feels he has done everything that he said he would do, in a year.

And whereas he may indeed be going around to community centers and schools talking to kids and trying to prevent young people from getting involved with dog-fighting and I can certainly think of worse things he could be doing with his time, he was essentially told to do it. It was a condition of his (highly-paid) employment.

And yet, I still can’t think about the things he did and was responsible for without wanting to cry. I will probably  never be able to. And if that makes me ridiculous I am ridiculous. I like to believe in redemption but I also believe in my intuition and what I hear when I listen to Vick talk is not true contrition. It is straight off of a script that is all about how awesome he is and let me tell you, I am not capable by any stretch of engaging in the behavior he signed off on and participated in, but I am capable of doing what I’m told to do within reason if it means I get paid and I stay out of trouble.

But it doesn’t mean I wanted to do it. It doesn’t mean my heart was in it. It certainly doesn’t mean it was courageous.

I suppose it could take courage to walk out onto a field or onto a stage at a press conference when millions of people know about some horrific things you did and are standing there judging you for it, but all things considered, Vick’s return to football was rather warm and fuzzy. And I wonder when picking up the pieces of your poor choices and being allowed to go back to your job as a professional athlete and celebrity on a national stage and doing some of the community service you were basically required to do to save face – and your job – became courageous.

Courage is a big word, or at least, to me, it means big things. And when it comes to this supposedly redeemed Michael Vick I don’t know if it’s that I haven’t looked at the object in the mirror long enough for it to get clear enough or if it’s still too far away.

I don’t have to spend my time or energy hating this man, because that’s just not my thing. I can leave him to himself and the Philadelphia Eagles and the NFL to their choice to re-hire him. But I also don’t think I’m interested in congratulating him for much either, maybe ever, not when there are other people to congratulate who never killed dogs, and who maybe wouldn’t be so quick to acknowledge their own courage in the aftermath of this repulsive behavior.

And it’s really curious to me that so many people are so quickly interested in this kind of congratulating, that’s all.

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Tags: Ed Block Awards, Football, Michael Vick, NFL