Archive for November, 2009

The Top 10 MLB Ballparks I can’t wait to visit, part 1.

By | November 19, 2009 | Baseball | 8 Comments

This morning I got involved in a discussion on Twitter with @brandi_b and @TwoBusy about MLB ballparks.  As much as I’ve loved baseball one would think I’ve visited more parks than I have, but I can honestly only cross Comerica Park, Tiger Stadium, and old Yankee Stadium off the list.  I hope to change that in the coming years, especially as my children get older, so I decided to make a list ranking the ballparks I’d like to visit.

My list does not include the Metrodome, since it doesn’t host baseball anymore, or the new Target Field, which isn’t open yet.  I would, however, likely put Target Field near the top, but only in April, so I can yell to Twins’ fans that it’s still winter.  The list also doesn’t include the one current park I’ve been to – Comerica.

Anyway, numbers 11 through 29 go something like this:

11.  Coors Field
12.  Minute Maid Park
13.  Busch Stadium
14.  Progressive Field
15.  PNC Park
16.  Busch Stadium
17.  Nationals Park
18.  Dodger Stadium
19.  Yankee Stadium
20.  Citi Field
21.  Angel Stadium
22.  Chase Field
23.  US Cellular
24.  Turner Field
25.  Kauffman Stadium
26.  Oakland Coliseum
27.  Rogers Centre
28.  Land Shark Stadium
29.  Tropicana Field

And now, the ressssssst of the story:

10.  Safeco Field - With an outdoor ballpark appearance save for the ominous retractable roof hanging over the right field stands, Safeco seems to keep baseball where it should be – outside, while keeping weather where it should be – outside.  I’d imagine this and most of the remaining parks have sightlines similar to Comerica Park, which is good.  The Safeco Field font on the left-field sign looks pretty nice, too.

9.  Rangers Ballpark in Arlington – To sit in the right field upper deck and remember Tiger Stadium.  There’s pillars, people!

8.  AT&T Park – The Giants could do no wrong by moving out of Candlestick Park, in my opinion.  Unless, of course, they went across the bridge and played in Oakland Coliseum, but I digress.  I used to play softball sometimes at a field in northern Michigan with a bay just past the leftfield fence.  The splash of a home run made it the best park in the state.  I’d guess that the right field wall in AT&T Park has the same effect.

7.  Petco Park – I’ve read that this park is kind of a nightmare, especially as new parks go.  That doesn’t make it any less appealing to me, however.  The outfield grass seats are a nice touch, but I think I’d want to check out the Western Metal Supply building down the leftfield line.

6.  Great American Ball Park – I’m not sure what it is about this park that I specifically like, but there’s something.  It’s a little vanilla, in my opinion, and the red seats are kinda crazy, but the riverboat stacks, the big scoreboard, the double deck in left field – these are things that really appeal to me.

That leaves us with five parks.  Old, new, and a blueprint for today’s construction.  Stay tuned to Draft Day Suit for my top five in the days to come.

Irrational Hatred

By | November 19, 2009 | Football, NCAA, Talking Trash | 13 Comments

Two weekends ago, I was out at a bar on a Saturday afternoon watching college football. A friend of mine was in town from Oregon, so we were catching up on the Oregon/Stanford game. As a fellow Pac-10 alum (Go ASU!), I didn’t mind watching with her. I take more interest in Pac-10 football than most people in Chicago do.

Stanford routed the Ducks. It wasn’t even really all that close. At the end of the game, one of the people we were with, ajim-harbaugh fellow Chicagoan, was all “I didn’t know Jim Harbaugh coached Stanford! I LOVE Jim Harbaugh.”

And then I spewed hatred. And probably a little bit of actual saliva since I was drinking. Because I? DO. NOT. LIKE. JIM. HARBAUGH.

Why, you might ask? Well, I shall tell you. It is all because he forced Jim McMahon out of Chicago.

(I’ll just pause right here to let that sink in.)

This is normal, right? To have these irrational hatreds of athletes? For no good reason? Anyone? Bueller?

I understand rivalries. I hate University of Arizona (sorry Devra) because I went to Arizona State. I hate pretty much all of the schools in the Pac-10 for this reason. I am a Cubs fan, therefore hate the St. Louis Cardinals (although I think I actually hate the Houston Astros more. Stems from a deep-seeded hatred of Jeff Bagwell and Craig Biggio.) I am a Chicago Bears fan, so I don’t like the Packers or the Vikings.

But I have other hatred of players, coaches, announcers and teams, most for no good reason. And I’m not talking people I just want to root against. It’s meaner than that. I want to see them injured/destroyed. Here is a short list (with reasons)

  • Sean Salisbury – his eyes are too close together
  • Ray Lewis – because let’s be honest, he was involved in that whole thing somehow and got off scott free
  • Derek Jeter – JUST BECAUSE! (And no, he’s not cute.)
  • Lute Olson – he is the Anti-Christ
  • Mack Brown – do I even have to LIST a reason?
  • Torry Holt – he is a whiney bitch who REFUSES to get tackled and run routes in the middle of the field
  • Kurt Warner’s wife – Hey lady! YOU ARE NOT ACTUALLY THE ONE PLAYING!
  • B.J. Armstrong – pushed out John Paxson on the Bulls in the 90s

There are so many more, but I won’t continue. Wow. I should really get some therapy.

So tell me, who are the players/coaches/owners you love to irrationally (or rationally) hate?

Peyton Manning Isn’t a Witch You Blasphemer, He’s a Jedi

By | November 18, 2009 | Football | 1 Comment

It recently came to my attention that certain factions out there believe that Peyton Manning is a witch. This is just ridiculous superstition and a lot of heresy from I can see. Obviously, if you are paying attention to your pop culture – you realize that he is in fact, a Jedi.

Why, you say? WHY is he a Jedi?

Well it’s obvious, just take some of the codes that the Jedi live and train by:

1.) Train Diligently: Clearly, this is a guy who practice, practice practices. If you doubt this….you haven’t been paying attention.

2.) Provide Support: He’s a brilliant communicator and is always there to give his team proper direction.

 

The Force Is Strong In This One

The Force Is Strong In This One

or what about their rules of engagement – there’s clearly some Manning in a lot of these

1). LEARN TO SEE ACCURATELY – Thus the ability to nail a receiver at ridiculous distances.

2).Open your eyes to what is not evident – he finds holes and opportunities you didn’t even know where there.

3).Excersize Caution – even in trivial matters – We’re gonna put this one under CLOCK MANAGEMENT. Do you know ANYONE who controls the clock like Manning? No. No you don’t.

4). Allow others to draw on you – or recognize the blitz as it happens and realizes that those fools just left even MORE men open to receive your pass, which you get off nicely thus ruining their great idea.

Oh How I Hate Ohio State

By | November 18, 2009 | Football, NCAA | Comments Off

In the early-mid ’90s I worked football Saturdays for M-Den, an apparel store that sold University of Michigan clothing and memorabilia.  I was coaching baseball at the time and another coach was the manager of the downtown Ann Arbor location and me and a friend of mine helped out with a temporary store set up in the entrance of Yost Arena, Michigan’s hockey arena.

Those Saturdays always started way too early, as there were hardcore tailgaters in the Yost parking lot as early as 6:00 in the morning.  We’d unload tons of merchandise, set it all up nice and pretty, take a cursory glance at what was where and for how much so we didn’t look like total mouth-breathing morons when someone had a question, and we’d be open for business.

Usually by about 10:00 we’d really be smoking busy, and it would stay that way until probably 11:30 or so, with kickoff usually coming at noon.  Sometimes, early in the season, our need for sleep would be blessed with a 3:30 start, but that didn’t happen often enough.  Sometimes, the hated Buckeyes would come to town, and we’d be dying all day long save for the 3 ½ hours from kickoff to the singing of The Victors.

1995 was one such year. 

Ohio State came in 11-0 and ranked second in the nation.  They had an offense that featured three players who would be drafted in the top 14 overall picks in the 1996 NFL draft, including Heisman Trophy winner Eddie George.  For Michigan’s sake, however, OSU had John Cooper at the helm, and they also had an idiot wide receiver named Terry Glenn who earlier in the week said “Michigan’s nothing.”  Oops.

In Yost Arena, we played catch with a Maize and Blue football behind the stands.  We threw “bad call bricks” at each other.  We had snowball fights with the piles the zamboni left off the ice.  But on that day, we watched Tshimanga Biakabutuka shred the Ohio State defense for 313 rushing yards, spoiling the Buckeyes’ chance at a Rose Bowl berth, a Big Ten title, and a chance to play for a National Championship.  Nevermind that we’d watched it on a snowy 13″ TV set up in the bowels of the old arena, or that Michigan was playing for nothing much else than a win over their bitter rivals.  This was Michigan – Ohio State.  The greatest rivalry in all of sports, and we were getting paid to watch what would become my most memorable game in the series.  It couldn’t get any better than that.

DOUBLE FINGERS!!!!!(bcse one post about this was not enough)

By | November 17, 2009 | Football | Comments Off

When I was younger and more carefree about my office behavior, I worked in a place where the various supervisors spent the day playing pranks on one another and then flipping one another the bird as a thank you for the prank.

We eventually got into trouble, because the “DOUBLE FINGERS” salute was difficult to hide in a huge open office. Especially when you were casting it as someone 25 yards away.  You might be shocked to learn, THAT WE GOT INTO TROUBLE – and were told NOT to flip the bird in the office anymore.

So what we started to do was SAY it. We’d call each other and HISS into the phone “DOUBLE FINGERS!” when we found hand lotion all over the receiver of our phone or some such thing.

Now, I was oh, 24? Young.

I should think that  a gentleman of Bud Adams’ age would know that flipping the bird at work………is just a no no. He was after, IN HIS OFFICE – so to speak.

The fine was pretty out of line – I mean, it’s not like he leaned down and yelled SUCK MY BALLS or something. Which would totally be WORTH the 250k in my opinion. Plus, it would’ve been far feckin funnier.

I’m serious – owners and coaches and players. If you are going to pull a fine, make it more entertaining. From now on – I only want  stuff they can’t say on the news.

I have spoken. Make it so.

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