Irrational Hatred | Draft Day Suit

Irrational Hatred

Two weekends ago, I was out at a bar on a Saturday afternoon watching college football. A friend of mine was in town from Oregon, so we were catching up on the Oregon/Stanford game. As a fellow Pac-10 alum (Go ASU!), I didn’t mind watching with her. I take more interest in Pac-10 football than most people in Chicago do.

Stanford routed the Ducks. It wasn’t even really all that close. At the end of the game, one of the people we were with, ajim-harbaugh fellow Chicagoan, was all “I didn’t know Jim Harbaugh coached Stanford! I LOVE Jim Harbaugh.”

And then I spewed hatred. And probably a little bit of actual saliva since I was drinking. Because I? DO. NOT. LIKE. JIM. HARBAUGH.

Why, you might ask? Well, I shall tell you. It is all because he forced Jim McMahon out of Chicago.

(I’ll just pause right here to let that sink in.)

This is normal, right? To have these irrational hatreds of athletes? For no good reason? Anyone? Bueller?

I understand rivalries. I hate University of Arizona (sorry Devra) because I went to Arizona State. I hate pretty much all of the schools in the Pac-10 for this reason. I am a Cubs fan, therefore hate the St. Louis Cardinals (although I think I actually hate the Houston Astros more. Stems from a deep-seeded hatred of Jeff Bagwell and Craig Biggio.) I am a Chicago Bears fan, so I don’t like the Packers or the Vikings.

But I have other hatred of players, coaches, announcers and teams, most for no good reason. And I’m not talking people I just want to root against. It’s meaner than that. I want to see them injured/destroyed. Here is a short list (with reasons)

  • Sean Salisbury – his eyes are too close together
  • Ray Lewis – because let’s be honest, he was involved in that whole thing somehow and got off scott free
  • Derek Jeter – JUST BECAUSE! (And no, he’s not cute.)
  • Lute Olson – he is the Anti-Christ
  • Mack Brown – do I even have to LIST a reason?
  • Torry Holt – he is a whiney bitch who REFUSES to get tackled and run routes in the middle of the field
  • Kurt Warner’s wife – Hey lady! YOU ARE NOT ACTUALLY THE ONE PLAYING!
  • B.J. Armstrong – pushed out John Paxson on the Bulls in the 90s

There are so many more, but I won’t continue. Wow. I should really get some therapy.

So tell me, who are the players/coaches/owners you love to irrationally (or rationally) hate?

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About the author
Kristin, who also answers to Kristabella or “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. She honed her drinking skills as a student at Arizona State and is proud to be one of the few people who not only graduated from ASU, but graduated in four years. After working in the sports information office at ASU, which included a Rose Bowl appearance and a point-shaving scandal, Kristin landed a job with the San Francisco 49ers and spent six years living out a life-long fantasy of working in professional sports and getting sexually harassed every day. She now lives in Chicago and yells at athletes through the TV set. They can totally hear her. You can read her other inane ramblings at her personal blog, Kristabella: Full of Snark Since 1977, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.

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13 Replies to Irrational Hatred

  1. Sarah says:

    Mike Martz, Kurt Warner, I am totally with you on Derek Jeter that guy irritates me for no reason whatsoever, I have bad feeling about Jeff Fisher but it might just be that mustache, Tim Tebow… this is far to easy for me. It would seem that I, too, need therapy.

  2. ClumberKim says:

    The Yankees. All of ’em. None of them are “cute”.

    Also: Kurt Rambis (this is a problem as I have run the Timberwolves email list for the last 14 or so years and he’s now coaching)

  3. Rhi says:


    I think that is all for now.

  4. fifi says:

    Def. Derek Jeter but mostly just because the boyfriend has a massive man crush on him and yells out embarassing things like, ” Derek, I love you.” (True story. He actually yelled that when we were at a Yankees-Indians game in Cleveland when he thought the Cleveland fans were being too mean to Jeter.)

    Also, I know this is old, but it still irks me: Brady Quinn’s sister and her stupid split jersey at the OSU-Notre Dame Fiesta Bowl. Pick a side. Or here’s a novel idea: just don’t wear a jersey. Unless you want to be a fame whore (oh wait…). Btw I am an OSU fan.

  5. Kristin says:

    Aaron Rodgers, A.J. Hawk, Eli Manning – I just don’t like them.

  6. Denora says:

    The Yankees. All of them. Especially Mark Teixeira since he made the Angels trade Casey Kotchman, and then blew out of town a few months later. Brett Favre, Tony Romo, Carson Palmer, and USC. Sam Cassell (holy hell, ugliest man alive), Mark Cubin, Steve Nash. I could name quite a few more too. It’s a little sad how much irrational athlete hate I have. Maybe we could start a support group?

  7. Kristabella says:


  8. Mahnee says:

    Peyton Manning and the rest of the Colts
    Ozzie Guillen, AJ Pierzynski…oh, hell…the WHite Sox…ALL the White Sox now and forever amen

  9. scarlet says:

    Haha I totally understand! I hate the Cowboys and the Yankees. Recently I wrote about my friend at work FREAKING OUT about me cheering for the Phillies (and against the Yankees). I don’t like Kuznetsova (tennis) or Henin (BOY! also tennis).

  10. Headless Mom says:

    Don’t be dissin’ my Peyton!

    I hate Jay Cutler, his stupid haircut and the way he bad-mouthed Denver when he left. Uncool.

  11. -R- says:

    I’m with the others on Eli Manning.

    Also Rick Pitino (not because of the recent weird sex with some lady in a restaurant story), Colt McCoy, and Tim Tebow.

  12. NGS says:

    I hate Daunte Culpepper. I despised him when he was paid a million dollars an interception in Minneapolis, didn’t care when he went to Miami, and now get VERY pissed every time he walks out in a Lions uniform. (It’s hard to be a Lions fan. Just let me stew in my personal misery.)

    I hate Kobe Bryant. He is an admitted rapist.

    I hate Michael Vick. Frankly, I hate the Eagles. McNabb can McSuck it.

    I went to an Ohio university that wasn’t Ohio State, so I hate the Buckeyes, too. This felt really good.

  13. laurie says:

    I am late to this but I love you more now.

    Sidney Crosby and the rest of the Pittsburgh Penguins but mostly Sidney Crosby. Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I call him bad names although I shouldn’t, and when he was trying to grow his playoffs mustache I could not contain myself. Also any team in the former Patrick Division besides the Washington Capitals, the ones who were there all along -the New York Rangers and Islanders and the Philadelphia Flyers. Lose, fools, LOSE.

    Mike Krzyzewski, Duke basketball coach. I don’t know why, it somehow goes beyond the Maryland rivalry.

    I don’t like Jeter at all at all at all, or A-Rod either. Barf. Also Jason Campbell because I’m sick of hearing about him and how badly he plays football. I just wish he would go away.

    And Vick. But that’s a whole other sad story.

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