Love may mean nothing in tennis, but hate will cost you at least 10 G’s.
I come from a tennis family. I received my first tennis racket and tennis whites from my cousins when I was 4 years old. Every summer, I lived and breathed playing tennis, whether it was taking my racket to a public park in New York City and hitting a bright yellow ball against a graffiti-ed wall or backhanding a volley with my dad on the court at our country house in upstate New York. Knowing this, it will come as no surprise that some of my favorite summer memories involve watching tennis on TV (or the Telly as my family called it) with the whole fam damily. In particular the US Open was must-see tennis TV in our household. During this time, my dad and cousins would serve up the scotch, or the Tom Collins, and I would sip on my own special drink, a tonic water with a slice of lemon. All of us would munch on an assortment of gourmet crackers and cheeses, olives and crudite’ with the understanding that we would speak only during commercial breaks. When I got to high school I would joke that “Intennis” would be an acceptable term to use for our intensity when it came to watching any of the Grand Slams.When I got the chance at 15 to go with my mother to England for the summer, you bet your sweet arse I took the train out to Wimbledon all by myself so I could stand at center court and watch some of the greatest of the greats play ball. Sipping a Pims cup, eating strawberries and cream. Ahhhh this was the life!
Despite my own interest in tennis, my sons really hadn’t developed the same affection for watching it on TV, however after summer camp last year, my kids came back with a renewed interest in tennis. And I was of course very happy about it. So over the weekend the kids and I were watching the US Open Women’s Singles Semi Final between Serena Williams and Kim Clijsters Since my family is not as “intennis” about watching, we do talk during the matches. We discussed how Kim is a new mom, how she took a year off from playing and is now coming back and doing so well. I am quite proud of my sons that they recognize women in sports as being equally impressive as men being on the court, field or diamond. My children understand the great equalizer is as much about athletic prowess as it is about sportsmanship (sportspersonship?), so you can well imagine my kids were surprised to see Serena Williams lose her shit on the court, not once, but twice.
When Serena lost the first set to Kim, she threw her own racket down and broke it. Okay, well this isn’t anything new. I remember watching John McEnroe do the same thing in 1981 at Wimbledon. And the response from the officials to Serena’s outburst was to lob her a warning and play continued which historically is how such tantrums have been handled. I explained this to my sons as they wondered why she wasn’t just told to leave the game if she couldn’t play nice. But then came the “foot fault“ called on Serena.
My children and I watched as Serena cursed out the lineswoman, not once, but twice. While the audio of her tirade wasn’t able to be heard, I would be kidding myself if I didn’t think my 9 year old and my 13 year old missed lip-reading the word “fucking” being said by Serena repeatedly. It didn’t go unnoticed by me, but I waited to say anything until I heard an audible confirmation from the two of them that they had figured it out. “Mom, did you see what she just said?” Confirmation complete. We all watched as Serena challenged the lineswoman, the Chair, Donna Kelso the Grand Slam Supervisor and Brian Earley the US Open Referee. Visions of John McEnroe danced in my head. I remember watching him tantrum on the court many times, it was afer all what he was known for, just as Jimmy Connors was known to have a potty mouth. So as I watched what was unfolding, I was trying to think how my own parents addressed the bad behavior I sometimes saw when I watched Jimmy and John. And you know what? They didn’t say a thing to me about it. Nope, they didn’t use it as a teachable moment, they did not discuss the replay. I know. Sounds horrible doesn’t it as we look through today’s lens of overly intense parenting practices? But I assure you, I’m on it.
Basically it comes down to this, if you are teaching your kids right from wrong, they know it and can see it for themselves. Nothing tops personal experience and direct observation. So, it was with this in mind that I said nothing to my sons about what they think they lip-read or what they saw Serena do. We did discuss a little bit about ”roid rage” and wondered together if that was what we were seeing in Serena, but at the same time hoped it was not the case. I listened as they both talked to each other about how even when under pressure, you just can’t say and do whatever it is you feel like doing. Both of the kids brought up that Serena wasn’t respectful to the lineswoman and the sport in general.
When it was announced on Sportscenter that Serena had been fined $10,000 for unsportsmanshipconduct and another $500 dollars for racket abuse my sons reinforced my decision to not overparent them in the moment as they both chimed in simultaneously, “She deserved that.” And that my friends, is a double grand slam in the parenting department. In lieu of a trophy, I’ll just grab a tonic water and a slice lemon for old times sake.
Tags: Serena Williams, Tennis, unsportsmanlike conduct, US Open, WTA
[...] was watching the U.S. Open with their children. (Not that they haven’t heard that language before. They nduct watched football over at my [...]
What is confusing to me in this land of celebrity anger mismanagement is that while most people agree that this kind of behavior is unacceptable, these people are still highly regarded and financially rewarded in the culture at large.
I also have a problem with athletes being viewed as role models, but that’s another story. I know it happens because kids who can somehow identify with them look up to them but I wonder if they all view themselves that way – and even if they did if their behavior would change.
I’m thinking about values and ethics too much lately. It’s headache-inducing.
Laurie,
I am with you on both of your points. What I did not add to my post, only because I felt it was getting very long, we also discussed “Was it enough of a punishment to be finded less than 10% of the earnings?” No. We all agreed Serena should have lost the entire 350,000 dollars she got for playing in the tournament in addition to losing the match.
I think there are a few athletes who consider themselves to be role models and take it seriously, but I also have seen plenty be interviewed about how they resent being given that role by the media and fans when they themselves never entered the sport with role model in mind.
Ultimately I think as a culture we need to stop overvaluing athletes, both monetarily and sociologically. With the inflated salaries comes the inflated sense of importance. I wish someone had enough cajones to say “I’m only going to accept 100,000 dollars a year for my salary. If I make more with advertising sponsorships, so be it.”
Where did I put my crack pipe? I know it’s here somewhere…
“Finded” should be “fined.” Crack is whack.
Two completely unrelated comments.
1) I think the fine was not enough, but losing ALL of the money is too extreme. Maybe instead of taking more money they should suspend her from the next major tournament.
2) I love your title deeply.
I think her penalty is not enough. I understand there is an investigation underway. I hope when they watch the tirade(s) again, they will not only notice the repeated vulgarities, but also the threatening body language and actions. This wasn’t an angry outburst, I am so tired of hearing that phrase. This was CRIMINAL BEHAVIOR in the US Open, a professional tennis match – the last place you would think you’d see it. USTA send a message please, for the sake of the sport and the youngsters coming up. Fine Ms. Williams at least $250,000 (that’s nothing to her) and suspend her from at least one slam tournament in 2010. Maybe then she will “get it”, that what she did was extremely serious. If I had my way, she would also be stripped of her doubles title – she should not have left this tournament with any trophy.
I think a “fine” that is less than 10% of the earnings of the tournament is a mockery of being a penalty. In soccer if a player gets a “Red Card” they are ejected from that game and suspended from playing in the next following game. Seems Tennis may need something similar.
I read that the lineswoman was truly shaken by the confrontation. Serena Williams is not a teenager, she is a 27 year old seasoned Tennis professional and I don’t really buy her defense of “I’m just an emotional person.” Well, if you are an almost 30 year old woman and you can’t control yourself while you are at work, then get your ass into therapy. She should be required to take some anger management classes at the very least.
I agree that the fine should have been larger, and two thumbs way up for your parenting skillz. YOU’RE my role model, Devra.
I do wonder, however, whether we’re more inclined to come down on Serena for her bad behavior because (a) it capped a week of inappropriate and incredibly rude behavior (I’m looking particularly at you, Congressman Joe Wilson), and (b) she’s a woman? As mentioned in the post, Jimmy Connors and John McEnroe were guilty of similar behavior in their day, and it was treated as either amusing or annoying. It wasn’t met with the collective gasp that Serena’s outburst was. As I said above, I think the fine was too small, but I sure do wish that the standard of conduct were the same for everyone, on every court.
Also, I agree with Sarah: awesome title.
I think a lot of the gasping has more to do wtih the increase in technology than the outrageousness of the behavior. When Jimmy and John were having their tantrums, YouTube didn’t exist, no one was tweeting about it, and certainly there weren’t any all sports networks on the television covering it every 5 minutes in recaps and bloggers weren’t even around.
So while the boys were given fines for their ridiculous outbursts, just as Serena experienced, their behavior did not have the “long tail” as once it was reported on the evening news, and possibly mentioned during a drive-time radio show, that was about it.
I think the standards of conduct have remained consistent in Tennis, everyone is fined or penalized for it, but it’s the way the situation is now covered by both mainstream media and citizens which has changed and the result is more people find out about it and can discuss it more often for a longer period of time. So it gives the appearance that more people are horrified now, but really I think it was fewer people had access to what was going on prior to the technological advancements in television and the Internet.