Allen and Mullets and Schisms, Oh My

By | August 30, 2009 | Football, Talking Trash | 5 Comments

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About the author
Laurie won her first writing award at her Maryland Catholic elementary school - an envelope of two-dollar bills from football-crazy nuns - in the second grade for a poem about the Washington Redskins. She still does not understand downs, so this just proves that she will write just about anything for the promise of money and minor glory. Try her. Her other interests include the WNBA, Dayton basketball (Go Flyers!,) tailgating, Capitals first-period goals, three-pointers and beer. She dislikes any former Patrick Division team, (especially the Pittsburgh Penguins and Philadelphia Flyers) overtime any time and serial retirers. She will someday have Capitals season tickets, attend an NFL game, and understand downs. Other writing happens at LaurieWrites and BlogHer. She still lives in - and loves - Maryland.

5 Replies to Allen and Mullets and Schisms, Oh My

  1. GoonSquadSarah says:
    August 30, 2009 at 7:33 pm

    Jared Allen slays me. I’d never even heard of him until last week.

    He is like the 2009 version of Yogi Berra.

  2. TwoBusy says:
    August 30, 2009 at 9:14 pm

    I’d like to re-do our draft and take Jared Allen #1. I realize that’s probably not possible on several different levels, but still… I feel very strongly that while it might screw me for the season, at the very least it would be a substantial moral and stylistic victory.

  3. laurie says:
    August 30, 2009 at 11:45 pm

    This has not yet stopped being funny. It may never stop.

    And I would like to do a player draft just so I can steal the idea directly above me, much like Jared Allen stole “schism” right out of my dictionary.

  4. Gidge says:
    August 31, 2009 at 2:13 pm

    Did he just say that he has 11.5 sacks?
    Cuz he said he has 11.5 racing stripes and one for each sack………
    is that what I heard?
    What is a half sack? Can I get some footage of that?

  5. laurie says:
    August 31, 2009 at 8:35 pm

    I wondered that too but I figured it was something I just didn’t understand about sacks but should. ;)

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