Usain Bolt is Faster Than You

Usain Bolt is faster than anyone.

Oh. I just realized when I was typing that that his name is Bolt. BOLT. I, unlike Usain Bolt, am slow.

He set a new world record by running the 100 meter sprint in 9.58 seconds yesterday in the World Athletic Championships in Berlin, beating his own record of 9.69 seconds from last summer’s Olympics in Beijing. I might have time to solve a minor problem in my own mind in the time it would take me to run 100 meters. His synapses barely have time to fire.

Beijing 100 meter race here.

Berlin race, in HD.

That makes the Beijing run feel like an eternity, doesn’t it?

A runner with personality and confidence, it’s been said that when he waits to openly celebrate how ridiculously fast he runs, he runs faster. Rival and second-place finisher Tyson Gay set the American record yesterday with a 9.71 finish, going on in interviews afterwards about how he could have totally beaten him, whatever, although analysts had their money on Bolt going in.

Kerron Stewart, also of Jamaica, came in first in the women’s 100 with a time of 10.92, one of three Jamaican women in the top four. American Carmelita Jeter came in second at 10.94. .02 seconds, an eternity.

See? Fast.