Archive for December, 2008

0 – 16

By | December 29, 2008 | Football | 1 Comment

0 – 16?

Congratulations to the Detroit Lions. You pretty much have to work at losing every single game in a season.

The 2008 Lions now join the 1976 Tampa Bay Buccaneers who until yesterday were the only NFL team to go an entire season without winning a game.

And there were only 14 games in 1976.

And the Bucs were an expansion team.

Ouch.

I know they can rejoice in the fact that they get the first pick of the 2009 draft, but they could have still had the #1 draft pick at 1 – 15. Even the Rams and the Chiefs won two games apiece.

Football for Girls 08 – Part Two “Controlling Your Own Destiny”

By | December 26, 2008 | Women's Sports | Comments Off

This is a phrase that seems to be the “Phrase du Jeur” of the color guys here at the tail end of the season. Hell, of the analysts as well.
It might seem that it is reasonably logical, in it’s nature.
Either you control your own destiny – or you don’t.

But here is the piece that can be tricky, especially if you aren’t a season long addict. Teams can win pivotal games, games they HAD to win – and if they “don’t control their own destiny” – they can win that game but still not make the playoffs because team B somewhere else won their game also.

Or, Team A can lose a game, and if AND if Team B loses a game – well then Team A might go to the playoffs.

You’ll hear the lamenting, of the sports fans in your house, and the sportscasters – both color and analysts- who are bewailing the fates of great teams who “Don’t Control their own destiny.” Meaning they could win out the rest of their season and still not make the playoffs.

How can this happen?

It’s easy. They played a bunch of shitty football at the beginning of the year, and got their act together TOO late to clinch a spot for themselves. So now they’re not only forced to win or die – if someone else doesn’t perform as POORLY as they’d like, they’re S.O.L.

Doesn’t matter if by the end of the season you’ve put together the best offense in football, if your season record doesn’t cut the mustard, that’s just the way it goes.

And this ladies, and non-football inclined boys is why it is important to control your destiny – from Game 1 in the season.

Did I mention that ATLANTA is currently rocking my world a bit? Go Falcons, you former losers!

Football for Girls ’08

By | December 21, 2008 | Women's Sports | Comments Off

Okay – I decided that Football for Girls Did Not Get Enough Life Last Year – So I am TRULY gonna bring it this year with more posts – but I wanted to Start OVER for any girls who might want to not be lost this playoff season.
Who’s gonna make the playoff’s? Who has clinched a spot? Who doesn’t control their fate? Seriously – start watching Sportscenter now ladies, 30 minutes a day – will up your Football IQ immensely……..here we go…

Football for Girls 08 – starting with the three posts from last year…..

Okay since the playoffs are rolling down the pike at us full steam, I thought I’d take this time to do some short PSAs for you girls out there who, unlike Sarah and I, do not enjoy football with full tilt passion yet are in a position where you end up watching it every weekend.

Your husband/boyfriend/butch girlfriend and Me & Sarah get annoyed by your endless inane questions so I thought I’d help you out. It’s really not your fault, you don’t dig the sport and you’re trying to interact with others about it, but we football fans can be short tempered about explaining stuff when it means we might miss a play and have to rewind the Tivo. We only want to rewind the Tivo on our terms.

Let’s start with a simple one, something that I was asked yesterday.
“What is with that yellow line and why does it move?”

Sigh.

Okay – there are two lines on the field that move – one is usually yellow, one is either blue or greenish depending the the network and the resolution of the set you are watching. The blue/green line is the line of scrimmage. The best way to explain this is that it is where the ball is starting. (How the ball got there, is really a whole other conversation we’ll skip for now).

The other line – the YELLOW line is the 10 yard mark FROM the line of scrimmage. The easiest way to explain this is that it is WHERE the offensive is trying to get the ball to. The offense has 4 tries/plays (DOWNS) to get the ball there. If the ball can get to the yellow line, the offense gets to keep the ball to attempt another 10 yards.
When the offense gets the ball to the yellow line, this is the FIRST DOWN – that you’ve heard about.

Essentially, your offense (the team with the ball) is trying to get the ball down the field in 10 yard increments. Sometimes they throw, sometimes they run. Sometimes they get way more than 10 yards. This is a good thing.

The players cannot see the yellow line or the blue/green line. It only exists on your TV. The players use the actual yard lines and hash lines to determine where they are going.

Next class: Downs, what are they, why are there 4 ?
- If you have a question this year – or there is something you want explained in non-guy terms – tell me and I’ll cover it!

Andy Kennedy May be a Visitor

By | December 20, 2008 | Basketball | Comments Off


I don’t know what is weirder, the fact that the Ole Miss basketball coach, Andy Kennedy, was arrested for punching a cab driver or that his head looks like this in his mug shot.

This charmer called his taxi driver in Cincinnati Bin Laden before physically assaulting him.

I guess I’d be angry if I looked like an alien too. I just wouldn’t have taken it out on some poor guy I didn’t even know. I would try to focus on my parents or the doctor that delivered me.

No, I’m not usually one to make fun of the way someone looks if it is something they can’t help. I usually try to only make fun of their clothes, acting or musicianship. In this case, however, I don’t feel bad. This guy is jerk and a racist. He deserves what he gets.

And I’ve Been Weeping Ever Since

By | December 19, 2008 | Football | Comments Off

This week Tampa Bay defensive coordinator, Monte Kiffin, announced that he would be leaving the Buccaneers to coach under his son Lane at the University of Tennessee next season.

Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap.

Kiffin made the Bucs what they are – a defensive powerhouse. There are only a few guys left from the Super Bowl days and most of them are getting pretty old.

Yeah, we’re 9 – 5 so far this year, but it is an ugly 9 – 5. The defense is really the only reason The Bucs aren’t a lot closer to 4 – 10.

And I am being generous.

Kiffin is leaving! This makes it official. *gulp*

The Bucs are going to be rebuilding next year and they have won just enough games to ensure a shitty draft pick.

Awesome.

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